Archives 2013

Week of 12.30.13 – Best of 2013

Thanks for Mark’sFriggin.com ‘s complete rundowns of every show.

Replay of Michael J Fox was in studio plugging his new TV show. He said Eric Stoltz was supposed to be in Back to the Future, but he must not have been cheesy enough or rolled his eyes, so he got the part.  He had been making Family Ties, and they didn’t want to let him off to do the picture, but the 2nd time they asked, they let him go.  He’d been making Teen Wolf, which Michael says was a low-budget metaphor for puberty.  It was a hit because it was released after Back to the Future.  Afterwards, he felt he owed the producers of the show, so he stayed on the show.  Howard said it was crazy to watch this big movie star in this TV show.  Michael said if he was smart, he wouldn’t have been on TV telling Mallory to get off the phone.  Then at 29, he was told he had Parkinson’s, and had only 10 years left to work, so he took any job he could.

Get My Grandpa Laid contest sponsored by Bad Grandpa.  Whoopi Goldberg was in studio talking about the Color Purple and Ghost.  Paul McCartney was in studio and Howard asked him about writing the theme song for Live and Let Die.  He said he was asked to write it only, but Paul said no way, he wanted to write and then record it with Wings.  He read the book on Saturday, then wrote the song on Sunday.  Robin Thicke was in studio and said his wife is in the new 2 Guns and it was her idea to do a scene topless. He also wrote the closing song in Despicable Me.  Derek the Actor called in, and Fred plays the music from Mars Attacks!

Joseph Gordon-Levitt was in studio promoting Don John, which he stars, wrote and directed for only $ 3-4 million, which was half the budget of 500 days of Summer.  Howard said he couldn’t take his eyes off the screen, as it really shows how guys watch pornography. Joseph says it also shows that she watches as much romantic comedies as he watches porn, so that neither one can really connect with real people.  We’re all used to one way satisfaction and are addicted to TV.  He was in 50/50 which was rated R, and he wanted to make this an R movie so that they can talk how they really talk.  Howard says Tony Danza is amazing as his dad.  Joseph said he played his dad in 1993 in Angels in the Outfield.  Howard asked him about the rumor that Christian Bale told him during the filming of The Dark Knight Rises not to do his own movie – Joseph said that was not true – it was Christopher Nolan, the director of that movie and also Inception.  He didn’t tell him not to make it, just asked him if he was really sure he wanted to do it all: write, direct and star. He got real pumped up during this movie, like it was a part time job.  He used Channum Tattum’s trainer.  Gained 12 pounds of solid muscle.  He didn’t feel that great though.  He felt much better during the filming of a movie where he played a bicycle messenger.  He had to ride a bike every day and felt really healthy. He had known he wanted Scarlett to play the lead.  He went to see her while she was filming Avengers and wanted to talk to her about it before she read the script. The end of the Batman movie implies he is going to become either Robin or Batman, so Howard asked him if he was upset he wasn’t asked to play the new Batman.  He said no, that he had made a trilogy, and it’s over.  The new Batman will start another story.  When Howard asked what TV he watches, he said Louis CK makes brilliant half hour movies.  Joseph was in the TV show 3rd Rock From the Sun as a kid.  The final year of the show he decided to go to college and the producers were generous to let him out.  He went to Columbia College and got tons of  pussy because he was famous.  He has trouble thinking if he’s getting attention from girls due to being famous or do they like me? His inspirations were Hal Ashby movies Harold and Maude, Shampoo and Being There and Woody Allen movies.  The first role he had in a movie that broke was Mysterious Skin, Brick, Looper and the Lookout. He played Lincoln’s son and Howard asked him about the stories of Daniel Day-Lewis always staying in character and how weird it was.  Joseph said he’s not always Lincoln, just stays in the voice and the mood.  He received a handwritten note on old parchment paper by quill and ink from him – he’d studied the  Lincoln’s penmanship.  When Howard asked him about working with Spielberg, He says Spielberg worked with them to capture the actor’s energy on the film; he even called him Mr. President.  He was told that Daniel wanted him for the part.  Howard asked if he was going to play Dr. Strange and he said he’s not up for that.

Seth Rogen is in studio, and Howard tells him that This Is The End is really good.  It’s about Seth Rogen and James Franco with a bunch of other empty-headed Hollywood people at James’ house when the world ends.  Howard says James Franco plays a guy who is constantly ready to suck Seth Rogen’s dick, as Seth’s the writer who gets James all his jobs.  Howard asked if their real life relationship was like that, and Seth said it goes both ways.  Howard asked Seth about the story that Barbra Streisand’s son was jealous of her relationship with Seth during the filming of The Guilt Trip. Seth said that James Franco really drank piss, like Divine ate shit in Pink Flamingos, which Howard saw when he was high at a midnight showing and it was too much for him and freaked him out.  Emma Watson from Harry Potter movies is in Seth’s movie and he says she’s really small and very pretty, though he realized she was going to be hot in the first Harry Potter movie.  Seth called that the pervy moment for the world when everyone realized she was going to be hot.  Seth said she was great in the Perks of Being a Wallflower.   Howard asked Seth if he was worried that he might get an X rating for this movie, and Seth said they’d heard that Team America got their sex scenes by the censors by filming it much more graphic than they wanted, knowing the censors would tell them to tone it down to what they wanted originally.  Seth said there is a scene where the devil is fucking Jonah Hill and they show his penis, so they decided to make it very large and veiny, and the censors let it pass.  Howard guesses the reason is that it was a monster dick, not a real one. Howard watched it on his iPad.  Seth said his movie is coming out the same weekend as the new Superman Man of Steel movie, and they talk about how ridiculous it is that they’re telling the same Superman story of him growing up with the same farmer father to instill values and the same villain.  Howard says he hated Behind the Candelabra , the Liberace movie.  He says it’s a hatchet job written by Boober making Liberace look like a vampire that fed on the blood of young boys.  Said it was a piece of shit.  Michael Douglas, Rob Lowe and Matt Damon were all great, but the movie was shit.  We don’t learn anything about why Matt Damon wouldn’t have just said “fuck no” when Liberace told him he wanted Boober to have plastic surgery to look like Liberace.  Howard said there was no back story explaining their relationship, it’s just about him being gay. The movie Super 8 is the movie that gave him the bad rep with the movie studios because the advance copy they sent him never got back to the studio, and now he can’t get another advanced copy.  Jason Kaplan said the movie Pineapple Express is the first movie that spoke to him.

Katie Couric was in studio.  Howard was asking her about dating after her husband had died, and wondered if she’d need to do a Jack Nicholson Something’s Gotta Give by going and seeing all her old boyfriends and apologizing.  He also asked her if her husband made a tape for their daughters before he died, and she said that they’d seen My Life with Michael Keaton where he does that long before they knew her husband was ill, and it destroyed her.  During his illness, they always had hope, and she said whenever they got more bad news, she always said to him they would beat it, and never would have asked him to make a tape.  That would have been admitting he was dying.

James Franco was in studio to plug Spring Breakers.  He says he thought Spring Breakers would change cinema the way Tree of Life  did years before. Howard said it looks pretty fucking hard core and is looking forward to seeing it.  He talked about hosting the Oscars with Anne Hathaway the year he was up for 127 Hours.   Said Colin Firth won that year for The King’s Speech.   He was going to do a bit dressed as Cher in Burlesque, but it was cut.  He talked about losing the lead roles in Spider-Man and  Seabiscuit both to Tobey Maguire.  Sam Rami asked him to take the role of Spider-Man’s friend.  He had to think about it, as the only other good and successful superhero movie up to that point had been Tim Burton’s Batman.  So the news was reported that he was thinking about taking the role, and he heard Howard and Robin talking about it on the air, calling him an asshole and saying “James Franco has to think about taking the friend role in Spider-Man.  Yeah, right!  What’s he got going on?”  Howard said that probably James Franco was too good looking to play Peter Parker.  Again, Howard said he loved Your HIghness.  James said he went to school with Danny McBride and they used to sit around and make up names for movies, and they came up with that one.  James talked about James Brolin in  Goonies, being a good bad guy with his severe face.  He talked about getting his big break in Freaks and Geeks,  and then his role in  Pineapple Express,  which Robin said was a great movie.  James didn’t like his movies Tristan + Isolde, Annapolis, Flyboys, and Whatever It Takes,  He said he got the role in Milk  after Sean Penn saw him in James Dean,  He started smoking and wouldn’t speak to his family for 3 months while becoming James Dean.  Said it was weird in Milk having to kiss Sean Penn, but it really was just kissing like another human being, just the beard felt weird.  He said they went all out with tongues and everything.  Howard asked if he always stays in character like Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln and then Howard told the story of the time he’d been on The Larry Sanders Show,  and Garry Shandling had to talk to the staff to see if his character would eat yogurt.  Howard wanted to scream, just eat the fucking yogurt.  James said he’s still friends with Tobey Maguire, who’s making  The Great Gatsby,  now.  They talked about the director of American Beauty.  that he was in Detroit for 6 months filming  Oz the Great and Powerful, and that the dad on Your Highness  is also the dad on  Game of Thrones,   Howard told him the guy who wrote  Pretty Woman was also going to write Fartman at one time.  James Franco was in Freaks and Geeks with Robert Davi, who was in Goonies  and The Profiler  Says he’s a great bad guy, has a severe face, which Robin called acne.  That’s where he met Judd Apatow.  Howard asked if he stayed in character like Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln.  He said he does if he needs to learn an accent.

David Spade was in studio.  He talked about working with Chris Farley in Tommy Boy and Black Sheep.  He said that Chris Farley had been offered Jim Carey role in Cable Guy, but had signed a 2 picture deal so couldn’t do it.  He said Grown Ups was the highest grossing film, so now they made the sequel.  David said that Chris’ movie career hadn’t been going well, as Almost Heroes with Matthew Perry didn’t do very well at the box office.  David also talked about Eddie Murphy being pissed for years about his SNL’s Hollywood Minute joke he did about Eddie Murphy after the movie Harlem Nights bombed, “Look, kids, here’s a falling star!”  He also got booed when he joked about Jim Carey over-acting on Ace Venture, as everyone loved Jim Carey and that movie.  David said that he doesn’t like watching Joe Dirt when it’s on, as it’s not a good one.

Mike Tyson was in studio, and when Ratso, his biographer came in with a beard, they jokingly called him The Bad Seed.  The movie of his one-man show, Undisputed Truth, will be on HBO on Saturday night.  Bobo called in scared because of some medical tests, and Robin said he sounds like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, and they play the “you can act like a man!” from Godfather.  Bill Hader of SNL was in studio.  When Howard asked him about his audition, he asked him if he’d seen A Chorus Line – it depicts the worst audition process. It’s a cold room, the ones you’re auditioning for have seen all the greats and no one laughs.  Bill said he makes good money from voice-overs, and Howard said Shrek‘s Eddie Murphy does the donkey in his basement and makes millions of dollars.  He’s going to be in  The Skeleton Twins with Luke Wilson.  He’s also going to be in The To Do List. Gary brought up My Favorite Year when he was talking about how awkward it is when the writers have to talk to someone else to to relay a message.  Jimmy Kimmel was in studio and said he’d seen the new Star Trek Into Darkness  movie and it’s great.    Eric the Actor’s call was once again underscored by the Mars Attacks! soundtrack.

Jon Hein Tweeted:      Jon Hein (@jonhein)  1/1/14, 11:00 PM   Saw Wolf of Wall Street w/my better half. It’s long, but well worth seeing. And I thought WE were a crazy couple from Long Island.

Ralph Tweeted:  RALPH CIRELLA (@MYGEEKTIME)  12/30/13, 12:44 AM   NO, but I’m in the middle of LONE RANGER and it’s surprisingly good “@KStock98: Ralphie Cakes! Did you see 47 Ronin? It sucked.”

And then from also from JD:  I’ve always liked the show “Eagleheart”, but this third season has been fantastic. Crazy and hilarious.

During the Shuffle, talking about Gary’s audio book.  Fred played 2001 music when talking about Gary’s typing. Talking about his list of what he’d want to listen to on a desert island, Howard wanted to know where he would play the records?  Fred said he’d invent a coconut turntable, and then Robin wondered if they would use the bird’s beak as the needle, like in the Flinstones.

Richard Christy (@cwotd)
1/3/14, 7:56 AM
“@eljefekenney: @cwotd theyre showing the Thing at my local theater in PA tomorrow @colonialtheatre” Lucky! My fav film 2 watch in the snow

RALPH CIRELLA (@MYGEEKTIME)
1/3/14, 12:10 AM
Just caught up on THE GREAT @FrankDarabont ‘s #MOBCITY REALLY GOOD, better and better every ep. and of course GREAT WORK by @jonnybernthal!  & RALPH CIRELLA (@MYGEEKTIME)
1/3/14, 12:03 AM
NOT GR8 on ANY LEVEL #aBITofaSTUMBLE “@Robnite1972: @RobMichaels420 last Thor wasn’t gr8, but in Marvel Universe it’s a gr8 add on…”

JD Tweeted:  JD Harmeyer (@jdharm)  1/4/14, 1:55 PM  Thank you to @jonhein for pushing me to watch the French movie “The Intouchables“. I loved it. Highly recommend.

Week of 12.23.13 – Best of 2013

Thanks for Mark’sFriggin.com ‘s complete rundowns of every show.

Replay of Jerry Seinfeld’s interview when he came in to plug his new series.  Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.  He’s been in the Bee Movie and the series Seinfield, . Howard said that his favorite Seinfeld episodes are when Kramer gets the Merv Griffin set for his living room, when George takes off his bathing suit and reveals his small penis and the masturbation episode. Howard asked if Rosie O’donnell had auditioned for the Elaine part, and Jerry couldn’t remember as there had been so many people that auditioned.  Larry David had left before the final 2 seasons, and Jerry said he probably could have continued the show longer if Larry had stayed, but that it worked out great.  He says he has a great sense of timing with his comedy and life and knew it was time.  He was grateful that Larry left when he did because it gave him the chance to run the entire show by himself for 2 years.  It was crazy but he did it. Howard said it was great that Jerry hired Michael Richards for Kramer, because he had been this crazy comic who was great on the Fridays show, but no one knew how to put that comic genius to work and use his talent correctly.  Jerry said that Michael took that character to the limit and he was great. Howard said another comic who hasn’t had that kind of chance to show his genius in TV or movies is Martin Short, and Jerry said he could have done the Kramer part well, too, but Michael was brilliant.  He talks about making it big, and he enjoys the Shawshank Redemption slog of stand-up.

Robin revealed her battle with cancer, and said she had been unable to watch Breaking Bad during his chemo treatments, as she was going through the same.

Yucko the Clown was on plugging his show Brickleberry on Comedy Central. He was supposed to be on Fox following The Simpsons, but they put on Jonah Hill’s short-lived cartoon Allen Gregory.

William Shatner was in studio, and they talked about Star Trek.  Howard said James Spader is great in The Blacklist, and William said he was always great in Boston Legal and could memorize the lines instantly.

Metallica was in Studio talking about their 3D movie Metallica: Through the Never.

Howard said that his favorite Seinfeld episodes are when Kramer gets the Merv Griffin set for his living room, when George takes off his bathing suit and reveals his small penis and the masturbation episode. Howard asked if Rosie O’Donnell had auditioned for the Elaine part, and Jerry couldn’t remember as there had been so many people that auditioned.  Larry David had left before the final 2 seasons, and Jerry said he probably could have continued the show longer if Larry had stayed, but that it worked out great.  He says he has a great sense of timing with his comedy and life and knew it was time.  He was grateful that Larry left when he did because it gave him the chance to run the entire show by himself for 2 years.  It was crazy but he did it. Howard said it was great that Jerry hired Michael Richards for Kramer, because he had been this crazy comic who was great on the Fridays show, but no one knew how to put that comic genius to work and use his talent correctly.  Jerry said that Michael took that character to the limit and he was great. Howard said another comic who hasn’t had that kind of chance to show his genius in TV or movies is Martin Short, and Jerry said he could have done the Kramer part well, too, but Michael was brilliant.

Jason Bateman was in studio to plug Identity Thief.  Howard hasn’t seen it yet.  They talked about his role in Juno, which he said he had turned it down before his kids talked him into doing it.  They talked about The Switch with Jennifer Aniston. Howard and Robin said that was a funny movie, and Hancock, which Howard said didn’t do well, but Robin said it had done well at the box office.  He asked Jason what it was like kissing Charlize Theron, but he said he was so nervous he couldn’t remember, though when pressed, he did say that he was sure he didn’t have a boner.

Louis CK was in studio, and he talked about auditioning for a Woody Allen movie coming out soon Blue Jasmine.  Howard said he’s a weird guy and talked about Mia Farrow finishing her last movie with him even after they broke up, Husbands and Wives.  Louis said he didn’t get the part he auditioned for, Dice got it.

Quentin Tarantino was on the Shuffle plugging Jackie Brown  He said he had to have Pam Grier for this part. He brought her back from obscurity.  She was the woman he thought of because, growing up, she was cool and hot, in charge and poised.  She’s in her 40’s but looks in her 30’s, which is how he pictured this character.  She has the ability to play it cool. He said that the fact that the money only cost $12 million to make, so there’s no way it’s going to bomb.  He’s off the success of Pulp Fiction  When asked about the use of the “N” word in his movies, he said he went to a movie by a black director, and the dialogue had a white man saying “I’m going to get this African American actor for this part” and he said people don’t talk like that.  He writes like people speak.  Howard asked him about Spike Lee’s criticism of him, and he said that Spike Lee can write the Johnny Cash story, that’s fine.  He’ll watch it and either like it or not; he doesn’t need to go around bad mouthing it.  He said that Spike Lee is also screaming about Amistad; he’s just an angry guy. Howard told him he heard that Donald Trump went into Amistad with a girl hoping for a makeout movie, and after 20 minutes came running out.  Quentin said it was like that Seinfelt episode where they made out during Schindler’s List.  In another segment, Howard said he’s fixated on the Coolio song, Gangster’s Paradise, like the guy in Dangerous Mind.

Robert Carradine and Curtis Armstrong from Revenge of the Nerds were in studio.  Howard asked them if they’d seen Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower, a recent nerd movie.  Howard said them acting in that movie was like Sean Penn doing Fast Times at Ridgemont High, their agents must have told them it would be a horrible movie for them to make if they were serious actors, but for each of them it turned out great.  Curtis Armstrong had also been in Risky Business, which he said was a good movie, and Howard said it was a great movie.  Robert Carradine’s father was John Carradine, who was in some of the greatest movies ever made.  Howard asked him to name some, and he said Stagecoach, Grapes of Wrath and Captains Courageous.  They said Anthony Edwards stopped them from making Revenge of the Nerds III, as he turned it down to do the TV series ER.  Robert Carradine likened his brother David’s death to the movie Argo, the fact that it won’t be solved.  Howard said David’s suicide never made sense, as his career was just revitalized and was taking off after his role in Kill Bill & Kill Bill: Vol 2, so agreed it must have been a homicide.  Howard has made fun of his death for years, as he was found bound like he had been masturbating and practicing auto-erotic asphyxiation.  Robert said there was no way he could have bound himself like that, and there were footprints around his body, so he knows someone else strangled him trying to make it looks like a self-inflicted accident. Lena Dunham was on the phone, and said that Judd Apatow had seen Tiny Furniture, and that’s how she got the job in her TV series Girls.

Alec Baldwin was in studio to plug Blue Jasmine.  He and Howard made fun of Sharknado and the Lone Ranger; said he would have liked to continue 30 Rock, but after Tina’s 2nd baby, she wanted to stop the long hours.  Alec had also worked with Woody in .Alice and To Rome With Love.  Alec says Cate Blanchette was one of the best actresses now.  Howard said he had worked with  Meryl Streep in It’s Complicated, Howard said he liked that movie, but Alec says that was just a romantic comedy.   Alec says Howard’s house is a combination of Xanadu and the opening sequence of Citizen Kane with all the animals. Alec worked with director Adam Shankman on Hairspray and Rock of Ages, but then Howard mentioned The Shadow, and how much he liked that movie, but it tanked.  Alec said he really admired Daniel Day-Lewis with his performances in Lincoln, My Left Foot and The Age of Innocence, and how he handles his personal life.

Mark Wahlberg was in studio to plug his new movie directed by Michael Bay, Pain & Gain.  He’s going to work with him in The Transformers next.  He said he only comes in to plug movies he really believes in.  Last time he was there was for Ted which was so successful they’re working on a sequel now. Says he’s also in Broken City.  Mark said he played a father in Lovely Bones and Howard and Robin said that was a great movie.  Howard was talking about Sling Blade with Billy Bob Thornton, and said When We Were Kings, the story of the Mohammed Ali/George Foreman, was an amazing story.  Mark said he had an agent that was like the one in Broadway Danny Rose and he had asked him to do something a charity that Jerry Sandusky was on the board charity, so now Mark researches everything before he associates himself with it.    Howard said Mia Farrow finished filming Husbands and Wives with Woody Allen after the scandal broke between her daughter and Woody.

JD Harmeyer (@jdharm) Tweeted:  12/23/13, 4:16 PM  “American Hustle” is David O. Russell’s best film yet. My dad even stayed awake through whole thing. No higher praise than that.

Jon Hein (@jonhein) Tweeted:  12/23/13, 3:03 PM  My Top ’13 TV-10 Rectify 9 Veep 8 Justified 7 HouseofCards 6 OrphanBlack 5 GoodWife 4 MadMen 3 BoardwalkEmpire 2 GameofThrones 1 BreakingBad

RALPH CIRELLA (@MYGEEKTIME) Tweeted:  12/23/13, 9:07 PM  Watching TRADING PLACES on AMAZON PRIME…GREAT “not so obvious” CHRISTMAS MOVIE #STRIPuLITTLESHIT #favXMASflicks

RALPH CIRELLA (@MYGEEKTIME) Tweeted:  12/25/13, 3:58 PM  Watching another of my #favXMASflicks, THE REF…GREAT and HIGHLY UNDERRATED @KevinSpacey MOVIE

RALPH CIRELLA (@MYGEEKTIME) Tweeted:  12/25/13, 3:58 PM  Watching another of my #favXMASflicks, THE REF…GREAT and HIGHLY UNDERRATED @KevinSpacey MOVIE

RALPH CIRELLA (@MYGEEKTIME) Tweeted:  12/23/13, 9:07 PM   Watching TRADING PLACES on AMAZON PRIME…GREAT “not so obvious” CHRISTMAS MOVIE #STRIPuLITTLESHIT #favXMASflicks

Jon Hein (@jonhein) Tweeted:  12/23/13, 3:03 PM   My Top ’13 TV-10 Rectify 9 Veep 8 Justified 7 HouseofCards 6 OrphanBlack 5 GoodWife 4 MadMen 3 BoardwalkEmpire 2 GameofThrones 1 BreakingBad

JD Harmeyer (@jdharm)  Tweeted:  12/23/13, 4:16 PM  “American Hustle” is David O. Russell’s best film yet. My dad even stayed awake through whole thing. No higher praise than that.

RALPH CIRELLA ‏ Tweeted”  We’re watching another of my   a PERFECT MOVIE! 

Week of 12.16.13

Howard was talking about the “Getting Grandpa Laid” contest winner who died choking on a steak minutes before he was to get laid, and Robin said it’s like the Final Destination movies.  She said a guy didn’t die in the accident, but he was going to die anyway.  Howard again talks to Richard about he and his wife’s drinking, and Fred says his marriage sounds like Days of Wine and Roses.  Robin said that The Diary of Anne Frank is going to be made into a cartoon for kids, and Howard couldn’t believe it.  Then he remembered that he was the one that came up with the idea for turning Schindler’s List, and they played Sal singing “Greased Lightning” from  Grease about putting Jews into the oven. Fred played the preview for There Will Be Blood 2, based of the conversations about Robin’s heavy menstrual cycle and her mood swings.  They talked about NBC replaying Sound of Music because it got so many viewers, but Howard said it was like Sharknado; everyone could watch to see how bad she really was in it.  Howard said at least she’s cute, but Robin said they put her in these “um-pa-pa” outfits and pinafores and white doilies.  Robin’s news about a woman who tried to find her adopted son only to find out he’d been killed Howard said was like an episode of the Twilight Zone.  Steve Carrell will be in to plug Anchorman 2 and Ben Stiller to plug his Walter Mitty movie later this week.  Robin said the new Hobbit is a fun movie to watch and the dragon is great.  Howard isn’t interested in seeing these movies.

The Golden Globe nominations were announced by a guy who sounded to Howard like a man who is grown but always sounds like a kid with a kid’s voice like the guy in Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, Elijah Wood.  Some movies listed receiving nominations for either best picture, actor/actress or supporting actor/actress:  Savings Mr. Banks, Gravity, Blue Jasmine, Labor Day, Captain Phillips, Rush, American Hustle,. Dallas Buyers Club, Nebraska 12 Years a Slave, When Howard said Robin liked this movie, she said she wouldn’t say she liked the movie, but it’s a movie that everyone should see because it’s part of our history.

When Robin said she read an article about Meryl Streep and how great she is, Howard said that Robin was the greatest actress in her episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  Fred played “Good for you!” from Christian Bale’s outburst at the lighting guy during the Terminator.  Fred and Howard loved the ending of Homeland.  Fred ruined the ending for Howard, sending him a joke about it before Howard was able to watch it.  Howard’s episode of Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Drinking Coffee will air on Feb 6, 2014.  Howard said the season finale on Sons of Anarchy was completely fucking insane.  There are 3 guys left.  They kill everyone and then can’t make a dime.   Robin thinks they’re in trouble now.  She said they introduced a great character, then started writing his character badly, then hung him.  Steve Carrell was the 3rd biggest box office draw for 2013.  The biggest draw was The Rock who used to come on the show before he was Dwayne Johnson.  Robin said he is the biggest box office draw because he was in every movie.  The #2 draw was Robert Downey, Jr. due to the Iron Man movie.  Then all the Fast and Furious guys came in next and then Sandra Bullock because of Gravity(which Howard really wants to see), Jennifer Garner because of Hunger Games  and Billy Chrystal because he did a voice on Monsters University.  Howard wonders if that should count?

Steve Carrel is in studio.  Howard talks to him about his career.  He was in the Dana Carvey Show, Bruce Almighty, Anchorman, The Daily Show, The Office, 40 Year Old Virgin.  Get Smart.  He talked about Mrs. Kravits from Bewitched when they asked him about living next door to Miley Cyrus, and her saying he gives her the stank eye.  He said that’s not true.  Howard wanted to know why they haven’t done Get Smart 2 yet, and he said the script isn’t ready.  Howard said he was smart to stay with the Office even after he was a big movie star.  He had worked with James Gandolfini in The Incredible Burt Wonderstone and was in the process of a making another movie with him when he died.  Steve Buscemi was in that movie, too.  They both think he is great in Boardwalk Empire.  Talking of Anchorman 2  and all the pre-promotion that Will Ferrell’s doing for the movie.  Robin said they’ve been promoting this movie for over a year.  Will Ferrell based this character on an anchorman in Detroit that Howard actually remembers when he was there.  He said they had made a huge billboard with the guy’s face and first name Mort plastered over it.  Turns out Mort meant “death” in French, so the Canadians all freaked out and they had to take it down.  Howard says he loved the first movie.  It was so dumb, and the stupid movies are the best.  Steve said it was good.  They talked about those anchormen of the 70’s and 80’s and how they were all dumb, but were good looking with good hair and could read.  Steve said the sequel is set when news becomes a 24/7 thing, and they had to fill in all that time with no-story stories.  Before he became famous, his wife was on SNL.  He would have loved to get on there, but did end up doing the voice of a Smeigel cartoon of one of the gay ambiguous couple.

Talking about how great Fast Times at Ridgemont High when Sean Penn says he’s gonna fly to Hawaii to catch some waves and then go catch some Stones.  Then they play an actual clip when he’s being interviewed by a newsman, though Howard had thought it was by Ray Walston who’s in My Favorite Martian who played his teacher,  and Spicoli says “me and Mick are going to London and jam with the Stones.”  Howard says they need to do a sequel to see what Spacoli is doing now, but Sean Penn wanted to retire that character. He only does serious stuff now.  Talking about Ronnie’s sex tapes, Fred uses a line from the Exorcist “The power of mistletoe (Christ) compels you!” Caller who won tickets to the birthday bash said she looked like someone from House of Cards, and Howard said he watches that.

Ben Stiller was in studio, and talked about people knowing who he is even in Russia because of the Night at the Museum movies, not There’s Something About Mary.  like Howard thought. He’s in to plug  The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.  Talked about his early career, Ben turned down the offer to direct Goodwill Hunting.  He never read the script, but passed because he was told these 2 unknown guys-kids at that point-were attached to it.  He was talking about getting breaks from people when he was a nobody and getting to watch the making of Streets of Fire and talk to Rick Moranis and he’d been a huge fan of SCTV.  He worked with Speilberg with Empire of the Sun and he would talk to him for hours about directing Jaws.  He wanted to direct, so he quit SNL also because lots of his writings didn’t make it on the air.  He did the Madagascar films with Chris Rock and would have to ad lib with him, and Chris was so good, he’d get depressed.  Ben knew he didn’t want to direct  Zoolander (went over budget and he had to put in his own money), or Tropic Thunder and wanted someone else to direct those two.  He worked with the writer of Pursuit of Happyness, The Weather Man.  on Walter MItty.  Talking about his filmography:  Cable Guy, Flirting with Disaster, Reality BitesMeet the Fockers   Howard said the studios always know a Ben Stiller movie will make money, and Ben said he’s made some that tanked, too  Said There’s Something About Mary didn’t open well, but built by word of mouth. Howard said that  Crockodile Dundee was the last big movie that started slow and built.  Robin said American Beauty did that, too, but Howard said that wasn’t a big blockbuster.  The Robin said Matrix was the same way, too.  Walter Mitty is opening up the same day as The Wolf of Wall Street. Howard asked him about watching his movies with a real audience to see if it gets laughs and redoing it if it doesn’t.  He said you wouldn’t go into 12 Years a Slave like that – it wasn’t made for laughs, but he does do that.  Zoolander didn’t make a bunch of money, but it stands up through time.  Howard said his kids didn’t see it in the theaters, but it’s actually become a “thing.”  They’ve written a script for a sequel, but not sure if they want to make it since the first one was so funny.  Thinking of working with Robert Downey, Jr who approached Ben and wants him to direct him playing Gepetto to a computer generated Pinocchio.  Ben says he portrays the character like a cross between Jake Lamata from Raging Bull and Chico Marx.

Robin talking of all the people we’ve lost in 2013, and Howard said he’s on the 3rd day of trying to watch Fast and Furious 6 – it’s such a shitty movie.  Paul Walker should have stayed home and put cream on his face to protect it.  Fred originally was going to play the 2001 music with farts behind the list of those who’ve died.  James Gandolfini from the Sopranos died, as did Edith, Jean Stapleton, from All in the Family and Annette Funicello who was in all those beach movies like Bikini Beach with Frankie Avalon.  Robin’s news about Russia, and Howard said he felt bad for Ben Stiller going to Russia to promote his film.  They all talk like Klingons from Star Trek and are backwards like the Klingons are, too.  Hanzi called in with his conspiracy theories, and Gary said he’s like the Matrix where he’s the only guy who knows what’s going on.

On the Wrap Up Show, Gary said he loves Steve Carrel’s movie Crazy, Stupid Love.  Jason said The Ben Stiller Show was the best sketch show ever, and had the most funny people on it, except for Janeane Garofalo.  Jason also says that the Ben Stiller directed Cable Guy stands the test of time.  Benji referenced Risky Business out of nowhere to try to remember Wally George as an old rapper.  Jason said Ben’s dad, Jerry Stiller of Stiller and Merea, was the dad in Seinfeld, and then on King of Queens, and Jason says he’s always great.

The Shuffle replayed when Mitch Hedberg was in studio talking about Oliver Stone’s dad taking him to a prostitute to lose his virginity.  Howard said that actually was creepy; he remembers seeing Barbarella in the theater with his Dad and being freaked out thinking that his dad was probably aroused.  Heidi Fleiss’ interview when Tom Sizemore from Black Hawk Down called in was played.

Ralph tweeted:  Even though it’s not based on a comic book when thinking about the GREATEST SUPERHERO MOVIES, U MUST consider ROBOCOP #illBUYthatFORAdollar

Week of 12.9.13

Howard started the week of saying he and Beth got a private screening of his friend’s Peter Berg’s new movie Lone Survivor who also did Friday Night Lights.  It’s about some Navy Seals in Afghanistan who run across some goatherders.  They let them go even though they know they have ties with the Taliban and then all the Seals ended up dead except one.  But they had a code to not interfere with civilians and couldn’t kill them.  Mark Wahlberg plays the sole survivor that runs into this village where their code was that anyone that came into their village must be welcomed into the village and then protected.  Howard said he highly recommend it, that it was a beautiful story.  He said the violence is so realistic, and that Hollywood can glam up the violence, but this is really realistic.  He said the best way to see a screening is to be friends with the director and see it in a private screening with comfortable seats and no people.  Howard says if there are no annoying people in the theater, he’ll be sure to give the movie a good review.  It comes out Jan 10.  He thinks it will be a smash.  They want to release it in limited release so it’s in time for Oscar nominations.
Robin said she saw Dallas Buyers Club, which was released early as well because to be eligible for the Screen Actors Guild awards.  She says that Matthew McConaughay is actually acting now.  He used to just run around with his shirt off and now he can act.
Gary watched the live broadcast of Sound of Music with Carry Underwood.  Says she can’t act, but she sure can sing. Howard says girl’s got star power.  It had over 18 million viewers.  Howard said this had one of the best soundtracks, too, and sings all the songs.  Gary watched the whole thing because it was live TV.  She’s horrendous – very wooden, but is an amazing singer.  He says not only are the songs great, but in the stage production they do the same great songs over and over, like Do a deer, Climb Every Mountain at least 3 times. . Then Howard says he would like to perform them for us.  Robin said “That’s when they knew how to write music.”  The guy from True Blood was the male lead and he was horrible as well.  Said he was like on Broadway, where he’d take a step forward whenever it was his turn to speak or sing and move his arms and look at the audience.  Carrie Underwood went on Twitter to reply to all the harsh criticism and said that mean people need Jesus.
Talking about Nelson Mandela’s death, and a caller into a California talk show that thought that Nelson Mandala also was an accomplished actor, and had been in Shawshank Redemption, and the host told her that that was actually Morgan Freeman who played Mandala in the movie Invictus.  The caller was embarrassed and hung up.  Howard said that Invictus was a great story about his life.  Howard can’t believe the guy spent 47 years of his life in prison all because he stood by his principles, he would have crumbled immediately.
Howard announced that John Goodman will be in studio.  Robin asked the John Goodman of Roseanne? and Howard said of movies, too, and asked Robin to name some of his movies and all Robin could remember was The Big Lebowski, then said he was good in Damages, and some other movie called something about The King Something-was King Ralph?  When he came in after the break, they talked about his auditioning for SNL.not getting it, and he’s hosting this week.   He said he wished he could do The Babe Ruth over.  Thought he didn’t do enough research and give it enough time.  His first movie was True Stories then he got Raising Arizona.  He loves the Big Lebowski.  He doesn’t make any money on the merchandising, but he watches and still loves it.  When Dan Akroyd asked him to be in the  Blues Brothers , he thought he could never replace John Belushi.  Dan told him he wasn’t there to replace him, so he had fun and just liked to hang with the band.  He idolized Belushi.  Said he wanted to drink after watching Animal House.  He was 26 when he started drinking, and became an alcoholic right away.  He’s in the new Coen Brothers’  Inside Llewyn Davis .  Howard asked if they are weird and John said they’re regular guys.  Said Billy Crystal had the idea that he and John would be in the room together while they were doing the voice over for Monsters inc  .  He said the movie wasn’t fun to make, as you have to read the lines over and over and never know which one will actually make it into the movie.  He did it because he would always watch cartoons with his daughter.  He thought it would be cool to be in one for her.  John was also in  Argo, He didn’t go to the Oscars when it won Best Picture.  Howard asked John Goodman about doing TV because it’s so good now, with shows like Homeland and Breaking Bad.  He said he is doing TV.  Garry Trudeau wrote the TV show he’s doing now, Alpha House  Some of Richard’s faaaaaavorite John Goodman movies, besides Big Lebowski, were C.H.U.D. Revenge of the Nerds.  Howard didn’t remember him in that, but John said he played a football coach.  He and Howard both said that was a good movie.  John said he did the Flinstones for the money.  He was doing a movie with Steven Speilberg, and one day he stopped and said he needed to make an announcement that he had found his Fred Flinstone.  He doesn’t mind saying lines from Big Lebowski, but doesn’t like it when he’s asked to say “Yaba Daba Doo!”  He’s been in two Oscar winners, Argo and the Artist.  Jason said he saw the Big Lebowski with Richard and he brought an entire bar with him.  John Goodman can relate to that.  Richard asked John to say “Larry, That’s what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass.” JD got mad that that’s the line he asked him to say, but then Jason came in and said it was his suggestion.

Howard saw the first few episodes of Mob City, from the guy who did Walking Dead and it’s really good.  He likes anything to do with the mob.  Blue Jasmine won an award, and Frozen was #1 at the box office.  Hunger Games #2, Thor next, and Delivery Man was #5.

Howard was talking about Mandela’s death, and said that he’s surprised so many Africans dress like Americans.  He was expecting them to all look like King Joffre Jeffers from Coming to America who dresses with a big lion head competing with his head and are wearing skins.  He wants to see the ladies dressed like in the movie and  with the neck rings and have everything look like the Lion King.  Howard said after the success of the live Sound of Music, NBC asked him to do South Pacific, but Scott and Gary weren’t ready with the music.  Howard sang Maria from West Side Story to a woman who got tickets to the birthday show who has cancer.  Howard talked to Eric about his angry responses to Twitter; one of them said he had played the feet in the Wizard of Oz.  Eric said he didn’t respond to that one.  Wolfie interviewed George Takei about William Shatner prospering, but not living long, from Star Trek.
On the WUS, Gary said that Dice was really good in Blue Jasmine, and that the movie is excellent.  Jon said that Cate Blanchette is getting nominated for her performance.

During the news, Robin was doing a story about the real-life guy in 127 Hours getting arrested for beating his girlfriend.  Howard was amazed he could do that with his one good arm.  Howard said the Jimmy Hendrix documentary found a way to make him boring.

Howard said his school was like Lord of the Flies, with kids out of control.  He talked about some girls he went to school with that were worse than Precious.  Howard said the new movie Saving Mr. Banks about the making of the Disney film, Mary Poppins,  sounds like the most boring movie ever-who wonders who green lit this one?  Then he was surprised to learn that it was actually a Disney movie.  He thinks Emma Thompson sounds like the most boring woman-he’d never hire her to do the PR for any movie. Says that Disney must be rolling over in his grave.
Ralph tweeted that “Chasing NJ” is the worst show ever.

Wrap-Up Show, Richard Christy said the movie that made him want to drink is Bad Santa, even though it doesn’t show drinking in the best light.  But he has to drink watching that movie.  Talking about other John Goodman films, Richard loves the Hudsucker Proxy.  When asked what other actors are his “faaaavorite”, that he would like to meet, Richard says Tom Atkins and the woman who dated Woody Allen.  They were in Halloween Season of the Witch and Fog.  Steven Van Zandt stopped by the WUS and they talked about his NetFlix show Lilihammer.

@JasonKapFanClub tweeted:  @Siriusjay Fun Fact:  Loves John Goodman esp. in King Ralph, The Man Who Wasn’t There, Hudsucker Proxy, & Big Lebowski (not in order) #wrapup.  Later Jason tweeted:  Jason tweeted:  Wife and I rewatched one of our Faaavorit movies this weekend:  “Falling Down“! A+!

Jay Thomas said he loved Dallas Buyer’s Club.  It’s a true story from Texas and is fantastic.  He liked Gravity, but his wife and neighbors didn’t.  They wondered why they made her hot, but Jay said she’s an astronaut, so she’s in good shape.  George Clooney’s making jokes in space, so it’s like he’s bombing with no noise.  Jay thought he was watching Robert Redford’s movie, but got Lone Survivor instead..  He turned it off after 30 minutes.  He kept waiting for Robert Redford to turn up.  He said they made the first part real lovey-dovey with all the men talking about how much they love their girlfriends only so when guys can take their dates.  He turned it off.  Then he saw the Robert Redford one, which was All Is Lost.  Didn’t like that one, either.  Then he saw Inside Llewyn Davis and thought that was a piece of shit, too.  It’s about folk singing in 1961, and they played each song in its entirety, unlike Once, which was a great movie and they only played the one song once.

GEEKTIME! mentions

Cloud Atlas

American Horror Story
Grey’s Anatomy – doesn’t like
House of Cards
Wonder Woman – they ignored Ralph’s input for actress
Walking Dead
Blacklist
Godzilla – trailer looks great
Huntsman – coolest trailer and not a good movie
Agents of Shield
Arrow
Castle – geekiest show on TV
Almost Human
Sinister 6
Venom
Avengers
Star Trek 3  May of 2016

Terminator Genesis

Zero Dark 30

Grim

Sleepy Hollow

Elf

Week of 12.2.13

Show starts with story of Paul Walker’s death from Fast and the Furious.  Howard said he saw the first one, and and he couldn’t get through it, and he’s an idiot, and he understands there are 7 of them.  Robin read a list of his movies.  Howard said Varsity Blues he liked, but Robin said that wasn’t a Paul Walker film.  Howard said the New York Times had a cruel obituary, saying that he’d gotten the role in the movie only because he was good-looking.  Then Eric the Actor called in and Howard said hey, Eric, now there’s an opening in the Fast and Furious movies for you.  They wondered how they were going to finish Fast & Furious 7, which they were working on now.  Howard said they could portray Paul Walker as a cartoon, but then said they could do what they did when the guy from The Crow died and they finished the movie without him.  Robin said she saw the Jimmy Hendrix documentary and it’s very sad.  Howard said he’s halfway through it.  Robin said Howard needs to see Contracted.  Robin said it’s really, really good, so Howard said he’d watch it, as long as it’s not all about contracting a disease.  Robin said she’s excited to see a movie she’s heard nothing about and really liked it.  A called said later that the movie got horrible reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and Robin said she didn’t like that site, and can’t trust their reviews or the fans’ comments about movies.  She stands by her opinion that it’s a really good movie.  Talking about his appearance on David Letterman last week and David wondering about Howard hanging around with Jimmy Kimmel, and Howard saying that his fans don’t want them to have friends and be happy, but he decided he needed friends.  Robin said that he needed someone to cry when his car crashes, referencing to co-star Tyrese on film driving to the scene of Paul Walker’s place of death and crying hysterically.

Howard was wondering why Jennifer Lawrence is so big now, because the Hunger Games movies are terrible.  Gary said he liked the books, but Howard said he couldn’t get through the first movie.  Robin said, give me a gun so I don’t have to sit through the rest of it.  She said they’re filmed like reading a book.  Howard and Robin really liked the new Wolverine movie. Robin said “this one I liked” (when the movie was released, she’d originally said she was disappointed) .  Howard said it can go horribly wrong when a superhero gives away or loses his powers, but this one was really good.  Howard said he’s always wary when a superhero wants to take away his powers, like this one and in  Superman.   Or when a woman looses her looks, like Janice Dickenson. And Hugh Jackman is fucking ripped.  Howard was told it’s because he eats chicken, and Howard said he used to eat a ton of chicken and never looked like that. Howard said Lady Gaga was criticized for doing a Muppet special scantily clad.  Howard said she was wearing a bottomless outfit, and the Muppets were wearing…nothing?  He said he might actually watch a Muppet special now.  King of All Blacks called in and said Howard needs to see  Croods  Says it’s really good.  As usual, he had to say it repeatedly, because no one could understand him.  He finally spelled it out.  Robin knew it was an animated movie, but Howard never understood the name.  Fred played a voice mail from Richard’s dad about their chickens, and Richard said it’s like Babe.

Howard was with Beth last night, so didn’t get to watch Walking Dead.so instead watched Dr. Phil who had on Anna Benson, the ex-stripper, ex-wife of the baseball player who offered to sleep with the entire team.  Howard said she was way out there and Dr. Phil said all he wanted to do was make her well, and Robin added “after I’ve exploited you.”  Maria Bello, who was in A History of Violence, Coyote Ugly and Thank You For Smoking came out saying she’s been in a long-term relationship with a woman.  She’s also had long-term relationships with a man, so she wrote an article saying why should who I have sex with define who I am? that Howard thought was really great.

Talking about Bobo’s penile procedure, Robin said they really need the medical advances like the Tricorder in Star Trek  for these diagnostic procedures.   They were talking to Richard about his drinking and his marriage, and Robin said it was like The Days of Wine and Roses.  Howard said Sunday’s Walking Dead was a really great mid-season finale.  He said the last 3 had been good.  He thought it was a great idea to go into the Governor’s camp with a whole other story line.  Fred played a mash-up with Breaking Bad and Beetlejuice.   Kirstie Alley was in studio and Howard said he loved her new show, Kirstie.  He’d seen the first 2 episodes. Ralph called in and said it was good, too.  It has  Michael Richards from Seinfeld and Fridays which Howard loved, and Rhea Perlman from Cheers.  When she got the role in Cheers, she’d just finished making Shoot to Kill with Sidney Poitier.  She talked about being in love with both Patrick Swayze during the making of North & South and then John Travolta during Look Who’s Talking, Too.  When talking about her struggle with weight, Howard asked her about the Precious star, that there really are no roles for overweight actresses, and Kirstie didn’t even know who she was, making Howard’s point.  Robin likes the Steven Van Zandt show Lilliehammer.  She was trying to describe it as an ex-mob guy starting a new life, and Howard said is it that a tiger can’t change its stripes and she said yes. Howard talking about Steve Martin and his banjo playing and said the only time a banjo playing was appropriate was doing a male on male rape scene in a movie, like in Deliverance.  Shuli had tape of his talking to Underdog Lady and Howard said she was falling in love with Shuli.  Shuli said if they ever did get together, it would probably turn out like Misery.

Image by Doc Ivan

Image by Doc Ivan

On the Wrap-Up Show, Gary said his favorite line in Elf was in a scene recommending a pizza shop,  Richard said he went to see Drag Me To Hell and some family brought a small baby who baby cried through the whole thing and especially every time it got loud.  During a fight with Benji, Gary quoted from the West Wing; I serve at the pleasure of the president.  Jason said the best sit com now is on HBO Ja’mie.  Says it’s hilarious.  The @jasonkaplanfanclub reminded Jason & I that Jason also said on the Wrap-Up Show that Seinfeld was the greatest sitcom of all time.

Jason tweeted: Every week I think no way Sons of Anarchy can get crazier than the last. And this season I’m always wrong. Great stuff!

JD tweeted:  Danish film “A Hijacking” is a Must See…even if you’ve seen “Captain Phillips“.

Week of 11.25.13

Thanks to Mark’s Friggin, as much of this week’s info is from his site:

From 1998:  Mulan   did great at the box office.  Howard said Disney is the only one who can do good cartoons.  The one guy from Disney who said he was responsible for bringing back the great cartoons left, and they’re still doing great cartoon movies, so what does that tell you?  Anastasia, not a Disney cartoon, bombed last year.

Howard said he’s like the Elephant Man when he was talking about liking your own smells and looks.  He says he loves the Michael Douglas movie Falling Down.  This movie is also referenced again on Wednesday’s Wrap Up Show.

A caller called in to say Dirty Work was awful and got awful reviews.  Howard says he loves Norm, but this movie looks like it tanks.  Says he talked to Ivan Reitman when he was making Dave and offered him a cameo interviewing Dave. He turned it down, saying he’s no cameo!

Lisa Kudrow was on phone plugging her film The Opposite of Sex.  David Duchovny was in to promote the new X-Files movie.

Pat Cooper was in studio.  He’s doing Analyze This with Robert De Niro and said he’s the nicest guy.  He’s also in Code of Ethics and Recipe for Disaster.

A caller asked Artie if he’d written Dirty Work, as there is this one funny scene.  Artie said he only acted in it.  Bob Crane’s son was on the phone complaining about the movie Auto Focus made about his dad being a pervert.  He says he was, but not as bad as this movie says.  After he hung up, Howard wondered how the series Bob Crane was famous for,  Hogan’s Heroes , ever got made, a TV sitcom about bumbling Nazis.  Howard said it was produced by Bing Crosby’s production company.  Jerry Springer was on the phone talking about his series and all the fights that are on his show.

The news, Robin played an interview with Ralph Fiennes and Anthony Hopkins plugging Red Dragon.  Ralph Fiennes talked about getting into shape working with the same guy that helped Tom Hanks in Cast Away.  Artie said he hates Ralph Fiennes because he pronounces his name Raaaph, not Ralph.

Michael Buffer called in and said Cinderella Man was the best boxing film ever. up there with Raging Bull.  He didn’t really like Million Dollar Baby or The Contender.  Howard, Robin and Artie agreed that Cinderella Man is not only a great boxing movie, but a great movie.  Robin said it takes you through all the emotions and Russell Crowe should get the Academy Award for it.  Michael said it might hurt that last year Million Dollar Baby won all the awards, and having another boxing movie the next year might hurt its chances for getting an award.  Talking about Ronnie and not seeing a friend’s grandson, Artie does a scene from the Godfather.

The bonus feature of caller Juavier’s announcement of it being Eric the Midget’s 10 year anniversary of calling into the show, and Fred played the Mars Attacks! music.  Anthony Hopkins was on the phone and said he saw Magic recently after 28 years and said it was really good.  Robin says she’ll have to rent it again.  Howard played Anna Nicole Smith outtakes from the movie Skyscraper.

There was a guy off screen reading her lines to her and she still couldn’t get them right.  Howard said the American Taliban guy said he saw the Spike Lee movie Malcolm X and now Howard knows it’s all Spike Lee’s fault.  He says no black people go to see these movies, just crazy white guys.  On Robin’s news, Reese Witherspoon is being interviewed about her movie Sweet Home Alabama.  Howard said she’s America’s sweetheart, and that’s the only way this movie could have been number one at the box office last weekend.  He says it’s such a nutty premise, that this beautiful successful lawyer from the big city would decide to come home and marry this country Matthew (Jethro) Bodine-type guy.  But America loves her, and go to see her awful movies.

JD tweeted that the Golden Globes deciding that Scarlett Johansson wasn’t eligible for an award for her performance in Her “is bullshit.”

Ralph Tweeted that Red 2 sucks and that he loves the show Castle.

Director Amy Heckerling’s nanny called in to complain about Gilbert Gottfried’s inappropriate Holocaust jokes.  Howard said she’s a great director.  She did Clueless and Fast Times At Ridgemont High.  Then he asked what movie Gilbert did with her, and he said Look Who’s Talking 2, and Howard said he had thought she was a great director.  Gilbert also broke into his Dracula impression.  Howard talked about beating off to Anne Francis in Honey West when he was a kid.

Shuli tweeted:  Just finished watching Mark Walberg in Broken City & here’s my review… it’s no Apollo 13.

GEEKTIME! 11.29 is a rerun of the Breaking Bad Finale show.

JD tweeted:  German film “The Wall” about a woman isolated from the world by an invisible wall:  show pace but very good.  Highly recommend.  and then Tweeted:  Power watched first season of “Hello Ladies“…loved it.

Ralph tweeted that Almost Human is a GREAT SHOW.

Steve Brandano tweeted:  Every person who calls Dexter their favorite show should be forced to watch Luther.

Jason Kaplan tweeted:  Finally saw the 1st Hunger Games.  Biggest takeaway?  Value your food so you don’t end up pining over the guy who rolled your bread in mud.

 

Week of 11.18.13

Howard and Robin both saw part of the Mike Tyson Undisputed Truth and thought it was really good.  Said that Mike looks really comfortable in front of a crowd.  Howard liked The Walking Dead last night.  Howard watches Homeland because it’s over at 9:15 so he can then watch his T-VO’d Walking Dead all the way through and skip commercials. Said all seasons have been good; Robin said not all. He saw Sons of Anarchy, but not Boardwalk Empire yet, which Robin said was great.    Howard was sent a movie by the studios that hasn’t been released yet.  He watched it and said it was a great movie with Jason Stratham and Chuck Zito, Homefront. Said they spent the entire time killing each other and it was great.  He doesn’t remember Kate Bosworth in it, but says that Wynona Ryder still looks great.  He says he loves all of Sylvester Stallone’s stuff.  Robin said not all are good, remember Escape Plan with Arnold is so dark, but Howard says he loves all of Sylvester’s shit, and maybe it’s ok that that one was done in the dark.  Doing a story about Selena Gomez telling reporters they can’t ask her about Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus.  Howard said there was nothing else they could ask her about-maybe ask her if she’s related to Gomez from the Adams’ Family.  Eric the Actor’s call was once again underscored by the Mars Attacks! soundtrack.  Talking about the tornado over the weekend, Howard wondered why it wasn’t a Sharknado?

Howard goofing on Gary, saying that giving Fred and Al Rosenberg the job of interviewing for the job of producer was like the 3 Stooges.   He also said that Gary overcame great obstacles, because he didn’t like him the first time he looked at him.  Gary said it was like The Elephant Man overcame his looks to be a great man.  Howard announced he’s going to be doing AGT again next year, and he’s going to be doing Letterman this week.  Howard said he watched an old movie on Hulu Plus, Notting Hill, with the guy who was with a hooker (Hugh Grant) falls in love with Julia Roberts and he loved it.  While goofing on Scott the Engineer, the “Scott!” scream is played from Austin Powers.   Wednesday’s show opened with that clip from Carnal Knowledge of Jack Nicolson yelling at Ann-Margret to get a job, or to try vacuuming.  Sarah Silverman was in studio and talked about her nude scene with Michele Williams in Take This Waltz.  She also talked about a movie she made, but wouldn’t say which one, where there was a simulated sex scene, and the guy’s erect penis kept punching her vagina, and she was really sore afterwards.  She was surprised and hurt that no one had thought to protect her.  She and Howard both said they liked the Cosby Show.  More talk of the remake of Thing With 2 Heads.

On Friday’s live Wrap-Up Show, Richard quotes from Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

Jon Hein tweeted:  Catching Fire: Better than the first. A bit slow and too long. Book is better, but it doesn’t have Jennifer Lawrence who is captivating.

Image by Tom Adelsbach

Image by Tom Adelsbach

Image by Tom Adelsbach

Image by Tom Adelsbach

 

Week of 11.11.13

Howard breaks into his “Karloff?” from Ed Wood.  Fred plays music from Mars Attacks! for Eric the Actor., who’s still mad at being offered a guest role in Eric Andre ‘s talk show because he thinks it’s idiotic.  Jason says it’s really funny. Robin says the new Frankenstein movie is going to have a good looking monster.  Aaron Eckhart is going to be playing him.  Howard says that makes about as much sense as The Thing With 2 Heads.  He says that’s crazy-maybe he’s playing Franken-STEEN from Young Frankenstein.  Robin says he’s going to be like an Avenger, a crime fighter.    Howard says now there are too many zombies with the movies and Walking Dead.  He says even Rob Zombie wants to change his name now.

The guy from Sons of Anarchy was in along with his wife.  Howard and Fred love the show.  They talked about him getting his start in the Punisher movies and Hooligans and The Shield.  Howard asked him why he’d been critical of Mad Men, but then got sidetracked and never got an answer.  He has a fear of dolls, which Howard does, too.  He says it’s from the Twilight Zone Talking Tina, and he agrees.  He said the people from Sons of Anarchy should beat up on the cast of Glee at the Emmy’s.  Howard couldn’t believe Kurt Sutter would put his wife in bed with all these great looking guys without getting jealous, plus she’s raped and beaten in the series.  He wonders how he can stand it.  Katey says they can separate fiction from real life pretty easily.  He says they look like the happiest couples in Hollywood.

Howard’s glad video stores are closing down.  That way no one ever has to see him rent She’s All That.  Howard saw Thor and said he didn’t love it.  Couldn’t understand why the bad guys were pissed off.  Robin said this Thor was better than the first.  Robin said 12 Years a Slave is a great movie, but that Brad Pitt needs to talk to her about his career.  He plays the nicest white guy in the movie.  She says it’s an incredible educational movie.  Fred played a fake movie premier of Scarface with Al Pacino and Maria Menounos, with her laugh being the machine gun.

The Stern Show Shuffle:  Jonah Falcon with the 14 inch penis came in for George Takei’s bachelor party. He’s a big fan, but says he likes The Next Generation better than Star Trek and doesn’t like Enterprise.  Robin said no one likes that one.  He sings a song to George that Gonzo sings in The Muppet Movie.  He said he’s been in lots of movies; played the best man in Just My Luck.  When Howard’s talking about his prostate exam, Fred plays music from Gone With The Wind.

Howard played a clip from a beautiful girl actress from Friday Night Lights on the Mike and Kelly talk show, and even with a prepped story, she still couldn’t be interesting.  Mike Tyson was in studio, and when Ratso, his biographer came in with a beard, they jokingly called him The Bad Seed.  The movie of his one-man show, Undisputed Truth, will be on HBO on Saturday night.  Bobo called in scared because of some medical tests, and Robin said he sounds like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, and they play the “you can act like a man!” from Godfather.

This Day In Howard History:  Larry Pierce was in studio to plug his new movie, Dirty Country.

Week of 11.4.13

Richard Christy talked about watching an all-night marathon of horror movies on Halloween.  He said Fright Night was his faaaavorite.  He also saw American Werewolf in London, Burn Witch Burn (this one he fell asleep, said it was really bad)

My Fair Lady was one of the answers in the Win Fred’s Money game that Fred played against the Beast from the new game show The Chase..  The Beast is from England and hasn’t seen a lot of USA TV, but he’s been watching Boardwalk Empire, which they have another version in England.  He watches Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad, West Wing and couldn’t really get into Walking Dead.  After just losing by seconds, Howard says Fred’s not stupid, he’s smart, a reference from Godfather.  More talk about Howard and George Takei starring in the remake of The Thing With 2 Heads to be directed by JJ Abrams, because he did such a great job on Star Trek. 

image by Doc Ivan

image by Doc Ivan

Howard read from a guy’s blog whose pen name is a character from  Fight Club.  Gary came in and asked if Howard knew who this character was, which made Howard furious.  He says he always asks him something when he feels real smug because he knows the answer.  “Do you know…”  Howard said he just found out that information and wants to show off his knowledge.  He then asked Gary in his Gary voice if he knew which character Brad Pitt played in Thelma and Louise, Benjamin Button Money Ball and Troy?  Fred plays music from 2001: A Space Odyssey.   Last weekend,  Bad Grandpa was bumped off top of boxoffice by Ender’s Game.  Robin said it’s science fiction, so Howard will like it.  Howard said he was watching Tavis Smiley interviewing Robbie Robertson from The Band.  He was also watching Walking Dead and Homeland, and discussing if he should do AGT again next year. While goofing on Scott the Engineer, Howard and Robin broke into song from The Wizard of Oz

Robin said there are some great belly laughs in Bad Grandpa.  She loved the farting scene and male dancers.  She said Magic Mike has nothing on this one.  Howard said it was really funny, too.  India has launched a rocket to Mars, and Howard talked about how Man always screws it up.  We never did listen to Star Trek‘s Prime Directive; we always interfered.  He said maybe India was looking for better air up on Mars, because India’s such a shit hole and smells.  Reminds Robin of her trip to India where she got off the plane after traveling for days, looked around and got back on.  Says watching Slumdog Millionaire was all he needed to know about India, and he would never go there.

Howard said he talks to himself while he’s taking a shit, and sounds like Boardwalk Empire.  Reading personals from the paper, a man looking for a woman with a large labia. While Howard is talking about how sick people are, Fred plays a clip of Dennis Hopper from Blue Velvet.

Howard said he ran into , on his way out yesterday and didn’t know who he was at first.  Says he loves his movies, especially Pacific Rim and Hell Boy.  Robin loves his Pan’s Labyrinth.  Fred said supposedly he was to have been the director of The Hobbit, and Fred said he would have loved to see his vision of the movie.  Thor: The Dark Lord comes out this weekend, and Howard said that this will be an all nerds weekend, calling for a Nerd Alert from Austin Powers.  Call of Duty Game is also coming out, so Howard said if Robin wants to get laid by a nerd this weekend, they’ll all be tied up.  After a Fred and Benjy fight, Robin wonders how millions could get along at Woodstock, but not in their studio.  Howard says Riley Martin sounds like the old Amos ‘n Andy and Foghorn Leghorn from Looney Tunes.

Ralph tweeted during the mall shooting that he really loves Blacklist, and wishes they would stop interrupting the show for useless no-information updates.  He also tweeted that he loves  Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  Still loves Fringe and says fans of GEEKTIME! saved the show for more seasons.

Shuffle, They were talking about Jackie sitting naked eating.  He had lost weight on Nutrisystems and was down to 180 and had to keep it down to get paid.  He had given himself 2 enemas, but was porking his food, naked like a scene in  Caligula in Vegas.  They sent back food, and Howard says after watching Road Trip, he would never send food back, as they showed the cook putting the French toast down his pants.  Eric the Actor turned down a role on Eric & Andre, as he thinks the host is an idiot.  He was interviewing someone and kept eating the whole time.  Robin and Howard think Thor is the worst franchise in the Marvel universe.

Ralph tweeted that he liked Blueblood, and a gay poster of Thor.  He still maintains any remake of Robocop is blasphemy.   Ralph says the new Dracula looks horrible.  He really like Shark Tank.  Steve Brandano tweeted a picture of Downton Abby with mice, called Mouseton Abby.  JD stayed home Saturday night and watched Monsters Inc.

10.28.13

Hal Needham died over the weekend.  Howard said he was Burt Reynolds’ stuntman for years and then approached Burt and asked if he could direct, and Burt said sure. He was highly paid and friends with Burt, who was dating Sally Fields at the time.  He directed Smokey and the Bandit.  There wasn’t even a full script.  He said to them “just drive around in a car and we’ll have stunts and crashes.” It was the biggest piece of shit on the planet, but made a ton of money, about $132 million dollars back then when that was a money and was a huge hit that spawned sequel after sequel.  It made so much money that Hal took out a full page ad with a picture of himself smiling with a wheelbarrow full of money next to all of the reviewers bad comments about the movie–speaking of a Fuck You!  The 3rd movie didn’t have Burt Reynolds, so didn’t do as well.  But then he went and did the Cannonball Run movies.  Howard said he has never seen either of those movies, and Robin said she hasn’t either.  Howard said the audience for these movies are the grownup Honey Boo Boos.  He said no Northerner went to see Smokey; nobody with any intellectual ability-and Robin said they’re like the Tea Partiers.  Howard says anyone who’s seen those movies aren’t normal.  They’re all listening to Sarah Palin and thinking she’d be a good president.  It’s talking to that fucking audience.  Later on the Wrap-Up Show, Gary and Jon said they’d liked those movies.

After opening weekend of Bad Grandpa, it was #1 at the box office, making close to what the studio predicted by their tracking.  Made Howard wonder how a studio would react if they were presented with a movie like Casino, a well-crafted story with good acting.  It wouldn’t track well if they asked audiences if they’d go to see a movie about gangsters running a casino, because now all movies are all action.   Crazy that a studio says they know how much money a movie’s going to make before it’s ever released.  A caller, Claire, said that he thought the movie wasn’t that funny.  He saw it in a theater, and he thought the bystanders’ reactions to some of the stunts looked kind of staged and seemed flat.  Howard agreed.  He said the audience he went with really wanted to laugh, but didn’t.

Howard said after last week talking about remaking The Thing With 2 Heads he got a ton of mail.  He said JJ Abrams wrote him 4 e-mails saying he’s in.  Fans said Refrigerator Perry is too short, he needs to make it with either Charles Barkley or Shaq.  Fred played a gag movie trailer of Howard with Leon Spinks in the role.  Later, Howard said the other guy should be George Takei.  In Robin’s news, musician Noel Harrison, son of Rex, died.  He did a cover of Windmills of Your Mind, which was in the Thomas Crown Affair. Howard said he remembered it was romantic, the camera was spinning, and the song was played during a really romantic moment between Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway.  Howard said Noel talked his song like his dad did in all his movies, like Dr. Doolittle. and like they all do on Broadway.  He said Robert Goulet did it in Camelot. Robin said that Robert Goulet could sing; it was the other guy who talked in the movie version (Richard Harris) that talked through the singing.  Howard says it was Robert Goulet talking the title song. Marcia Wallace also died over the weekend.  Robin said she played the receptionist on The Bob Newhart Show.

Howard said that Sam Simon told him to watch Blackfish, the documentary about the killer whale who has killed 3 people while he’s been in captivity.  Sam says it shows how these animals are basically going crazy being in these pools instead of the ocean where they belong.  He said that Sam sometimes uses his money to buy a circus or water park and then sets the animals free or finds them more suitable, less cruel homes.  On Robin’s news, she announced Marilyn Manson would be the voice of a shadow on the network TV program Once Upon a Time.

Fred plays the Dracula music when Howard is talking about Benjy staring at him.  Talking about Sal’s knowledge, Howard compared it to Drunk History.  Howard says he wants to be in a band so bad.  He watches that Metallica movie and goes crazy, he wants to be in a band so bad.

A mother called wanting her Down’s Syndrome daughter compete with Sal in a history contest.  The mother described herself as looking like a hot Jody Foster.  Howard said it was weird how hot Jody Foster was in the movie Nell.  Howard said Liam Neesson finds this woman living in the jungle but she was so hot so you didn’t care.  Talking about Scott the Engineer, the “Scott!” yell from Austin Powers, and the “I try to think, but nothing happens!” from the 3 Stooges are played, as is the Mars Attacks! for Eric.  The hot girl from Entourage was on Jimmy Fallon and trying to tell a fully story about hating hockey and being from Canada.  Gary said he hates her now.  Howard says she’s a hot girl who think she’s fascinating, but is truly annoying.  Robin said that was like Farrah Faucet, when people thought she was whacky, but Robin said she was always whacky, it was just after she was older and not hot that people started to listen to what she was actually saying that they thought she was whacky.  Fred played a fake promo for a new movie starring Robin’s Captain (Phillips) Dennis. She screaming at him why hasn’t  Breaking Bad been T’VO’d?

Fred played the Twinkling Bells music for Robin’s news, and discussed if this was from The Exorcist, Scream, Halloween, or Scary Movie?  Richard Christy tweeted that Halloween is the best movie.  Howard’s still talking about the remake of the Thing With Two Heads, and now talking about George Takei playing the other head, which would be a gay head.  Or put Mike Tyson in the role.  They played a preview with Leon Spinks in the role.   David Arquette’s on the phone saying we should all practice peace and love.  Howard says Scream isn’t peace and love, and neither is his new movie The Happy Faced Murderer (not on IMDB yet).  During Robin’s news, they talked about NSA spying and played a senator saying it was like the scene in Casablanca when the police chief says he’s shocked there’s gambling going on, while he’s collecting his gambling winnings. Howard talks about Sharknado, and then was talking about Ronnie’s utility belt, Fred plays music from The Good, Bad and the Ugly

Howard was playing Wolfie’s interviews from a convention.  He was talking to a guy who wanted an autograph from the woman who played the  telepath on Star Trek.  He said she wasn’t very nice and threw a water bottle at his friend.  Howard said that was the worst character ever.  Whenever you needed her empathic or telepathic powers, she would cry and say that she was being blocked, or they’ve got another empath.  Wolfie also talked to a guy who was waiting for an autograph from someone who had been in Eight Mile.  Howard was surprised that person would be at a geek convention like that, though if you saw the movie you might have been scared.

JD tweeted that The Wolf of Wall Street looks so good.  Ralph tweeted that he saw Pacific Rim.  “REALLY GOOD, GREAT Xtras detailing the VERY impressive thought/design that went into creating it.”  and then ” YEAH I LOVED IT it even more when I watched how well thought out everything was, DEL TORO is a TRUE VISIONARY”

image by Doc Ivan
image by Doc Ivan

Week of 10.21.13

Howard starts blaming Scott for the phones not being on; Fred play the “Scott!” from Austin Powersas well as the “Yeah, Baby!” A caller, Jacamo, told Howard that he had organized a charity funeral in Albuquerque for Walter White from Breaking Bad.  Howard says that’s not true, that everyone should Calm the Fuck Down, show’s over.  The caller said he raised over $17k and Howard didn’t believe it so he hung up.  Another caller said that Sacha Baron Cohen was dropped from playing Freddie Mercury in the bio pic because the band thought that he’d be too distracting.  Said that Howard had said Sasha would be perfect in the role.  Howard said he never said he’d be perfect, but that they had a similar look, though Sasha’s a lot taller.  Howard thinks it sounds like a dumb movie anymore.  Robin said lots of comedians like to do serious roles.  Now the guy from Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliff will be the guy replacing  him.  Howard was talking to Sal about his life theories, and Fred plays the sound effects from Dracula and Mars Attacks!  Howard says Sal must be Curly reincarnated from the Three Stooges. Fred played a fake promo for a new movie starring Robin’s Captain (Phillips) Dennis.  Mario Cuomo announced he finally watched The Godfather, and said it was a classic. Robin said he needs to know there are lots of other films he needs to see now, like Goodfellas.

Jackie was in studio and talked about having made a movie with Sean Young, Send No Flowers and that he did a voice for The Fuzz , though he’s not credited on the IMDb page.  Howard was trying to watch Bad Grandpa because Johnny Knoxville will be in studio the next day, but he finally got this complicated machine they sent him to work, and there was no movie in there.  Gary will let him watch his copy.  Howard says Detroit is so awful it looks like the Walking Dead.  Robin said last night’s Homeland was brilliant TV.  It explained the last 2 shows that she’d thought were pretty weak and she said it was great.  Howard thought even the last 2 were good, but told her not to say anything because he hadn’t seen it yet.

Sal tweeted:  Bad Grandpa was hilarious! Laughed my pouch off!

Howard said he only got to see the first 20 minutes of Bad Grandpa, but it was really funny.  He said Beth was laughing too, and she kept saying “I love Johnny!”  Gary said his wife said that, too, and they were wondering what it is with Johnny and the girls.  Why do they all love him?  Then Howard talks about how much money the Jackass movies made, especially compared to what they cost to make.  Howard said, yeah, he’s good-looking, but he has a catheter in his cock.  When Johnny came in, they talked about all the stunts in the movie.  Howard said he’ll watch the rest of the movie tonight.  Howard asked him if it was true that during the filming of The Last Stand that Arnold had asked him not to do any practical jokes, and Johnny said it wasn’t true.   They’re up against the opening of The Counselor, and Gravity is still out, so he doesn’t know how well his movie will do this weekend.  Howard predicts it will do well because what he’s seen is fantastic.  Howard talked about how to download a movie like WWZ.

Howard doesn’t like Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  Robin says it’s getting better.  Ralph said on GEEKTIME! that he loves it, says they’ve been getting great guest stars.  Howard says he’s burnt out on it already after just one episode.  Howard likes the Blacklist a lot, so does Robin and she and Howard both love Arrow.  Howard says the love interest is really annoying and a sour puss.  He says, “Honey, have some fun.” The sister is annoying also and the assistant should take off those glasses.  It is Leslie West’s birthday, and Howard said the best performances at Woodstock didn’t make the movie, like Leslie West and Mountain.  Leslie said their manager thought it wouldn’t be a good idea for them to be in the movie.  One of the worst show business decisions ever.  Alec Baldwin was being interviewed about Seduced and Abandoned, saying he was pitching a movie, and realized that the pitching process would make a better movie, so they did.

Howard started Wednesday’s show playing clips of Riley Martin during his show, when a caller told Riley that Yucko the Clown’s show Brickelberry made a reference to the Biavian language.  Riley threatened to sue. Howard said that proves even Riley doesn’t believe his bullshit, because he can’t trademark a real language.  Robin said it was like if she said something in Spanish and then thought she could sue if someone else said the same thing.  Another caller asked Riley to talk like one of the Biavians, and then Riley broke into what Howard called Spicolie from Fast Times at Ridgemont High.  Howard said he loves Boardwalk Empire and wants to change his name to Dr. Narcisse. Howard says he loves that fucking show.  Fred uses the sound bite “What, What What!” from South Park.

Howard was talking about a two headed girl in the news that had announced one of the heads had gotten engaged.  Howard decided he need to remake the old classic movie The Thing With 2 Heads.  It was an awful movie with no special effects. Rosie Greer and Ray Milland wore a big T Shirt (Robin later said it was a turtleneck) and it was obvious that Ray was standing behind Rosie.  The story was an innocent man on death row decides to donate his body to science, and Ray Milland was a racist who was dying.  So they took his head and put it on Rosie’s body, but for some reason, they didn’t take Rosie’s head off first, and Rosie wasn’t dead.    Roosevelt Greer actually was the guy who tacked Sirhan Sirhan after he shot Jack Ruby.   Gary said when they went on IMDb to look up the movie, there was a listing for The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant made the year before the Rosie Greer movie and it had Casey Kasem and Bruce Dern.  Pat Priest was also in it, and Howard said that she’s the one who left The Munsters to go and do movies, and this is what she made.  Howard says they’ve got to do a remake with this girl with 2 heads.  Howard said Sharknado was the first attempt to bring back the shitty special effects movie.  Robin said that Ray Milland was actually a respected actor, but he had made X:Man With The X-Ray Eyes, so his career had dropped off.  Then Robin said it would have to have a Graduate ending when Howard realizes she is being married to someone else. During the I Want to Get My Grandpa Laid contest, Howard asked one of the contestants if he can use his body after he dies for this movie.

Here’s Doc Ivan‘s rendering of Howard’s remake:

image by Doc Ivan

image by Doc Ivan

On the Wrap-Up show, Gary said he was really moved when one of the Grandfather contestants and his grandson grabbed hands and looked at each other just like in  Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when Charlie finds the golden ticket, when it was announced that he’d won a trip to the Bunny Ranch.

GEEKTIME! is a Walking Dead. spectacular!

Steve Brandano tweeted:

Steve Brandano (@SBrandano)

10/27/13, 6:55 PM

I rewatched Dark City this weekend. Everyone should, always a cheap BluRay, directors cut totally worth it

On 06/02/98 Robin said she saw it in theaters and it was great. The “guy” from it sat behind them at the Blockbuster Awards

Week of 10.14.13

Tom Arnold was in studio talking about his new movie Jewtopia.  Howard said it sounds like it’s anti-Semitic, but Tom said it wasn’t.  He said it had been an off-Broadway play for years and is very funny. Tom was in Sons of Ararchy, and they talk about the guy from the show who had gotten the lead in 50 Shades of Grey, but backed out because of the fan outrage that didn’t want him to play the main character. He was in Gardens of the Night and the unreleased The Curse of Downers Grove.  He also talked about hanging out with Arnold Schwarzenegger, who he met when he made True Lies.  Fred played music from Dracula while Howard was in a trance talking to Sal about the time that his bed levitated.  In Robin’s news,  Gravity is #1 at the box office again, and Captain Phillips is #2.  Howard is feeling bad that Jerry O’connell’s TV show We Are Men  was cancelled.  Mars Attacks! music is played for Eric the Midget, and Howard and Fred use Hey Now! from The Larry Sanders Show.

Howard said that his idea for Gary and Jon’s Wrap Up Show is now being copied by Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead and Beverly Hills Housewives. He mentioned a letter that Anthony Hopkins wrote to Bryan Cranston praising Breaking Bad that leaked out.  Anthony wrote Bryan that he’d watched the entire series in 2 weeks and thought it was fantastic and all the actors were great.  Howard said that must have been such a thrill to get that kind of recognition from Anthony Hopkins, who is one of the best actors ever.  His Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lambs was genius.  William Shatner was in studio, and they talked about Star Trek.  Howard said James Spader is great in The Blacklist, and William said he was always great in Boston Legal and could memorize the lines instantly.  Fred played the phoney phone call to Carl cut from Ed Wood.

Howard started Wednesday’s show talking TV.  Said Homeland is getting much better.  Robin hasn’t seen the last episode, but doesn’t think it’s that good this season; she’s not feeling it yet.  Hanzie called later and asked how he could watch it because it’s a piece of shit.  Howard and Robin both say Walking Dead had a great start for the season.  It had really high ratings, and now AMC is the new HBO.  Robin says The Americans is really good, Howard doesn’t get it, but he’ll continue to watch it because Robin also said Banshee was great, and he’s loving it; almost done watching the first season.  Robin said Boardwalk Empire is good this season, and Howard hasn’t seen that one yet or this week’s Blacklist.  Howard says he likes the blacks on Boardwalk Empire saying their the better actor, in his best Jimmy the Greek impression.  He also says he knows that Robin likes watching the black guys on the show.  While talking to Gary, Fred plays Bababooey songs from themes of TV shows.

Piers Morgan was in studio talking about interviewing Robert De Niro, one of the biggest stars ever, starred in Raging Bull.and he started the interview showing a clip from the Focker’s movie, that De Niro didn’t think was very funny. He talked of his interview with Robert Blake, and how he’d been so great in In Cold Blood but he was angry, thinking Piers was calling him a liar.  He wonders if his wife maybe had been murdered by one of her 10 ex-husbands, he got blamed and his life had been ruined, so he’s very bitter. Howard said he’s always been a bitter and angry man, as he’d been on Howard’s show long before this ever happened and he was pretty scary.  Howard asked Piers how he feels walking down the halls of CNN with people looking at him like Dead Man Walking.  He said it’s not that bad.  Piers said he saw Gravity and it is really good.

A caller asked Howard if he’s sorry he never had a brother.   He said not at all, that most of his male friends hate their brothers.  He’s fine with just having a sister because there was no competition.  The only brothers who did it right were the ones who made the Matrix.  One of the brothers became a woman.  Howard would demand his brother cut his cock off like that.  On the Wrap-Up Show, Jason talked about how great the movie Airheads is.

JD Tweeted:   5   And I’m very genuine when I say I love The Fat Boys movie “Disorderlies 5h   

and then:  You’re welcome everybody

Week of 10.7.13

Halle Berry recently gave birth at the age of 47.  Howard said she was able to do this because she’s a superwoman due to playing one in X-Men.  Ralph tweeted that he loved Michael Clayton.  Said it’s the best Clooney drama and that he should have won an Oscar based on the last 15 minutes alone.  He said he didn’t cry, but did tear up a little.  Beth and JD were talking about their date to see Gravity, and that the movie was fantastic.  Becoming Dr. Ruth is a new play on Broadway and Howard wondered if Pamela Anderson will be playing her.  Howard said he taped a segment of Jerry Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee..  Robin said that Tom Hanks has announced on David Letterman that he’s a diabetic.  Howard doesn’t want to hear another bad joke about it being from his Forrest Gump‘s box of chocolates.  Fred says Howard said Robin need to watch It Might Get Loud again.  That it is really great especially great watching and listening to Robert Plant.

Paul McCartney was in studio and Howard asked him about writing the theme song for Live and Let Die.  He said he was asked to write it only, but Paul said no way, he wanted to write and then record it with Wings.  He read the book on Saturday, then wrote the song on Sunday.

Whoopi Goldberg was in studio talking about the Color Purple and Ghost.  A plastic surgeon called in to talk about how Howard and the gang could look better with either botox or surgery.  Howard said he didn’t want to become good-looking only to end up like Charly in Flowers for Algernon, having to watch his looks disappear.  Howard is talking to caller Wheels about Apple, and Howard said again that Steve Jobs was a genius,  He said now all those gadgets that Captain Kirk would use in Star Trek we really use.

JD tweeted:  Beautiful is the only way I can describe Spike Jonze’s “Her“…….I loved it.

Robin’s news story about a tiger attacking a zookeeper, and the zookeeper said it was her fault, not the tiger’s.  Robin reminded Howard of Life of Pi.  Pi couldn’t believe the tiger could just walk away.  She said we all need to remember a tiger’s a tiger.

Week of 9.30.13

Howard said last night’s Breaking Bad episode was best series ending ever.  It had over 10.3 million viewers. Jon Hein gave it a 9 out of 10, saying The Shield had even the better ending. He said even the Newhart ending was better. Howard then said Gilligan’s Island actually was the best.  He said the creators of Lost should watch this and learn how to end a show.  Howard thinks Banshee and Homeland are great. Howard thinks the Black List is good, but Robin’s still on the fence about that one.  He says it has too many commercials, though.

Robin kept referring to Graham Nash as the Zelig of Rock N Roll because he was everywhere and knew everyone from the early days of  Rock N Roll.

Howard said they found an old forgotten 3 Stooges short in Australia. He says “Let me guess. They get in trouble and hit each other.”

Fred played a clip from a commercial spoof of Fred the Elephant boy playing Ace Ventura and Dirty Harry.

JD and Beth went to premier of Gravity and he said he loved it.  Ralph also tweeted that it was great.

JD tweeted he saw Inside Llewyn Davis, sitting next to John Turturro. He said he laughed and it was awesome.  He also tweeted that he saw Alan Partridge and said it was one of he funniest movies he’s seen in years.

Jerry Oconnell was in studio plugging his new show We Are Men.  Howard asked if his show glorified divorce, as it’s a bunch of divorced guys hanging around having a great time.  Jerry says that they are riding the coattails of the success of 2-1/2 Men that is also about divorced men having a good time.  He said Benjy looked good, and Robin said that now Benjy looks like he was the fat guy in Stand By Me.

Replay of Michael J Fox was in studio plugging his new TV show. He said Eric Stoltz was supposed to be in Back to the Future, but he must not have been cheesy enough or rolled his eyes, so he got the part.  He had been making Family Ties, and they didn’t want to let him off to do the picture, but the 2nd time they asked, they let him go.  He’d been making Teen Wolf, which Michael says was a low-budget metaphor for puberty.  It was a hit because it was released after Back to the Future.  Afterwards, he felt he owed the producers of the show, so he stayed on the show.  Howard said it was crazy to watch this big movie star in this TV show.  Michael said if he was smart, he wouldn’t have been on TV telling Mallory to get off the phone.  Then at 29, he was told he had Parkinson’s, and had only 10 years left to work, so he took any job he could.

Jessie Ventura was in studio, and he said he didn’t watch any TV while in Mexico, but did get to watch Full Metal JacketAmerican GraffitiPrivate PartsTrading Places.  Howard says Jesse should be in the Expendables pictures with Sylvester Stallone, but Jesse says he won’t do it, because they have a new generation of tough guys, no one wants to see old men in these movies.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt was in studio promoting Don John, which he stars, wrote and directed for only $ 3-4 million, which was half the budget of 500 days of Summer.  Howard said he couldn’t take his eyes off the screen, as it really shows how guys watch pornography. Joseph says it also shows that she watches as much romantic comedies as he watches porn, so that neither one can really connect with real people.  We’re all used to one way satisfaction and are addicted to TV.  He was in 50/50 which was rated R, and he wanted to make this an R movie so that they can talk how they really talk.  Howard says Tony Danza is amazing as his dad.  Joseph said he played his dad in 1993 in Angels in the Outfield.  Howard asked him about the rumor that Christian Bale told him during the filming of The Dark Knight Rises not to do his own movie – Joseph said that was not true – it was Christopher Nolan, the director of that movie and also Inception.  He didn’t tell him not to make it, just asked him if he was really sure he wanted to do it all: write, direct and star. He got real pumped up during this movie, like it was a part time job.  He used Channum Tattum’s trainer.  Gained 12 pounds of solid muscle.  He didn’t feel that great though.  He felt much better during the filming of a movie where he played a bicycle messenger.  He had to ride a bike every day and felt really healthy. He had known he wanted Scarlett to play the lead.  He went to see her while she was filming Avengers and wanted to talk to her about it before she read the script. The end of the Batman movie implies he is going to become either Robin or Batman, so Howard asked him if he was upset he wasn’t asked to play the new Batman.  He said no, that he had made a trilogy, and it’s over.  The new Batman will start another story.  When Howard asked what TV he watches, he said Louis CK makes brilliant half hour movies.  Joseph was in the TV show 3rd Rock From the Sun as a kid.  The final year of the show he decided to go to college and the producers were generous to let him out.  He went to Columbia College and got tons of  pussy because he was famous.  He has trouble thinking if he’s getting attention from girls due to being famous or do they like me? His inspirations were Hal Ashby movies Harold and Maude, Shampoo and Being There and Woody Allen movies.  The first role he had in a movie that broke was Mysterious Skin, Brick, Looper and the Lookout. He played Lincoln’s son and Howard asked him about the stories of Daniel Day-Lewis always staying in character and how weird it was.  Joseph said he’s not always Lincoln, just stays in the voice and the mood.  He received a handwritten note on old parchment paper by quill and ink from him – he’d studied the  Lincoln’s penmanship.  When Howard asked him about working with Spielberg, He says Spielberg worked with them to capture the actor’s energy on the film; he even called him Mr. President.  He was told that Daniel wanted him for the part.  Howard asked if he was going to play Dr. Strange and he said he’s not up for that.

On MasterTape Theater, Howard can’t believe that M Knight Shamalan wrote Stuart Little.  Howard really liked that one.  He even liked The 6th Sense, even now that he knows how it ends.  When talking about hairy butts, Robin mentions Quest for Fire. Howard started the show with his Hey Nows and Robin said he was better than Hank from the Larry Sanders Show.

Geektime-movies/tv shows Ralph liked:

Agents of Shield – 2nd episode was really good

Iron Man 3

Gravity

Hunt for Red October

Thor, the Dark World

Captain American, Winter Soldier

Antman

Scott Pilgrim – Ralph hasn’t seen

Avengers 3

Amazing Spiderman 3

Get Smart

Dexter

Sopranos

Blacklist

Sleepy Hollow

The Crazy Ones – Ralph thinks is awful

The Hostages

Arrow

Black Crow

Breaking Bad

Runner Runner

Silence of the Lambs

This is the End – hasn’t yet, but heard it’s good

Downton Abbey

Wizard of Oz

Boardwalk Empire

Homeland

SNL

Independence Day

Vacation

Goodfellas

Twilight Zone

Night of the Living Dead

MdGuyver

Star Trek: the Next Generation

24

Lost

Week of 9.23.13:

Metallica was in Studio talking about their 3D movie Metallica: Through the Never.

Howard and Richard say movie is fantastic. Richard said he was moshing in the theater, and that the sound was awesome.

Emmy’s last night – Howard said it was the year of Liberace. JD is going to see Gravity with Beth. She’s going to get all decked out to see it with him. They’re going on a date. JD took his suit to the dry cleaners to get ready. JD says he’s heard only good things about the movie and that he will honor the bro code even if Beth comes on to him, or if anyone else “comes on” her. Fred played the Mars Attacks! music for Eric the Actor’s call.

Michael J. Fox was in studio. Howard asked him about getting the role in Family Ties, that Brandon Tartikoff didn’t want him, and how he got to take time off to do the Back to the Future films and Teen Wolf. Howard said that a lot of people Michael was in the TV show Leo and Me came down with Parkinson’s as well, but Michael says it wasn’t enough to be statistically significant.

James Caan was in studio and Howard talked to him about the Godfather series and how he turned down the Harrison Ford role in Star Wars, and that George Lucas decided to go with the no acting format and that’s how Harrison Ford got the job. James Caan doesn’t like Harrison Ford.  Said he was an extra in one of his movies, and he wasn’t even good at that.  Howard asked him if he’d fucked Barbra Streisand during the making of .Funny Lady..  He said no, that he respected her too much.  Howard asked if he worried about his singing, having to sing with her, and he said no, he just sang.  He knows he’s not a singer, but says he got a gold album for that.  He really liked working with her, she’s not a diva at all.  Howard asked him about Misery which he thinks is one of the best movies ever, and probably James Caan’s best performance. James didn’t think so  Howard asked him about Jack Nicholson turning down the role.  James said it was right after The Shining.Howard also said he heard he’d turned it down because Kathy Bates was the real star of the movie.  James said that Warren Beatty turned it down, saying they needed more of a man to play that part.  Howard asked him if he was upset that Kathy won an Oscar and he didn’t.  He said she should have won and he wasn’t upset.  He said they had a great time making that movie.  Howard asked him what he did to scream like that when he got his feet beaten, and he said he just screamed. He said they took out all of the violence that was in the Stephen King book and put it all in the viewer’s head, which was much scarier.   He said he turned down One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest   4 times.  He thought it wasn’t visual enough for a movie as it took place inside 4 walls.  He thought it was a nice stage play, but wouldn’t be a good movie.  He’s not upset now that he didn’t do it.  Talking about the Godfather movies, Howard asked about getting the role of Sonny.  James said originally Francis cast him, Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall and Al Pacino.  They got together, put a bowl over their heads and cut their hair and then they sat around doing improv.  He said Francis knew exactly who he wanted for each role, wanted them all to look Italian, and Sonny to look more American.  The studio didn’t like Al Pacino as Michael, said he wasn’t nailing it, so they asked James to read for the part.  When word got out that the role of Sonny was available, every actor in Hollywood did a screen test.  Burt Reynolds (James said not true) and Robert De Niro read for it but they said he didn’t have the humor (again, James said not true). He said he knew the company of people he was working with was great, but wasn’t sure if the movie was going to be great.  Howard played a clip of Johnny Russo on his show saying that James had broken his ribs during the filming of a fight scene, that he’d drop kicked him in the ribs.  Said Joel Grey won the Oscar that year for Cabaret because all 3 of the stars from Godfather were up and the vote was split.  Howard said that was bullshit.

He was also offered the role of Superman.  Said Marlon Brando called him asking him to do it, saying he needs some laughs and it would be fun.  He said he told Marlon that it would only be a few weeks work for Marlon, but it was a 2-picture deal, so that James would be committed for months, so he turned it down. He also told Marlon that he didn’t want to wear the suit, to which Marlon laughed and hung up.  It was originally going to be done by Mario Puzo and was tongue in cheek and very funny, but then it was Christopher Reeve and was done more seriously.  There was a scene where Clark Kent realized Lois is in love with Superman, and he walks into her office and rips open his shirt to show her that he’s Superman, and she laughs.  Then he runs into his office and looks into the mirror and critiques his looks.   Howard said that would have been awful, and James said it really was funny and would have been good.

James mentioned some other movies, The Rainpeople, Z, and then on to movies he turned down:  Close Encounters, Kramer Vs. Kramer (turned down because it looked like middle class horseshit.)  Said it didn’t interest him.  He said look at Love Story.  It won all kinds of awards at the time, but it’s a piece of shit, even though it’s a nice story.  Apocalypse Now (a pair of lips). Said he wanted the Martin Sheen role, and it then went to Harvey Keitel before Martin Sheen got it, and then he was told that Gene Hackman got the role he wanted.  He thought Robert Duvall was the best in the movie.  His wife was pregnant with his first baby, so he didn’t want to go on location.  He said after he watched the movie, he told Francis Ford Coppola that the problem was no one cared about the Martin Sheen role.  No one cared if he lived or died, and he had nothing to live for.  There should have been some reason for him to want to live so the audience would care about him.  He said he directed In Plain Sight.

He was in Vegas for 4 seasons and Howard asked him if he was please that the show tanked after he left. He said no.  He did the show because he was bankrupt after being robbed of his pension, but said it stopped being fun.  Howard asked him about TV being great again, like Breaking Bad and Dexter, and that’s where the great roles are.  James is returning to TV in Back in the Game where he plays a lunatic former baseball player.

Howard played some sound effects from a male porn star and he wonders why anyone would want to hear that. He says it sounds like the Human Centipede movie or one of Dexter’s victims. Or a Chewbacca impression.

Howard says the director of Star Wars The Clone Wars should really leave Hollywood.

On the Shuffle, Christina Applegate is in a movie about the Clash and Artie talked about a movie he was offered that he was a bus driver who drove a rock band all over and he knows all about rock and he just says funny stuff – there was no script and he would get no writing credit. He turned it down.

Richard Simmons was in studio, and lots of movie references: he looked and dressed like Jessica Lange in American Horror Story, Ease on Down the Road from the Wiz, Thumbelina when describing Sal’s penis, Jurassik Park, Godfather, and Planet of the Apes.

Week of 9.16.13

Talking about Bill Maher bringing up Howard’s comment from 12 years ago, Howard said it’s like the 3 Stooges’s Niagara Falls, as his “Slowly I turned.” Howard talked about his reenacting the scene from Titanic on AGT with Howie Mandell. Howard said he missed the last half hour of Under The Dome and Gary is going to get it for him. He hasn’t watched Breaking Bad yet either, and Robin said it’s great, and there’s only 3 more episodes. They’re having a contest for a listener to get their grandfather laid that is sponsored by Johnny Knoxville’s new movie, Jackass presents: Bad Grandpa. Howard said it’s always funny when Johnny dresses up like an old man wearing old man make-up and his balls are falling out of his shorts. Howard talked about the Miss America contest with their new celebrity judges.

Yucko the Clown was on plugging his show Brickleberry on Comedy Central. He was supposed to be on Fox following The Simpsons, but they put on Jonah Hill’s short-lived cartoon Allen Gregory. Howard played the d-jay that got caught with a transvestite, and Howard said it’s like Ray Donovan, who says “A mouth is a mouth.” Then they talked about Jay Thomas being a guest star on the show, and Howard and Robin said that he did a great job. Howard said Jay’s a good actor, and that was his problem, he didn’t know what he wanted to be. Howard always knew he wanted to be a radio guy, and that’s where he put all of his energy. When they were talking about the d-jay crying on the air, Robin said it was like those old movies where all these guys sit around and talk and then one breaks down. Was it Boys in the Band? Howard was talking about movie parts he turned down, most of the movies that never were made. He said Robin Williams took one of the roles he turned down. Was that Good Morning, Vietnam? He turned down a role with Melanie Griffith where he gets to fuck her. He would have played a Phil Spector kind of guy, and this was when Melanie was really hot-years ago. Gary said that the movie version of 50 Shades of Gray. has cast Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson’s daughter.

They played a Blues Brothers Baba-Booey song parody. Robin said she was looking up a list of biopics like Lincoln, and surprised she found Private Parts on the list.Gary said Lucas saw it and said Howard was very funny in it. Howard saw the Metallica film, it’s like they’re in the room with them and the sound is incredible. Richard said the sound was better than any album. Howard asks why isn’t Lars respected as a drummer? They put you right in the drum kit – it’s a 3D movie. Howard just saw it in 2D and he still felt he was on the stage. Richard said he watched it in a a theater and wanted to run to the stage and mosh with them. Richard said even the non-concert scenes are incredible, too. If you’re into metal and want to see people getting beat up, it’s a great movie. The new series, The Blacklist with James Spader sponsored the Beetlejuice game today. His character’s name is Red Reddington, and Robin wonders if they couldn’t have come up with a better name? The Voice returns this week with all 4 original judges returning.

Emmy announced.Best series Homeland, Game of Thrones, House of Cards, Downton Abbey, Mad Men,. Howard says it will be House of Cards. Best Actors Kevin Spacey,House of Cards; John Ham, Mad Men; Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad; Jeff Daniels, Newsroom. Howard said it will be either Kevin Spacey or Bryan Cranston, both are really great. Actreess Claire Danes, Homeland will win because she plays crazy and she really is. Other actresses nominated are from Bates Motel, Nashville, Scandal, Mad Men. Robin recommends Russell Brand’s show at the Borgata called The Messiah Complex. Says it is really funny. She was backstage afterwards and Russell didn’t know who she was. Howard said that Russell was thrown out of the GQ awards show for pointing out the fact that Hugo Boss used to make uniforms for the Nazis during his acceptance speech..

Robin’s news: Batman talk: There’s a rumor that Justin Beiber may be the next Robin? People still made at the Ben Affleck announcement. Howard reminded everyone that people were upset at Michael Keaton being picked for Batman years ago and he turned out great. One of Howard’s foster kitten’s name is Norton, and Robin referenced The Honeymooners.

Mike Tyson was in studio to plug his TV show Being Mike Tyson.and also to plug his book The Undisputed Truth Mike said he didn’t like Spike Lee’s Red Hook Summer. Howard said that Mike can say that and Spike Lee won’t be mad at him. Spike hates Howard because he said he didn’t like his movies, though he did like Do the Right Thing and Malcolm X. Mike agreed Malcolm X was really good and had great acting. Howard said Mike should do the Sylvester Stallone series The Expendibles . When Howard asks if he ever watches his old fights, he said no, but he might sit and watch a rerun of The Hangover.

Fred played the “Good for you!” sound byte that caught Christian Bale’s rant while filming The Terminator: Salvation.

On the Shuffle: They had been talking about the Godfather movies, and then the John Cazale movies, that he’d only been in 5 before he died, but that they were all great movies, and best picture nominees: Dog Day Afternoon, The Conversation, Godfathers 1 & 2, and and the Deer Hunter. He died at 42 of brain cancer, and his girlfriend at the time was Meryl Streep. That’s how she got the role in the Deer Hunter. Robin’s news has a story about a new Godfather video game where most of the stars came back to lend their voice talents, and you play a character and work your way up to the top. Artie is able to recite the movie, and Howard wants to give him a night to have a show on Howard 101 where he recites the entire movie.

Week of 9.9.13 (Wednesday was the 12th Anniversary of 9/11)

 

Image by Doc Ivan

Image by Doc Ivan

Image posted on SternSuperfans by Scotty “K” or on Twitter @scottyk318 along with his blog “How The Stern Show Saved My Life 9/11/01″

In honor of Friday the 13th , Richard Christy tweeted an article he wrote for the Metal Insider listing his rankings of the Friday the 13th movies.

George Takei is in studio this week. Howard said he saw him in an old episode of Twilight Zone last weekend and asked him if that’s how he got the role in Star Trek. He said no, that it was his roles in Playhouse 90 that had great plays like Requiem for a Heavyweight, written by Rod Serling that got him the role. In the Twilight Zone episode (one of the few not written by Rod Serling) he played a man who was hired by this whacky Neville Brand to work up in his attic. George Takei finds a samurai sword there and he starts acting whacky, too. George said it was only shown once on network TV and it was pulled. It has just now been released. The show was on the air shortly after WW2, and the American public wasn’t ready for all the racial undertones in the show. George again told stories of the making of Star Trek, William Shatner taking the director off set to talk to him if he thought another cast member was getting set up for an on-screen shot. Then when they resumed shooting, the scene would end up being only William’s facial expressions in response to the other cast members’ voices talking to him off camera. Howard said he was great in that Twilight Zone episode, and Robin said it must be so frustrating to be a good actor and being forced to only say “Warp speed ahead, Captain.” She said it was like Bryan Cranston in Breaking Bad being forced to play a stupid dad in Malcolm in the Middle.

George is a voice in the new animated movie Free Birds. He’s the voice of the guy flying the time capsule taking two turkeys (Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson) back to the pilgrim days to try and talk them out of eating a turkey. Howard asked him if he has a different voice, and George says it’s his usual voice, as that’s what they wanted to hear. Howard says in his George voice, “I’m a gay time capsule!” and Robin says “They came to my back door!” to which George replies he’s shocked at Robin’s remark. He says the same thing to Robin after she says “Lord of The Anal Ring Toss.” CeeLo Green was in studio talking about military school, saying it was like Taps. Ceelo said life in high school was like The Outsiders, with lots of fights between rival high schools. Howard says that’s what his high school years were like. High school rivalries weren’t friendly, kids would have knife fights.

George says he liked The Butler. Said it was very historically accurate. Robin said it was too depressing. A caller asked George what he thought about the new Sulu. George thought he was good, and he really likes him as a person, but after Howard asked, said he could work out more. He doesn’t have good abs.

From Marks Friggin. com “Robin read about Vin Diessel’s new movie Riddick being number one at the box office this weekend. Howard said he makes shitty movies that do very well at the box office. Howard said the guy is good at that.”

Robin revealed her battle with cancer, and said she had been unable to watch Breaking Bad during his chemo treatments, as she was going through the same.

JD posted on Twitter: Went to a screening of Metallica’s 3D (Metallica: Through the Never) movie…it’s 90+ minutes of Awesome. To which Richard Christy tweeted back: I agree it RULED!

JD also Tweeted: 2012 – JD Tweeted: “Place Beyond The Pines”: Gosling part > Cooper part > Sons part

This Day In History: Elephant Boy was in studio. Howard said they had a skit with him playing Captain Pike from Star Trek.

Elephant Boy was excited to be in the skit, but then realized he was stuck in a box that can only speak by these lights on the box. He started screaming to get out of the box.

The Shuffle: A drunk caller says Howard’s making a mistake making a movie with Ivan Reitman, that he’s no good, after Howard announces he’s going to direct his new movie. Howard said he’s crazy, he did Ghost Busters, Twins, Meatballs. They were all good, and this caller doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Then there was some Star Trek talk with Ralph. They replayed the phone interview with Harry Shearer goofing on the Jerry Lewis movie The Day the Clown Cried, as Harry claims he was finally able to see it.

The Satellite Years: Robin says Annette Benning’s and Warren Beatty’s daughter is transgender and awaiting an operation. Reports are they are splitting because she wants to support her daughter and he doesn’t want her to have the operation, but they are denying the rumors. Robin says she’s out plugging her new movie The Kids Are All Right. Lisa’s news: Talking about True Blood and Boardwalk Empire. Dax Shepard was in studio and talked about his career, starting with Punked, Parenthood, then Without a Paddle and When In Rome where he met his fiance Kristen Bell who had been in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Howard said she’s the hottest chick ever. He was in to plug his movie The Freebie about a couple that hadn’t had sex in 6 months and decided to give each other a freebie one night affair. Howard said this rarely happens, and Robin said if it doesn, it’s the man’s idea. Dax said if it’s the woman’s idea, it’s only because she’s already in love with someone else.

GEEKTIME! All the movies/TV shows mentioned on 9/13/13′s show:

 

Harry Potter writer JK Rowling is making the movie Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, which is a prequel to the Harry Potter books. Takes place around 7 years before and is about all about the creatures and mythology of harry potter universe. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, is one of the books harry potter used at school

trent reznor wrote social network soundtrack won oscar

orlando jones says one of his favorite movies is salmon fishing in yeman

dreamgirls ralph says the soundtrack is really good music & movie

sleepy hollow – ralph says it’s fun and funny, not just scary. really smart funny like a cross between national treasure and divici code ralph thought it would be like grim and once upon a time, but it’s really fun and funny. creaters come back and actually help and work on the sets – not just pilot episode

breaking bad – great

pirates of the carribean 3 is the only movie that cost more money to make than the game grand theft auto 5

looney tunes

superfriends

Avengers sequel james spader as is going to play ultron. They’ll use his voice and motion capture to be released 5/15

the blacklist premiers 9.23 and is so good. once you get back the silence of the lambs stuff it’s really good. James Spader is good

Ant man will be released on 11.31.15 It’s an edgar write’s script, who wrote scott pilgrim, which they tell Ralph is a great movie. Ralph hasn’t seen it yet.

Star Wars ep 7 will have origin movies coming out each year in between the new eipsodes. They will show origins of Bobofet and Yoda

breaking bad spin off for sal the lawyer played by bob odenkirk – Ralph says it’s genius casting. it’s supposed to be a prequel and has been picked up

Mad tv – Orlando Jones is a good friend with Artie and says he’s the funniest guy ever

42

West Wing – great show

Replacements great movie

the family incidius riddick – all new releases that aren’t gettin good reviews. Ralph says he’ll wait to see what Richard Roeper has to say

friday 13th

fight club

raiders of the lost ark

Star Trek into darkness

friday 13 complete collection has been released

homeland season 2 out on dvd

sharknado is out it is worth seeing because it’s so terrible. bad effects and campy

starship troopers is great

pain and gain ok to good per ralph and orlando agrees

thought it was pain but it was more gain

walking dead 3rd season is out

Week of 9.2.13

Howard’s on AGT again tonight (Tues). Howard says he loves Boardwalk Empire-says it’s a great show. The guy in Sons of Anarchy is going to be in the movie version of 50 Shades of Gray. He was also in Pacific Rim that Howard liked. but he says this must mean it’s going to be a low budget movie because they also cast Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson’s daughter. They must not think it’s going to be any good. A caller asked Howard what he thinks about the announcement that Ben Affleck is going to be the next Batman. Howard said everyone should wait and see, because everyone thought that Heath Ledger wouldn’t be a good joker. Ben was great in Argo and Good Will Hunting, and Robin said The Town was great, so we should all wait and give him a chance. People are concerned because his last superhero movie, Daredevil was so bad, but Howard said that was a bad movie; Ben Affleck wasn’t bad in it. Howard can’t believe the news that Christian Bale had turned down the offer to play Batman again for $50 million. Howard said that’s for 15 minutes of work-he’s crazy. Howard says Don Jon is really funny, it’s hysterical. Howard said he watched Kevin Nealon’s TV stand-up special and it’s really good, he’s got a good rapid-fire style.

Howard says Ray Donovan is up there with the Sopranos as the best series ever on tv. Jon Voight is amazing. There’s a great scene with Rosanna Arquette when he says you’re too old for me to fuck you. maybe you can just blow me. She says only if there was a gun to her head and then he comes back into the room with a gun. Howard said House of Cards is really good. Robin says Brittish one is better. He said he was actually watching House of Cards when Beth bit his toe last night and tweeted a picture of her with his foot in her mouth. Howard says House of Cards is much better than Game of Thrones, and Robin says you can’t compare, as they’re totally different types of shows. Howard still says he has no idea what’s going on with that guy who got his dick cut off. He said again that House of Cards and Ray Donovan are the best shows on tv now. Howard said the only way he would get the hot chick that was in studio today was if there was a nuclear holocaust, and JD asked like WWZ?

In Robin’s news, played an interview with Diana Nyad after swimming from Puerto Rico to the Keys. Her tongue was all swollen from being in the salt water for so long, and Robin said she sounded like the Throw Mamma From the Train movie. She was talking about The Butler saying it’s not a fun story. Oprah doesn’t make fun. She said it’s great because all the white men now get to play presidents. Howard said that Robin’s the only black person not in the movie. Howard asked Robin if he’d heard that Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones were divorcing. He said he knew it would happen after the Liberace movie.

Satellite Years: JD was talking sex to Kissefur on the phone, and again was likened to Napoleon Dynamite when he gets frustrated and tells Gary to shut up.Robin was talking about Angelina Jolie and how she’s now beyond A List. Howard asked if she’s ever won an Oscar, and Robin said she did for Girl, Interrupted with Winona Ryder. Howard said his picture from a magazine was dropped by some missionaries out in the jungle and now he’s prayed to. Robin said it’s just like that out of that movie The Gods Must Be Crazy. Howard talking to Eric the Midget, asking him how he takes a shit. He asked if he had to be carried to the toilet on someone’s back like Yoda. Artie says, “Shit, I will.”

The Satellite Years: Howard was saying that Merle Streep has a new movie coming out, Julie and Julia. He says she’s always great in everything she does, so is sure her portrayal of Julia Child will be really good. Artie said she was great in the Deer Hunter. In Robin’s news: Adam Sandler’s new movie is Funny People. Howard was talking about George Takei and Brad’s lovemaking that starts in wrestling, and realized that that’s how all the lovemaking starts with Brokeback Mountain. Howard told a story about hitting himself in the head with a phone, and Artie said it was like the 3 Stooges.

GEEKTIME! Movie/TV Mentions:

 

Bryan Cranston as Lex Luther in the new Superman Batman

Superman Man of Steel

Streetcar named Desire

Godfather

Perks of Being a Wallflower

Breaking Bad

Spectacular Now

The Worlds End – Ricahard Roeper thought it was really funny

Hangover 3 -bad sequels; Grownup 2 didn’t even see the first one

Miss Congeniality Legally Blonde lucky they worked the first time; no sequels!

Ralph says best movie of summer Iron Man 3 – thought it was the best superhero movie ever. Roeper loved it, too

Usually 3rd sequels are bad – Lethal Weapon 3 not good, Godfather 3 no good, but Toy Story 3 was really good and Iron Man 3 is fantastic – Ralph says the best movie of the summer.

Silence of Thee Lambs is why Ralph doesn’t read books – movie is one of his favorites, if he’d read the book, he might not have liked the movie as much

Heroes of Cosplay

Orange is the New Black

Thor – Loki on Sesame Street teaching kids patience

New Robocop that Ralph says shouldn’t be made

True Blood this will be the last season – Ralph says good timing

Dexter had some not so good episodes and now good again. He was finally liking Mini Dexter finally got good and then they killed him off

Game of Thrones getting better ratings on HBO than True Blood

Flash Dance Dirty Dancing; Enough Said is really good; looking forward to Gravity; Children of Men; The Counselor, No Country for Old Men

Stern Show Shuffle: Tina Fey had seen Freaky Friday and wanted Linsay Lohan for Mean Girls. Howard asked if they had cut back Rachel Drach’s part because she wasn’t pretty enough on 30 Rock. Tina said that wasn’t true. Howard and Artie are talking Dirty Work and working with Don Rickles, and him talking to Artie’s stomach. Howard said it’s so funny, it makes him want to see Beer League.

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Saving Private Mund image by Doc Ivan

Week of 8.26.13 F-Emmys Week

During Tiny Tim’s F-Emmys acceptance speech, he talked about Sharon Stone. He said he saw had seen her in 6 movies recently, but he mentioned these 3: Total Recall, The Quick and the Dead, Diabolique . He said he also saw her in Casino and she was so beautiful it brought him to tears. Says she has a beautiful face; he loves her face, it’s like going to heaven. Howard said he should watch her in Basic Instinct and then he can freeze frame it to see her bush. Tiny Tim said he also watches old Shirley Temple movies.They had the now grown up TV kids from The Brady Bunch, Dick Van Dyke Show , Little House on the Prairie, and The Addams’s Family along with some other stars from TV series like F Troop , Seinfeld, Watching Ellie and Tim Allen from Home Improvement talking about his drug dealing past. He said he used to like the show Frasier, but now he doesn’t like it. Howard asked him if he hates Kelsey Grammar, but he says he doesn’t, but he doesn’t like that now his show is competing against his. Robin says Frasier is light fare, just a pleasant show to watch, but not that great. Robin said she didn’t want to see his movie The Santa Clause but she was drugged to it but then thought it was one of the funniest movies ever. Tim said the script was pretty funny, but he had to constantly argue with the effects department. Howard said he should have done a Mrs. Doubtfire, where they spent $15 on special effects to put Robin Williams in that rubber face. Tim said that they did use that movie’s effects. Tim said he’s working on The Indian in the City now, a family picture which was later renamed Jungle 2 Jungle. He says he won’t be doing a Santa Clause sequel (which he did do The Santa Clause 2 in 2002, and then in 2006 he did The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause). Billy Crystal’s interview was up for an F-Emmy for his response to questions, one of which was about Mr. Saturday Night.

Paul Rodrigues was in studio and was telling a story about when he went to the premier of D.C. Cab, he walked into a bathroom and saw Marion Barry, the then mayor of D.C. with cocaine. He said he didn’t actually see him snort it, but he definitely was with it. His story was up for an F-Emmy for best celebrity revelation. Howard and Robin said that Malcolm X was the first good Spike Lee movie. Another F-Emmy category was Battle of the Wack Pack and High Pitch Eric was asked who directed Citizen Kane and Eric guessed it directed by was Citizen Kane. Roseanne admitted she had worked as a prostitute, and Howard asked if she was a high priced one like in Pretty Woman. Corbin Bensen from LA Law was on talking about banging Heather Thomas and Vanna White. Henry Hill was on talking about whacking 3 people when he was young, during the time he wrote about in Goodfellas starting when he was 16.

JD was being interviewed by the news about the movie To The Wonder. DISCLAIMER: This quote is deciphered to the best of my ability after listening to the report on the Howard 100 News three times:

 

“It’s not – I’m not a visual – I’m not into visuals, I’m not into poetry that much and I don’t want movies as poems and that what basically this is. It’s not a lot of dialogue it’s just not my thing. If you like Terrence Malick and you don’t want any kind of a story you’ll like it.” When Shuli asked him if he wants to rate it on his “um” scale, he said ” You know what, on my personal um scale I don’t even want to put in on an um scale because I respect the filmmaker too much. You’re either all in or all out on a Malick movie.”

And then Jason Kaplan tweeted: ” Listening to @jdharm give a review of a Terrence Malick movie is almost as painful as watching a Terrence Malick movie.”

JD tweeted: I’ve seen “Paradise Lost” and “West Of Memphis” is still very much worth seeing. Proud of for her role in WM3 case.

Shuffle: Pee Wee Herman’s in studio and said he’s in Cheech and Chong’s Next Movie. David Spade was in studio plugging Joe Dirt. Howard said he really needs this one, as he hasn’t had a good movie since Tommy Boy. David said it was good, but admitted that his last few had not been too good. Howard said that he really needs a success this time. Beetlejuice was in the studio, too, and he said that Tommy Boy had been alright. David introduced his new assistant, which turned out to be a cute girl who had actually be up for the job before against Skippy. David said he had thought he needed a guy to carry equipment, but Howard said he got a girl so that now he can always kick her ass if she goes crazy like Skippy did.

Doc Ivan posted this image from Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein on Twitter, and after Ralph complained, posted again in black and white.

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Week of 8.19.13

Howard said Oprah’s movie, The Butler, was #1 at the box office. He said it’s the best, most important movie ever, and he’s hoping to see it someday. Oprah claims the movie made her boyfriend cry in front of her for the first time. Howard said that’s not true, because he cries all the time after seeing her naked. Robin said he cries alone in the bathroom, so Oprah doesn’t see. Howard says Oprah claims she’ll go anywhere to promote this movie, but she’s lying because she won’t come into his studio. Howard’s disappointed that it did so well, as everything she does always succeeds. Robin says that’s not true, because the OWN Network is kicking her butt. Then Robin told the story of how Oprah always got authors to do her show when she had her book club. She would have her staff call the author and say that the Times was going to be calling, so they’d pick up and it was Oprah, and not all the authors were thrilled.

Jen Graff fromStern Facebook Superfans!!! added more to the story: The author Robin was talking about this morning was Wally Lamb who wrote two incredible books. And declined going on the Oprah show for her book club selection. Robin said he eventually appeared on the show. He never, ever made an appearance on her show. He did do 60 minutes to talk about his writing program in a Woman’s Prison. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wally_Lamb

Howard said he saw the movie Jobs. It got horrible reviews and did poorly, but Howard liked it and thought Ashton Kutcher was good in it. It had some ridiculousness in it, but it was good. Steve Jobs had a child that he never acknowledged, but then in the movie she turns up on the couch like she’s been there all along. It should have been more like A Beautiful Mind that not only showed his genius but also his craziness. Howard said he also watched Don Jon with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Actually, he’s in the middle, but so far he’s really into it. Had to stop watching to throw a dinner party. All this guy does is work out. He loves chicks, but would rather jerk off to porn instead. Tony Danza plays his dad, and he’s really funny. Then he meets Scarlett Johansson and she really knows how to play it; she won’t fuck him. Howard spent the weekend catching up on the TV shows Strike Force, Ray Donovan, Dexter. Robin saw the Linda Lovelace movie with Amanda Seyfried – but Robin can’t remember if she was naked, but figured she must have been. She says that a movie about Linda Lovelace has to turn out badly, so it’s not a fun movie, kind of a bummer. She’s beaten and abused and the guy’s all on drugs and she has to escape. Howard says that Yeah, after a week of work, you really want to see that. When this movie was in production, there were rumors that Lindsay Lohan was to play Linda Lovelace, but ended up in rehab instead. Robin said that Oprah Winfrey got an interview with Lindsay Lohan, and Howard said that means she’s going to be alright, because no one goes on Oprah and is not alright afterwards. She told Oprah she’d been dependent on alcohol and using other drugs, but not hooked on drugs. Howard said that was her identical twin over in Europe. When Robin didn’t know what he was talking about, he said, you know, like in Parent Trap, where she had that identical twin that they were separated at birth, and one of them went to live with Dennis Quaid in Europe?

Gia Allemand from the Bachelorette killed herself, and she was the one Gary hit on the Kimmel show with the baseball. Howard was interviewed said that sudden fame can be difficult, that she was a beautiful girl and he watched her all the time. Howard said that was during an interview about AGT and they spliced his answers together. Fred plays the Exorcist music while the big ball guy says his aunt thinks his problem is the result of the devil, and later the Psycho music when he showed his post surgery balls. Howard, Robin and Gary talk about the great shows that are always on Sunday nights and how hard it is to watch them all. Gary had to get a 4 tuner TiVo recorder. Started with the Sopranos, then the football game, Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, Homeland, Falling Skies. Sal and Richard asked people about the horrible Sharknado that killed over 100 people in Australia. Eric the Actor again is accompanied by the Mars Attacks! music and Redrum from The Shining.

Alex Xander was in studio talking about putting girls through the A Bronx Tale test to see if he wants to date them. During a live read for the new movie The World’s End, Howard and Robin said Shaun of the Dead, by the same people, was a zombie movie that was ahead of its time. Robin said it was one of the world’s great movies. One of the stars of Friday Night Lights and Smallville committed suicide. Talking concentration camps; Howard mentioned Stalag 13.

Richard Christy tweeted this picture from An American Werewolf in London

saying “One of the scariest shots in all of horror film history” BSJ_Bj-IEAAUjjC

This Day in History:

Robin’s news: the story of the Pastoriuis guy up for murder. Robin says he cried in the courtroom. Howard said he rusted like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz.

The Satellite Years: Eric the Actor is in studio and they bring in Diana DeGarmo from American Idol Fred plays the Theme from Romeo and Juliette, A Time For Us. Natalie Maines is in studio and Howard talks to her about Heroes. Her husband is one of the leads. He says it’s getting better again and now he’s enjoying it. Some of the last season’s stories were pretty lame, but he’s enjoying it again.

This Date in History: Kevin Bacon was on the phone. He wouldn’t talk about his son’s sexual prowess out of respect, so Artie says Kevin should tell him he won’t be sharing his Mystic River money out of respect. Kevin showed his penis in Hollow Man , though it was computer added and made way too big. Artie thought he’d shown his penis in Wild Things, too. He’s making Death Sentence. Howard says it sounds like Death Wish or Robin says Straw Dogs. a revenge movie and howard said he loves movies like that. Says The Punisher didn’t work because you didn’t feel bad enough for the dude There’s lots of of action and lots of killing. The director was the guy who did the first Saw. Kevin’s wife Kyra Sedgwick is making $250k an episode on the cable show The Closer that Robin says is really good. Henry Hill, author and subject of Goodfellas, called in during another segment.

Beetlejuice was in studio with Arden Myrin to plug Bubble Boy. She was also in Deconstructing Harry and What Women Want. She said that all the women on the set are warned about Beetle, not to get too close, that he might try to flash them . He didn’t do that, but he did touch her breast. He reached up to cop a feel, Beetle said he was picking her oranges. She said the Wardrobe people couldn’t work with Beetle. They’d want to hold his jewelry all night and he wouldn’t let them. He’d be wearing different clothes or a different medallion in the same scene, or his hair would be different. He had someone off scene tell him his lines. One time he was supposed to hump someone and forgot, so someone had to stand off to the side and shake his leg to remind him. She said he was professional on the set. One scene had him fighting with Vern Troyer, Mini Me, and Beetle was worried he might hurt him because he’s bigger. She said he really showed that he had a heart.

Ralph tweeted: “NERD ALERT, NERD ALERT!!! NEW BATMAN ACTOR announced and I LOVE IT!” Ben Affleck. And then later, for some reason, Ralph tweeted: @MYGEEKTIME “There’s not a MINUTE of GOODFELLAS that I don’t LOVE… A GREAT MOVIE on EVERY LEVEL!” Ben Affleck also played in Hollywoodland as George Reeves, the TV Superman, so he’ll be the only guy to play both Batman and Superman. Ralph tweets that Sharon Stone’s best role ever was in Casino.

A caller on the Jay Thomas show said they saw this movie Underdogs and Jay’s the star. Jay says this is an awful movie, and he’s not embarrassed because he’s not the star. These people who star in it, this is their life. Jay plays an football announcer. He says D.B. Sweeney was trying to announce the game, and it was a very dry read. They told him to pretend he was watching a game, but he said there wasn’t a game going on, and he couldn’t do it.

Jon Hein was asked on Twitter what he thought of Man of Steel. He said he liked it, but didn’t love it.

Stern Show Shuffle: Matthew McConaughey was in studio and Howard asked him about being arrested for playing bongos naked while high at home. Howard said he saw him in U-571 which he said was really good, but Howard first started hearing about him after Time To Kill He dated Ashley Judd after that for awhile. Robin said no one took their clothes off in this movie and Jon Bon Jovi is in this one also. Howard missed when he dies, but Robin said that’s what war’s like, you don’t even see your friend die. Howard said he and Bon Jovi went to a comedy club during the filming of the movie and heckled a comedian. No naked women, either, but there’s lots of blowing stuff up, so Howard’s ok with it. Bon Jovi had to cut his hair for it. Harvey Keitel is in it as well, and Howard wants to know if he’s from Pluto. Gary said it wasn’t so much as heckled, it was making noises while the guy was trying to do his act. Speech Impediment Man called in and said it was the CP Comic. Matthew apologized for making fun of the CP Comic and said he was drunk. Howard said he’s really good in it. It’s real believable when he’s the captain of the boat. Howard said he also liked him in Dazed and Confused. He was in Contact with Jodie Foster, and a caller said she was like a cold fish. He said, no, she’s very sexual, but they didn’t have any relationship. Another caller said she loved him in Edtv

Robin’s news about some gays protesting the movie Braveheart because of the way Mel Gibson portrays the gay king. Howard said he walks around in a kilt, and Robin says that’s Rob Roy.

Ralph tweeted Oblivion was good, not great, but better than the lesser “OK”, but earlier had given it a solid ok. He said it was some really great design and effects, and the DVD extra “making of” is GREAT. Said it had a GATTACA vibe to it….just needed some script work…never really GRABBED me. Interesting premise but not well ex3ecuted, kinda SLOW…too bad, had potential to be REALLY GOOD. I give it a SOLID OK.

 

Week of 8.12.13 They’re back live!

Eric the Actor was on the phone with the producer of the TV series In Plain Sightin which Eric was given a small role. He offered a movie role to either him or Jeff the Drunk, and Jeff was willing to actually act, so he’ll get the job. Steve Brandano did some interviews at ComiCon, and he said some of the people’s makeup looks like it’s out of Alien Vs. Predator. Wolfie went to BroniCon talking about My Little Pony. Howard said he guy being interviewed sounds like the Three Stooges. JD said he’s never been attracted to a cartoon, not even Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Howard said he’s attracted to her. JD’s talking and Robin said his voice is going in the Barney from Andy Griffith range. Howard said he’s definitely Napoleon Dynamite.

Howard talked about and watching The Bachelor and how effeminate all the men are.Howard played a clip of a fake promo for Sharknado (Jokenado). This one is starring Jackie the Jokeman. They were talking bad Dice movies, and they mentioned Ford Fairlane and Brain Smasher.

 

Robin says she likes the TV show Orange is the New Black. Howard’s trying to watch House of Cards. but NetFlix and Apple TV are all fucked up. Talk of Ronnie’s new tattoo of Superman :During his downtime at AGT, Howard said he’s watching The Host and it’s pretty good.Robin sais 2 Guns in pretty good but he can’t get it in DVD yet.Robin said there’s lots of chemistry between the two leads.Howard’s going to watch Mark Wahlberg in Pain & Gain next while in his dressing room.Howard said Dexter is really good this year, and they’re smart to give it an ending. Howard told Robin that World War Z made $500 million. He asked Robin if Brad Pitt is a movie star now? She hasn’t decided yet. Howard said Mrs. Cunningham from Happy Days was at AGT last week. He says she’s had some bad plastic surgery.

 

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Images by Doc Ivan

In Robin’s news, Breaking Bad was the highest viewed show last Sunday. Howard likes that dome in Under The Dome to protect him from all these dangerous brain eating amoeba.Howard hopes this one will have an ending like Dexter. He thinks the only possible explanation of the domeis it’s from aliens.The only other time there’s been a dome is in Superman’s Fortress of Solitude. They play Robert De Niro’s maniacal laugh from King of Comedy.

 

The girl in Buffy the Vampire Slayer had her picture in the paper and Howard said she still looks good.

Jason Kaplan’s guilty TV pleasure is Amish Mafia on Discovery.

Roger Ebert’s site finally got a look at the Jerry Lewis The Day The Clown Cried. Here’s the article:

http://www.rogerebert.com/balder-and-dash/found-footage-snippets-of-the-jerry-lewis-project-the-day-the-clown-cried-see-the-light-of-day

On the Shuffle, they played the clip when JD had his iPhone stolen when he was mugged on the subway.Howard said that’s why he loves the Death Wish No one mugs Charles Bronson.movies.Jon Stewart came in to plug Playing By Heart. Howard said he liked him in The Faculty where he’s a teacher who turns into an alien. Howard says his staff is like the Three Stooges. Each person has one job, and he gave a tape to Scott 3 days ago and still no tape. Howard was talking about his days right out of college trying to get a job and circulating a tape he’d made that was horrible and no wonder no one offered him a job. Robin said it was like that movie The Ring where they keep sending this tape around that kills people-his just tried to kill his career before it got started. Ben Stiller was in plugging Dodgeball. Artie said he was in Mystery Men together. Said he killed Artie in the first scene, and Howard said that he did him a favor. Howard asked Ben if it made him uncomfortable to be seeing beautiful Halle Barry kissing Billy Bob Thornton in Monster’s Ball, and Ben said no. Artie said he was uncomfortable because it was interracial.

On The Satellite Years: Before the IQ test results given, Eric the Actor had a list of demands before he would allow his results to be revealed. Howard agreed to most of them, so Eric agreed to participate. Fred started with the sound effects from Mars Attacks!, and Eric said that he wanted to add another demand, that Fred not be allowed to play those anymore, but it was too late. Will the Farter was also in the IQ test and scored low, but Howard said it doesn’t matter because he’s got a great talent and is in Jackass 3D. Fabio was in studio, and he talked about being in Bubble Boy with Beetlejuice.

Shuli tweted that he loves Prometheus. Says it’s the best sci fi flick in years.

Week of 8.5.13 Howard Stern’s TV Cast Week

 

Read the rundowns of Interviews  with cast members on Mark’s Friggin.com : TV shows mentioned this week:   Seinfeld, Saved By The Bell, In Living Color, Melrose Place, Beverly Hills 90210, L.A. Law, American Idol, Rosanne, American Dreams The Tracy Ullman Show, Jackass, The Simpsons Friends, Mad About You, Frasier Family Ties The Cosby Show, In Plain Sight, Growing Pains, ER Baywatch,Happy Days Star Trek, The Love Boat, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Brady Bunch, Full House, Cheers, Gilligan’s Island The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, All in the Family, MASH Jeopardy Get Smart Hazel Saturday Night Live The Partridge Family,

 

Jim Carrey was in studio during In Living Color and Howard asked about his being too big to stay with the show and going off to star in movies.  Jim said it was the Once Bitten thing, as it didn’t do very well.  Howard predicted he’d do well in movies someday. Howard said the show should be called In Leaving Color, as everyone was leaving, and Jim Carrey was the only person left, and he’s white.  Howie Mandel asked how it was to do a sketch by himself.   They talked about Homey the Clown,   Bill Burns, the Fire Marshall Guy. and The Adventures of Handi-Man. Talked about the Wayans brothers’  Scary Movie franchise, and I’m Gonna Get You Sucka, which Robin said was even before In Living Color.  David Alan Grier,also talked about his failed auditions for Cheers (they told him they were looking for a black bartender) The Tracy Ullman Show, Seinfeld (he thought it was going to be awful) and Jerry McGuire-he kept thinking Tom Cruise was whispering or forgetting his lines.  Jim Carrey went on to make the Grinch, Liar, Liar, Ace Ventura, Man On the Moon, and Jamie Foxx made Ray. David Allen Grier saw Ace Ventura at the preview sitting next to a very nervous Jim Carrey, but he thought it was too crazy to make it.  He didn’t think America was ready for it.  Chris Rock agreed with him, that no one would see it.  He’d made Earth Girls Are Easy that didn’t do well.  David Allen Grier was on the set of Boomerang with all these big stars talking about banging famous women, and he had nothing to say.  They talked about the then dancer Jennifer Lopez and Rosie Perez.  Robert Schimmel had been a writer on the show and ate lunch with Jennifer Lopez.  He told the story of running into Jennifer Lopez years later and she said she didn’t remember anyone from the show. Howard asked him if he asked her if she remembered Jim Carrey, and he said he didn’t want to run after her, as she had just kept walking.

 

Elizabeth Berkley from Showgirls was in studio when she was 23.  Howard said that was the best age for women.  Robin reminded him that he’d said last week that 26 was the perfect age when he had had a 26-year old in studio.  Howard said it was a good career move for her to change her image, as she was originally known as the girl from Saved by the Bell, even though she’s blamed for the failure of this movie.  Howard said it wasn’t a good movie, and she said there was no indication while she was filming that it was going to be this bad; it even did well at film festivals.  She had confidence that it would do well, as the director, Paul Verhoeven, had done a bunch of good movies, namely Basic Instinct, Total Recall, Robo Cop, and he went on to direct Starship Troopers, one of Howard’s favorites.  But Howard said it was worth it, as it gave her name recognition, so that now she’s got her next role in First Wives’ Club.  Howard had all 4 cast members of Seinfeld on talking about his favorite episodes and contract negotiations.

 

 

Image by Doc Ivan

 

Lisa Rinna and Heather Locklear seperate interviews were played with them talking about Melrose Place. Heather also talked about TJ Hooker.  Howard told Heather she should do her next negotiation in a thong to get whatever she wants.Howard got Eric the Actor his first acting role with a part in American Dreams , and he started in with his demands.  Howard thinks Jackass is like the Three Stooges with naked ass play.  Before the first Jackass the Movie came out, it had a better audience anticipation and recognition than  Spider-Man.

 

Talking Star Trek . and Howard asks William Shatner how he could have have Ohura playing a temptress to distract the enemy in Star Trek 5, the one he directed.  Howard said that was when she was way past being attractive.  Howard said Scotty in a dress would have been more attractive. DeForest Kelley was talking about his career before Star Trek and said he usually played a heavy and was in Gunfight at the O.K. Corral . William Shatner also talked with Howard about his disappointment of not being cast in the new Star Trek movie, especially now that he knows Leonard Nimoy is going to be in it.  Shatner just had lunch with Leonard, and he refused to tell him how they’re going to fit his character into this new reboot of Star Trek.   Howard said Rhea Perlman looks like one of the monkeys from the Wizard of Oz

 

From Marksfriggin.com:   “Howard said Cheers has the world’s ugliest barmaids.  Howard said he’d go in there asking if that was one of he Wizard of Oz’s flying monkeys.  Howard said at the end of Cheers they could have Rhea Perlman flying off like one of those monkeys.”

 

Jason Kaplan tweeted his review of this animated movie:  movie review for Justice League: Flashpoint Paradox – A++++++ Best DC animated movie in years! A must see! Two Man Boobs up!

 

The Shuffle played Norm MacDonald and they talked about Dirty Work.  Artie said it’s now a cult classic.  They played the clip after Stuttering John’s wedding when Jackie and Nancy got drunk and Jackie passed out in the bathroom and everyone was banging the door into his hear.  They said it was like Weekend at Bernie’s and Days of Wine and Roses. Also played was the Rocky theme for Scott the Engineer’s push-up contest, and Mars Attacks! for Eric’s calls.  Talking the Partridge Family with David Cassidy and Howard told him his step-mom who played his mother in the show, Shirley Jones, had been really hot in The Music Man.

 

More movie posters from Doc Ivan:

 

 

 

 

Week of 7.29.13

 

Howard was talking about his grand appearance on AGT at Radio City Music Hall with the Rockettes, and Howard said he would just do the John Travolta pose from Saturday Night Fever.  Howard had Gary talk to Eric the Actor while Fred played music from Mars Attacks!  about Jeff the Drunk being represented by Johnny Fratto.  Howard said Jeff could be in the new Sharknado, because Eric would refuse to be eaten by sharks.  Throughout the week, Howard pitches new ideas for the sequel:  Mundnado, Croconado, Cannibalnado Lobsternado.

 

Image by Tom Adelsbach

Jeff said he’s up for a part with the In Plain Sight executive producer John Straus that Eric had turned down.

 

Howard watched the new show with Jon Voigt,, Ray Donovan, and says it’s great.  Says he’s so good he deserves an Academy Award, even better than an Emmy he’s so good.  He said True Blood is getting better.  Robin liked Dexter, said it was interesting.  She likes this season so far.  Howard said Tues he’d watched it the night before and it really is good.  They plated a clip from Jackie’s The Wicked, as now he’s trying to raise money on kickstarter for a movies he’s in, Pray for Us Sinners .  He needs money to get the movie to film festivals and to promote the movie.

 

Robin Thicke was in studio and said his wife is in the new 2 Guns and it was her idea to do a scene topless.  He also wrote the closing song in Despicable Me.

 

Howard said he saw Pacific Rim and loved it, and said Robin would love it, too.  Robin said Wolverine was disappointing even though she likes the character.  Says it’s a stupid story and she was bored.  It was #1 at the box office last weekend.  It’s the 6th time Hugh Jackman has played the role; Robin wonders how long he can keep on playing it.  The Conjuring was #2 at the box office.  Robin said that was really scary and Howard wouldn’t be able to take it.  He asked if it had an evil doll like the Twilight Zone, which freaked him the fuck out.  Despicable Me 2 came in at #3, Turbo #4 and Grown Ups 2 was #5 at the box office last weekend.  Howard said that Ronnie was acting like Superman on the Wrap up Show last week talking about how he got the hottest chick/biggest fan contestant dressed for the contest.

 

On the Wrap-Up show, Gary likened Eric to Peter Dinklage’s character in Living in Oblivion with  Steve Buscemi, where he tells him to act happy, and he says he just did.

 

On Tuesday, they opened the show with Booey (Jerry) McGuire.  Howard said he loves Falling Skies.  Ralph tweeted that Breaking Bad was great.  Howard said he was watching a retrospective of Johnny Carson with Drew Barrymore during the E.T.:  The Extra-Terrestrial years.  He said she was so cute, and Johnny was actually very good with her.  Robin said Johnny was always good with children.  Fred said he saw one with a 27-year old Susan Sarandon when she was Susan Sarandon.  A caller said that she’d been trying to go out with JD and he kept rejecting her.  While JD was trying to talk to her, Howard said he sounded like Fred played the sounds from Frankenstein,and Fred played the sound of Martin Landau’s Bela Lugosi from Ed Wood.

 

They had Matthew Berry in studio who wrote Crockodile Dundee in Los Angeles and said that Paul Hogan tried to get complete writing credit. Howard said he liked those movies, but Matthew said he wrote the third one, and it wasn’t very good.  He talked about how cheap Ed ONeil is from Married with Children.  He gave the crew a cheap beach towel and another time took them to lunch and then split the bill, asking, “Who had the tuna fish?” Howard said Blue Jasmine is Woody Allen’s biggest opening of a film ever, and it was only released in a few theaters.  He said that now Woody Allen thinks he should have put Dice in Annie Hall.  Now Gallagher is talking to Martin Scorsese.  The Lone Ranger tanked, and Howard says that now Johnny Depp is truly affected.  He says he’s quitting acting.  Robin said that’s ok, as he’s only doing one act now anyway. Howard said he hasn’t seen House of Cards with Kevin Spacey yet.  He and Robin are loving Under the Dome.

 

On Howard Stern: The Satellite Years, 2006:  Howard was talking to Robin about how movies now have to make it on their first weekend out.  They aren’t given the chance to grow by word of mouth like years before.  Movies like Rocky, Crocodile Dundee, Napoleon Dynamite and Borat.  Maybe the last movie to grow like that was the Jazz Singer in the 30′s.  Robin disagrees, but Howard says he’s talked to an expert and movies don’t grow like that anymore.  Howard said that Hoosiers was a great movie, but then they made a Hoosiers light and it was horrible.  Saw 3 got awful reviews but made lots of money at the box office.  Howard said Artie should make his next movie a horror picture and it would do better at the box office than Beer League.  Robin loved The Prestige better than the other magician movie that’s out, The Illusionist. Howard says movies about magic don’t work because it’s a movie and you the tricks are camera tricks.  Howard did like the Illusionist, but Robin said Prestige is better.They both loved Borat.  Howard saw an awful movie with Richard Gere about a spelling bee called The Bee Season.  Howard said he hated it, and Robin said she saw the previews and they screamed “Stay Away!”  He said it’s awful.  At the end the girls winks at the camera as she throws the bee and then it’s over.  Says it made no sense.  He said it was such an abomination. Robin said she saw Battlestar Galactica and they can’t swear.  So silly, because it’s supposed to be a gritty version of Star Trek.  Artie said it would be like if the networks made a show about the Mafia.  It wouldn’t work after the Sopranos.

 

Elijah Wood was on GEEKTIME!!! and he said that his first movie acting role was in Back to the Future Part 3.  He’s a kid at a video game and Michael J Fox teaches him how to play the game.

 

More great Art by Doc Ivan:

 

 

 

 

Image by Doc Ivan
Image by Doc Ivan

 

Week of 7.22.13

 

AGT is back live this week.  Howard again compares JD is to Napoleon Dynamite when he starts to get angry about his spoon collection. Howard forgot to watch Sharknado. He said ratings went way up the 2nd time they showed it, and they didn’t credit his audience.  The caller said they should do the sequel and have Howard hitting a golf ball 300 yards into the sharks.  Eric the Actor is on the phone with Gary and Fred plays the Ack Ack! from  Mars Attacks! and the Redrum from The Shining.  sound effects.  Andrew Dice Clay was in studio to plug his new movie with Woody Allen, Blue Jasmine.  He and Howard both agree that Woody Allen’s Broadway Danny Rose is a great film.  Dice talked about a roast he did in front of the producer of Ford Fairlane.  Opened with Back to School clip with Sam Kinison.  Adam Carolla was in studio and talked about raising money for his movie Road Hard with Fund Anything.

 

Howard says True Blood is awful now, Walking Dead is still good.  Howard said that Dennis Farina died and that he always liked him.  Said he was hired as a consultant for Thief, and Michael Mann realized this guy was good and had a great face so he hired him for  Miami Vice in the 80′s and then he went on to do great movies like Get Shorty.  Howard said he liked Jerry Lewis movies with Dean Martin.  Robin said she did laugh at The Nutty Professor.  Alec Baldwin was in studio to plug Blue Jasmine.  He and Howard made fun of Sharknado and the Lone Ranger; said he would have liked to continue 30 Rock, but after Tina’s 2nd baby, she wanted to stop the long hours.  Alec had also worked with Woody in .Alice and To Rome With Love.  Alec says Cate Blanchette was one of the best actresses now.  Howard said he had worked with  Meryl Streep in It’s Complicated, Howard said he liked that movie, but Alec says that was just a romantic comedy.   Alec says Howard’s house is a combination of Xanadu and the opening sequence of Citizen Kane with all the animals. Alec worked with director Adam Shankman on Hairspray and Rock of Ages, but then Howard mentioned The Shadow, and how much he liked that movie, but it tanked.  Alec said he really admired Daniel Day-Lewis with his performances in Lincoln, My Left Foot and The Age of Innocence, and how he handles his personal life.  Robin again said that Banshee is great and Howard should watch.

 

This Date in Howard History Mark Wahlberg was on from 2001 when he was plugging The Planet of the Apes.  They compared it to the first Planet of the Apes. Robin said Howard would love Dazed and Confused.  Don Rickles was on the phone to plug Toy Story 3.  Shuffle, Fred plays the “It’s over, Johnny. It’s over!” sound byte from Rambo. MasterTape Theater had a clip of Jason Alexander talking about using his karate to keep from getting beat up, and Howard  talked about the Karate Kid stance.

 

On the Satellite Years:  Howard said he liked his other movie, The Perfect Storm.  From MarksFriggin.com:  Howard gave David Hasselhoff some more plugs and talked about Piranha 3DD. David said this is the worst movie ever made. He said it’s a goofy movie with topless women and things like that. Howard said it sounds like something he’d like.  Howard’s mom Ray likened AGT’s Horse guy that gets smacked in the nuts to the Three Stooges.  George Takei was on, so they talked about William Shatner and Star Trek.  Howard talked about watching The Sopranos. Gary the Retard was talking to High Pitch Eric, and Howard said it was like Dumb and Dumber.

Week of 7.15.13  They’re Back Live!

Howie Mandel was in studio. Richard was excited that Howie was the voice of one of the Gremlins.  Talking about AGT, a caller said that Ralph is in every shot, and most times not even with Howard.  He’s with Howie, Mel B and Heidi, but never around Howard.  Robin said it was like Zelig.  Howard met Precious star Gabourey Sidibe at Jimmy Kimmel’s wedding.  He also talked to JJ Abrams about the new Star Wars  and Howard wanted to give him his two cents on making the new movie, so he told him to bring C3Po back.  Robin wonders how he’s going to clean up the Star Wars mess, but Howard said he was able to clean up the Star Trek mess and did a great job.  Friday Night Lights writer and director Peter Berg is dating Whitney Cummings and they both stayed over at Howard’s house.  Robin said she loved that movie and Peter Berg.  Howard said that Edward Snowdon is living in an airport Terminal like in that Tom Hanks’ movie.  Robin is working on a film that’s going to be released in 2014 called Without Hate.  They talked about The Sopranos star James Gandolfini’s estate being worth $70 mil, but with technicalities and taxes it’s now only worth $7 mil.  Robin said she hasn’t watched any of the trials about the pretty girls, but then watched the Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret movie on Lifetime and couldn’t look away.  After the Asiana plane crash and a San Francisco news channel reported prank names of the pilots, Some Ting Wong and Ho Lee Fuk,  Howard likened the pilots to the 3 Stooges.

Barbara Walters announced that Jenny McCarthy is going to be on The View.  Howard said she’ll wear her glasses to become the smart Jenny.  Robin says it’s like Superman.  Ronnie still has his Batman mustache.  They talk about their remake of Sharknado that they’re going to remake: Tard-nado.  Howard wonders how this movie got made and imagines when they pitched this movie to the two loser stars and they each laughed at the other.  Robin was watching Texas Chain Saw Massacre in 3D and heard the song “God Will Fuck You Up” that Red Peters plays.  Howard has never seen any of those movies, and Robin said she doesn’t either, but there’s never anything on TV that’s in 3d that’s any good, so she watched it.

Howard was talking about a story of a man trying to save his son from porn, he said should use porn like kryptonite.  Howard was doing a live read for RIPD and said he loves Jeff Bridges.  Says he was great in Star Man and The Fisher King.  Fred started doing his Richard voice saying he loved him in The Big Lebowski as The Dude.  Fred says Jeff is the West Coast De Niro.  Howard said he’s watched Act of Valor twice it’s so good.  Robert Downey Jr is #1 box office draw because of Iron Man and The Avengers.  Channing Tatum is #2 because of Magic Mike. Howard thinks that was the dumbest idea for a movie ever.  Hugh Jackman was #3 because of Wolverine.  Mark Wahlberg was next, and the Rock was #4 because of the Fast and the Furious movies.  Howard and Robin both loved Taken 2.  Howard said The Grey is really good; Robin hasn’t seen it, but said it makes as much sense as Sharknado.  Then Robin read a woman eaten by shark Jaws-like.

 

The ShuffleTim Burton was in studio and Howard asked him about being under contract for a year while he worked on Superman with Kevin Smith.  Tim said they hadn’t even written the script yet, and the studio and McDonald’s were already working on the merchandising.  They wanted Superman to wear corduroy with flames on the sides, so he backed out.  He joked that Kevin Smith was going to write a different Superman, with his father constantly yelling at him to shut up and sit down.  Howard said he loved Ed Wood, it was the best.  He wondered how they got that made.  Tim said they made him a combination of a ventriloquist dummy and a young Ronald Reagan. He started out as a Disney artist, but his style didn’t fit in.  He was to draw foxes, and his looked like they’d been hit by a car.  Pee Wee Herman gave him his first big break.  Looking at Christopher Lee is like looking at Dracula. Howard asked Tim if he really was going to remake The Man With The X-Ray Eyes.  He said it would be hard to find another washed up actor like Ray Milland.  Robin said he’d worked with Hitchcock and then was in the Thing With 2 Heads with Rosie Greer, where he’s a racist attached to a black man.  The effects are so bad, it’s basically an extra large turtleneck with two holes.  Howard said his Nightmare Before Christmas, Mars Attacks! with a hot Lisa Marie as Elvira, and his Batman are so great.  Tim had said he didn’t like Batman, but that was right after it was made.  He loves it now.  Howard also loves Beetlejuice, says it rocks and that Speilberg pales in comparison.  Said that Saving Private Ryan sucks.  Howard thinks it’s wrong that Tim has never won an award.  Ralph called in to say The Iron Giant is a great movie and Tim said it wasn’t marketed right.  When he made Beetlejuice, the studio wanted him to call it House Ghost.  Pablo Francesco in studio with his movie preview voice, “In a world…”  and he did Arnold Schwarzenegger voice in a preview of Brokeback Mountain 2.

 

During the news, Robin played Josh Hartnett’s 2002 interview when he was hitting the circuit to plug 40 Days and 40 Nights.  Howard and Artie are goofing on how boring and self important he sounds. He’s got what they later called vocal fry.  Artie said he sounds like a witless Steven Wright.  Josh is talking about how he tries to find the balance in his life and figure things out.  Artie says he’s only 23 and already trying to figure things out.  Howard says he flew to India to feed the children with his ear wax.  Artie said he was filming Black Hawk Down while working on the AIDS vaccine.  Robin still really likes Josh Hartnett.  Then Robin played a Hilary Swank interview, and Howard and Artie do the Josh Hartnett show with Hilary as his guest, and they both say things like, “I’m not trying to reinvent the wheel, just trying to find a life that’s full.”  Then Howard says in a Josh Hartnett voice, “Why do they call them ice cubes, why not ice triangles?”

 

Howard played clips from Judgment on IMDb saying that Tom Chiusano could use them as the perfect training film for talking about sex on the radio without getting fined.  It’s a film about a priest being accused of molesting boys.  The boys are in court using words like “pee pee,” “down there” and “kissing his pee pee.”  Howard, Fred and Robin use their best Tom robot voice playing these clips and then giving a staff in-service on this is the way they should talk to not offend anyone and keep the FCC off their backs while still being “funny.”  Howard says Tom would love to hire this boy, and then Robin as Tom says, “This kid really knows how to spin a yarn.”  Also played was the discussion of 2001: A Space Odyssey.   Both Howard and Robin hated it.  Robin was drug there by an old boyfriend, and Howard saw it and hated it, but his friend Dave told him he needed to see it on acid.  So he went back after dropping acid and still hated it, though this time he and his friend Dave were freaked out by the computer talking to Dave on screen.  Howard said the monolith didn’t make any sense, but every time it appeared they moneys got smarter or something big in evolution happened.

 

Week of 7.8.13 Howard Stern’s Geek Week

 

Mark Hammil from Star Wars IV, V & VI was on phone talking to Howard, and Howard said those are the 3 best movies of all time. Mark refused to do his Harrison Ford impression because he says Harrison has a great sense of humor, but not about himself.  Mark says he got points on Star Wars and gets paid on Star Wars merchandise with anything that looks like Luke Skywalker, but if it’s a generic Luke, like a Ken doll, he doesn’t.  Mark said that George Lucas was a genius, as he managed to get the first non-union film made. Then George felt guilty that he made so much money, he gave all the stars a raise.  After Star Wars was filmed, but before it came out, Mark took his hygienist on a date to see Annie Hall to make sure she has a sense of humor.  They’re married now 16 years with 3 kids.  Howard asked if anyone sees Harrison Ford anymore and if Carrie Fisher was a spoiled brat since she had famous parents.  Mark said that he and Carrie started to get together and made out, but decided they shouldn’t go any further, because if it didn’t work out, they were contracted for 3 movies, and it would be awkward.  He said he went to a party with her with a lot of her famous friends, and she was the most normal person there. Mark Hamil was a guest star on Son of the Beach as Divine Rod.  Ralph called in and said that with all the money he spent on Star Wars he should do his Harrison Ford impression. Mark invested his money in real estate, lost a bunch in Texas, now invests in New York City apartments. Craig Gass was in studio as Sam Kinison, and said that he wanted to do Son of the Beach guest star role, too.  Howard said he could be a dead body washing up on shore, and Robin said it could be like Weekend at Bernie’s (Sam’s)

 

Adam West from the 60′s Batman TV Series called in when Batman with Michael Keaton was released. Adam West said he hasn’t seen the new movie, but if he had read the script, he wouldn’t have accepted.  Adam said this Batman was too dark; his Batman was lighthearted.  Caesar Romero was the Joker in the 60′s series, and he’d made the comment that he didn’t like this new Batman movie because it was too dark. Adam West was in Lady Chatterly’s Lover with Richard Belzer’s wife.  Adam said all the sex was simulated.  After Adam hung, up, Howard said Adam must be crying himself to sleep every night because he didn’t get to be in the new movie.  Michael Keaton gets a big paycheck, and Robin said then he’d sign for another sequel, then another, then another.  Later, when Michael Keaton turned down the sequel, Howard thought he was insane, and predicted he’d never have a career after that.  Howard said that the creator of Batman didn’t get credit or money for his work, but did get a mention in the credits.

 

Batman and Robin with Arnold Schwarzenegger was too light for Howard.  There was a rumor started that Howard was going to play the Scarecrow in the next movie, but Howard said the last movie was was too light,.  He said the first Tim Burton’s Batman was great , the 2nd not so good, and the 3rd, Batman and Robin was a joke.  He said he’d only play the Scarecrow if it was darker than the last movie.

 

Stan Lee called in when Spider-Man was released and Howard was so upset that Stan didn’t get writing credits . He thinks Stan Lee should have a lot more money than he has.  Stan says he’s doing just fine.  He still works for Marvel comics.  Howard said that Toby McGuire was an excellent Spider-Man. Kristen Dunst wasn’t overly beautiful, just like a real person.  Howard liked entire film. Jay Jonah Jamison, who was the guy from Oz was great, and Robin said he had the best line in the movie.  Howard asked Stan what he thought about the web being organic rather than being invented, and Stan said he thought it worked better visually.  He said James Cameron had been going to direct it first, and had told Stan that he’d planned on making the web shoot out from his fingers as well, and Stan said that these people know film making and know what works visually. Howard thought Willem Dafoe was a little over the top.  Howard, Robin and Artie both thought it was great when he discovered his powers.  Artie thought the love story at the end was weird, but Howard said that’s the story.  Howard and Gary gave the first Spider-Man 3.5 stars, Artie 3.0 stars, and Robin gave it 2.5 stars.

 

The weekend Spider-Man made phenomenal box office and everyone on air loved it.  Robin said people were disappointed with Harry Potter and Howard said he liked that one.  George Takei said that he had to take a leave from filming the Star Trek series to make Green Beret.  They hired Walter Koenig and gave him George’s parts while he was gone.  Steve Brandano says that V for Vendetta is good. Robin said that Howard had seen it, and then Howard remembered and said it was good.

 

Lord of the Rings 3rd one just came out. Howard hated the first one, and hasn’t seen the 2nd one yet, but he feels like he’ll have to see it.. Gary didn’t understand it, either.  Gary’s started to watch the 2nd movie and only got 40 minutes into it.  Robin loved every one of these movies.  Howard thinks everyone is putting him on saying it’s so great, saying it’s a masterpiece.  Gary said there’s a gay undertone to these movies, especially the guys with the long blonde hair.  Fred plays the Deliverance pig sound.  Lots of hot chicks, but nobody gets laid.  Gary said it makes no sense.  There’s a guy that supposedly can’t get killed, and then he gets killed.  Howard wanted to hang himself after Liv Tyler’s speech in the first movie.

 

Howard thinks Green Lantern looks like it’s going to be really good.  Robin said she saw The Avengers, and loved the Hulk in that movie.  Howard hates Captain America, said he doesn’t have much to do in this movie.  Asking Robin F, Marry, Kill, Robin answered:   Kill Spider Man, Marry Iron Man, Fuck the Hulk, but the one that was portrayed in The Avengers..  They played a Star Trek TV Series trivia contest.  Howard loved Kenneth Branagh’s Thor. Said Loki was great, as was Anthony Hopkins.  The weakest part was Natalie Portman.  Howard hadn’t liked the comic book.  Howard said there’s a great movie he saw on TV called Superhero Movie with Tracy Morgan. It has a guy bitten by a dragonfly.  The mom from Happy Days is lying on the couch farting as the Aunt May character while he’s trying to make out with his girlfriend.

 

Fred special was rerun on Monday night: The Power of Drops.  He played played the “Redrum” clip from The Shining, “Ack!Ack! from Mars Attacks, both he uses whenever Eric the Actor calls in.  Right before Eric shouts out “I’m club fucking footed, you asswipe!” Robin and Howard were talking about how weird his feet were, and Robin said he’s put together like Jeff Goldblum’s brindle fly in The Fly.  He played lots of George Takei sound bytes.  One was his talking about wrestling, and Howard said that whenever gay men talk about having sex, they always start out wresting.  He said that it’s like Brokeback Mountain, where the guys start out wresting, and then suddenly are in someone’s ass.  He played the “Fuck You!” “Bullshit” “Do you think it takes talent to play Frankenstein. Dracula it’s all in the eyes” and “Karloff doesn’t deserve to smell my shit!” all from Martin Landau’s Bela Lugosi, and Johnny Depp’s “I like to dress in women’s clothing” all from Ed Wood.  He played OJ Simpson when Gary drug him in for an interview when Naked Gun 33-1/3, The Final Insult, which OJ said was going to be called Beating a Dead Horse.  Fred got lots of great sound bytes from that interview.  He played John Vernon as Dean Wormer saying “0.0″ from  Animal House.  The smelly vagina smell Fred plays is from the 1932 Our Gang’s The Birthday Blues.  Howard was talking about a woman’s pubic hair is made to smell to attract men, and Robin said that reminded her a scene from Quest for Fire.  The Richard Crenna’s “It’s Over, Johnny.  It’s over!” from First Blood, the first Rambo movie.  He played Christian Bale’s “Oh, good for you!” outburst during the Terminator Salvation, the Deliverance pig sounds of Ned Beatty, and the Baba Booey “I want you back tape” that was cut into the Jerry Maguire Booey Maguire song.

 

Tuesday, there was a long segment with going to the screening of Superman Returns.  Besides Ralph’s review as Howard’s dad that he was disappointed; it was “a little long and a little extraneous.”   they never said if they liked the film.  Talk was mostly about who was invited, who ended up sitting where, who irritated Howard.  During a Geek Trivia contest, Gary says one of the questions is dumber than The Phantom Menace.  Tobey Maguire called in to talk about Spider-Man.  Robin asked about the rumor that he had had an affair with Kirsten Dunst, which he neither confirmed or denied. Howard said he should get Sam Rami to kill off Kirsten Dunst and bring in another hot chick to act with.  Howard said that Spider-Man should be in every movie.  Howard said he’s still the bigger star than Tobey Maguire.  Artie said he always thinks of Wonder Boys when he thinks of Tobey.  Tobey talked about his back problems that he’d had, but got worse while he was making Seabiscuit.  There were rumors that Jake Gyllenhaal was going to take over for Tobey when his back was so bad, but Artie cut in that Jake couldn’t have played Spider-Man because he got fucked in the ass in that movie (Brokeback Mountain) and no superhero could ever do that.  He said that maybe if he’d been the top it would have been ok, but he was a bottom!

 

Jon Favreau was on phone, and Howard gave him a standing O without the O for how good Iron Man is.  Howard thought it was great that he went with Robert Downey Jr, as he was just coming back from his drug problems.  Howard had told him Speed Racer would suck, because nobody cared.  Jon also directed Artie in Elf.  Jon was worried what Howard would think, because he knew he loved Spider-Man so much.  Howard said the costume for this was great.  Jon sent Howard an Iron Mask toy, and Howard was kind of insulted.  Then he sent a mask, and Ralph said it wasn’t used in the movie, just a double of the mold. And then he found out that Ralph was given the same helmet.  Howard did get the Senator Stern nameplate. Robin wonders if her friend who has a room full of Terminator stuff if it’s all worthless as well.  She thinks that stuff is better than Ralph’s.  Howard asked if he was worried Robert Downey would have a relapse now that he’s successful.  Jon said that he talked to Ben Stiller about working with Robert Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder, and told him he’s the real deal. The next movie he’s releasing is Cowboys and Aliens, and Howard asked if he could have something from that movie.  Jon Hein and Richard Christy talking on the Wrap-Up Show said they loved District 9.

 

Kevin Smith was on the phone talking about when he was writing a script from the graphic novel Death of Superman, which Howard said was great, and wanted to follow that story.  He said he wrote two drafts of the script.  Jon Peters was producer, and said to Kevin that it will be so great because they were men of the streets.  Kevin said that he’s a writer and Jon was a hairdresser, so that they were hardly men of the street.  Kevin said the script was 75% dialogue, and they ended up taking lots of the dialogue out, so he was out.  He said he had been very disappointed in Batman and Robin, especially after the first Tim Burton Batman was so great.  It was like the gay ice capades, but didn’t think it was Arnold’s or Uma’s fault.  He agreed that Christopher Reeve’s Superman was great, and the 2nd movie was crap.  Howard was going to see Chasing Amy that night, but heard it was good.  Robin said she loved ClerksJason Kaplan tweeted:  To anyone who’s ever read ‘Death of Superman’ this is a must watch:  The Death and Return of Superman Video   A somewhat-mostly-accurate educational parody film by Max Landis. [Darosthemovie]

 

Tim Burton was in studio and Howard asked him about being under contract for a year while he worked on Superman with Kevin Smith.  Tim said they hadn’t even written the script yet, and the studio and McDonald’s were already working on the merchandising.  They wanted Superman to wear corduroy with flames on the sides, so he backed out.  He joked that Kevin Smith was going to write a different Superman, with his father constantly yelling at him to shut up and sit down.  Howard said he loved Ed Wood, it was the best.  He wondered how they got that made.  Tim said they made him a combination of a ventriloquist dummy and a young Ronald Reagan. He started out as a Disney artist, but his style didn’t fit in.  He was to draw foxes, and his looked like they’d been hit by a car.  Pee Wee Herman gave him his first big break.  Looking at Christopher Lee is like looking at Dracula. Howard asked Tim if he really was going to remake The Man With The X-Ray Eyes.  He said it would be hard to find another washed up actor like Ray Milland.  Robin said he’d worked with Hitchcock and then was in the Thing With 2 Heads with Rosie Greer, where he’s a racist attached to a black man.  The effects are so bad, it’s basically an extra large turtleneck with two holes.  Howard said his Nightmare Before Christmas, Mars Attacks! with a hot Lisa Marie as Elvira, and his Batman are so great.  Tim had said he didn’t like Batman, but that was right after it was made.  He loves it now.  Howard also loves Beetlejuice, says it rocks and that Speilberg pales in comparison.  Said that Saving Private Ryan sucks.  Howard thinks it’s wrong that Tim has never won an award.  Ralph called in to say The Iron Giant is a great movie and Tim said it wasn’t marketed right.  When he made Beetlejuice, the studio wanted him to call it House Ghost.  The Justice Leage of America never got made, but Howard said the cartoon was fun to watch.  He doesn’t like Wonderwoman or the other alien guy.

 

Wednesday they were discussing the re-release of Star Wars with additional deleted scenes and better effects and Grillo went to see it. Howard and Robin were making fun of him, as he says he’s seen the movie over 100 times.  They asked Grillo if all the extra stuff added to the story, and Grillo said no, but there were some cool background scenes and Jaba the Hut and the puppet next to him had eyes.  He used to be a puppet, and now it’s all digital.  These extra 3 minutes didn’t advance the story, but “it’s all visually and stuff.”  Grillo said they were making him feel like a douche bag, and Howard said he was a douche bag.   Howard asked Grillo to recite some lines from the film while Fred plays sound effect from the movies while doing Grillo’s voice at the same time.  Grillo said there was a “floor “in the movie, mispronouncing flaw.  He says when Luke comes out she yells Carrie instead of Leia,  Nothing like breaking the illusion. Howard can’t believe they didn’t fix that with all the remastering Lucas said he did; not like they were really paying attention to detail.  The movie made 36 mil with this extra 3 minutes and it didn’t change a goddamn thing.   Then they talk talk about the rest of the audience.  They can’t believe that many people would pay to see the same movie.  They stood in line with light sabers and in costume-all the retards.    Then they were cheering and booing like Rocky Horror Picture Show. Howard said to give the audience the credit, or lack of credit.  Does the audience look around and feel embarrassed when see all the other people they’re sitting with? Howard said all the money made is gravy, as the movie was made years ago.  Grillo said his dream is to be in one of those movies someday.  Howard said his life goal, and he’s got the brain of a bubble.  Calls him Grillo (Gorillos in the Mist)  Howard says he’s Forrest Gump with an opinion.  A caller asked if Howard was worried about Return of the Jedi coming out the same day as Private Parts, and Howard said Lucas could put out a ton of pictures and his will still kick his ass.  They could put a pecker on Hans Solo, and he’d still win at the box office.  Robin said they’re re-releasing the Godfather trilogy soon, too with no extra footage.

 

Mark Hammil called in after the first Star Wars 1 was released and wouldn’t say how bad it was, but he laughed whenever Howard said how much it sucked.  Mark was saying George Lucas had always had this 2nd trilogy in min, and even is saying there will be a 3rd trilogy.  Howard said he doubts George would have had the entire plan in his head all these years ago, but Mark insisted.  Howard said they must have planned to make the Flashdance trilogy.  Ralph came in to give a Star Trek quiz to Howard and Robin.

 

Wolverine‘s Hugh Jackman was in studio, and Howard said it was a great movie.  Howard was talking about him showing his dick in the movie, and mentioned Richard Gere made the classic mistake in the movie Breathless. He showed his dick, and it was really small.  They talked about his bulking up, and he said he didn’t take any steroids; said no movie was worth his balls shrinking.  Howard said he lifts weights also; he can lift 95 lbs. He turned down the Richard Gere part in Chicago.  He made the movie Australia, and Oprah really liked it, and now they’re friends on Twitter.

 

Thursday Howard talked about the Superman curse, as Lois Lane is in a wheelchair like Christopher Reeve, and she’s broke now.  Richard Pryor is a mess and Marlon Brando is nuts.  Howard doesn’t like how he’s able to kiss Lois Lane and make her forget, and Ralph said that Superman‘s glasses hypnotize people so they don’t recognize Clark Kent.  Howard says none of that is in the comic book.  Howard says Superman 3 is awful, and Robin said it’s great.  Howard says Fartman is more Austin Powers than Austin Powers.  Howard said the Spawn movie tanked, but he loved the comic book.  Corey Feldman was at Comicon from being in Lost Boys.  Howard said it was a really good movie, but was surprised people would line up to see him at a convention.  On the Wrap Up show, Jason said Wolverine wasn’t very good.  Howard’s excited about the Green Lantern movie, and he and Jason know the oath/speech.  Howard and Robin were both skeptical about Scott Bakula getting the captain role in Ster Trek: Enterprise (TV Series)  but said he really loved him in the role.  Howard thinks Jolene Blalock is the most beautiful woman ever, and wonders why all Vulcans have to have a Moe haircut. He loved the scene where she’s getting decontaminated and has her hands down her pants.  Howard loved Super 8, and Artie loved Cider House Rules.

 

JJ Abram’s father also was in the business.  He had worked on the Don Johnson film Ski Lift To Death back when Don Johnson was fully shaved.  JJ also wrote Taking Care of Business with Jim Belushi and Charles Grodin that wasn’t successful.  JJ also worked on Casper which Howard says proved he’s not a genius.  He says Speilberg approached him to direct War of the Worlds, but JJ was already committed to the pilot episode of Lost.  He also wrote Regarding Henry.  They were goofing on Gadget Gary being on Geraldo talking about computer gadgets and saying Avatar being a good story.

Tom Adelsbach of SternFacebook Superfans World War “P”:

 

Week of 7.1.13  Brush With The Law Week

 

Eric Douglas, the son of Kirk and brother of Michael was in studio, and Fatal Attraction and Basic Instinct were mentioned.  Eric said because of him Michael was able to get Glenn Close for Fatal Attraction.  Robert Downey Jr. was in and they talked of working with Val Kilmer in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.  Nicky Barnes was on the phone and they talked of  American Gangster.  Artie said that Cuba Gooding Jr played NIcky as kind of a weasle-creep.  They said the movie should have been made about his life in Witness Protection.  New Jack City was also loosely based on Nicky’s life story.   Nicole Bass was on the phone and Fred did his Munsters laugh and played the Perry Mason theme song.  Casino with Sharon Stone when she was giving Joe Pesci a blow job was mentioned, as was The Falcon and the Snowman and Midnight Express as the scariest story ever of being put in a foreign prison.

 

Artie tells his attempted bank robbery story, and he talks about his note that he thought was a joke like  Take the Money and Run.  He then tells the story of having been arrested for fighting at a Burger King and then having to go to work as a waiter, taking an order and the patron looks at him and screams because blood is pouring out of his nose.  Howard says it’s like The Sopranos guy doing coke while taking orders, and that Artie lived like Goodfellas or The Godfather, and Fred plays The Godfather music throughout the story.  Mark Wahlberg was in to plug Ted, which Gary and Ritchie Wilson said was hysterical; Gary said he almost pissed his pants.  Christian Slater interview was played, and Howard said he loved True Romance.  Joey Buttafuoko was on the phone talking about being in prison, and Howard asked if he was working with birds like the Birdman of Alcatraz, Fred played sound bytes from Austin Powers during blow job stories.  Riley Martin was talking about his jail time, and Robin mentioned Misery.  Dominic Barbara the bloated attorney thought that Angelo Martinez sounded like Al Pacino in Carlito’s Way.

 

All week long during prison stories, Fred plays the pig rape sounds from Deliverance.  During Guess Who’s Under House Arrest, Artie mentions Vin Diesel’s Fast and Furious.  Mel Gibson’s interview after his yelled anti Semitic slurs against policemen was played.  He was saying that he has no control of what he says after a few drinks, which Howard says no one would say anything like that if it wasn’t in his mind already, no matter how drunk they were.  Robin said he’s trying to say he’s like The Hulk, having no control and waking up later with his pants all torn.

 

 

Picture by DocIvan with Beetlejuice as The Girl (Beet) with the Pearl Earring    Not sure what Doc Ivan’s inspiration for this movie poster was, but it’s brilliant.

 

On the Howard 100 News, JD gave Cloud Atlas 4 out of 5 “ums.”  He said Halle Barry and Tom Hanks were good, but Hugh Grant plays a really bad guy and steals the show.  He said it’s a bunch of stories that turn out to be connected and each actor plays different roles.  Steve Brandano tweeted that The Bank Job is a fun movie that a lot of people missed.  Ralph tweeted that the first Fantastic Four sucked, and he really liked the 2nd one.  GEEKTIME! rewind Ralph talked to Peter Weller about how great RoboCop and Star Trek Into Darkness are.

 

From SternFacebookSuperfans!! Luis Valencia found the Our Gang clip Fred plays for a foul smelling pussy, and Ann Hirsch posted that the 40′s movie Moontide around the 1:18 mark has the line “Bobo aint so dumb after all”

 

 

 

Week of 6.24.13

 

Monday, Howard started the day talking about Slim Whitman’s death over the weekend. He said that he and Fred had to write a bit for their show years ago, way before Robin.  They were at WNBC, and they were pressuring them to write bits like Imus did.  There were so many Slim Whitman commercials on TV, they came up with the idea that aliens attacked and died after being played some Slim Whitman song.  Years later, Tim Burton made the movie Mars Attacks! that the aliens come and are kicking butt and then the movie happens to end the same way.  The aliens explode after hearing a Slim Whitman song.  The hero’s name who discovers the aliens weakness is named Ritchie Norris-a possible shout out? Howard said he’s never spoken to Tim about it. Fred  plays the ack ack sounds from the movie while Howard’s talking.  Howard says they should get some credit for that, that somebody must have liked that bit and put it in a movie.  Howard says it drives him crazy that they didn’t get credit for it.  Howard said nobody saw that movie anyway, but Robin said that everybody knows that movie. Howard said they should have gotten paid, and Fred says they deserved at least a stipend.
Howard says there’s a SiriusXM mention in World War Z.   Howard saw it but wonders if Robin did.  She says she thinks she heard it, but can’t remember. Howard said it wasn’t something she could have heard. It was a visual in the opening credits they are at the stock market and stock quotes are scrolling by and they show SIRI, which is the SiriusXM stock symbol.  They played a bit where they took sounds of Bobo saying “Bobo’s not so stupid” and “We’re trapped like rats!” and cut into a preview of WWZ.  Howard liked the movie, said he had fun with it and it’s kind of cool.  He said the only problem is that there are too many zombie movies out now, and The Walking Dead does it so good.  Robin said that they didn’t get up close and personal with the zombies. She said you want to know where zombies came from. Everyone in the movie seemed to accept that there were zombies. Mel Brooks’ son wrote that movie. Howard said he’s always surprised when a kid of a celebrity goes into show business and do well, because you always think they’ll be ne’er-do wells.  Howard said he was watching a Mel Brooks salute, and Robin said she had been watching a Marilyn Monroe documentary that was based on her writings, and it was really poignant.  Robin said she was really naturally beautiful. Howard said she’d be fat by today’s standards, but Robin said when she was young she was thin, voluptuous and beautiful.
Howard says that True Blood is continuing to waste his time.  Says it kind of sucked. That it lost its way, maybe it’s been on too long.  It couldn’t wrap up so many characters.  Howard talked about the death of James Gandolfini. Howard said it was so wrong that the last pictures were from his last meal.  The pictures were like he’s in the zoo, and they analyzed everything he ate.  Howard said he had some odd encounters with James Gandolfini when he got a letter from him after Howard had made a comment that he must always be calling the press to get all these pictures of him playing with his kids.  Howard said Gandolfini was right to call him out about him saying he must have called people to see him be a great dad.  Howard doesn’t buy it that The Sopranos glorifies violence. Howard and Robin think James Gandolfini was great in the role, and the whole series was great.  Robin says a movie can’t glorify violence if you end up killing your friends.  Howard played some of Jon Hein’s special that aired over the weekend about Gandolfini, and part of it was Steve Grillo talking about being a stand-in and getting a role as a pizza customer with a scene.  Jon asked him questions about working with Gandolfini and Grillo called him “Jim,” saying what a great guy he was, like they were best friends, so Howard goofed on that.
Howard said he saw Flight with Denzel Washington and said he did a really good job. Howard said he should have been nominated for an award. Robin said he ways, but Daniel Day-Lewis won. Howard said Denzel’s was a much better performance than Daniel’s in Lincoln. Denzel plays an alcoholic pilot.  Robin loves the Hannibal Lechter show.  Howard says he’s going to have to see Before Midnight if the review that he’s reading for the live commercial read says that “if I could only go to the theaters 2 times this summer, I would see this movie twice.”  Howard says that’s the best review of a movie ever, so he needs to see it.  As Robin news starts, Howard talks about the parade music from Guatemala being close to the parade music from Godfather 2.  Gary says it’s Godfather 1.  It’s the parade after the wedding in Italy where he marries the girl with the great tits.

 

Howard said that there were 156 babies this year named Khalisi from Game of Thrones this year. Robin says death to the Starks. Howard doesn’t like the girl that’s lost in the woods.  Why can’t she get home already? Jon Hein says he knows what that girl with her face all fucked up in the dungeon is about because he read the book. Howard said that reading books ruins everything.  Later Howard said he loved Under the Dome and that Robin needs to see it. A caller said he’s almost through the book, and Howard again says reading books ruins everything.
Howard wants to redo the song American Nightmare from Private Parts. He ended up whispering the words because he couldn’t growl the words like Rob Zombie wanted him to.  The writer of the movie wanted Howard to relax to be able to act, so he ordered a ping pong table to be brought in.  Howard doesn’t like ping pong, but it just so happened that the writer loved ping pong, and ended up playing it the whole time.  Howard learned how to act by watching a 10 minute Meryl Streep interview with  Roger Ebert on how to act. Everyone thought it was the ping pong table but it was Meryl Streep.

 

Howard loves Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura.  Now Jim Carery’s coming out against his next movie, Kick Ass 2, because he says now it’s too violent.  Howard said Jim read the statement out of his ass.  Howard and Robin think something’s going on because it’s the same script he  Jim read when he decided to do the film, and there had been plenty of gun then,  so it still doesn’t make any sense.  Psych and Little Mikey did Robin song parodies to The Sopranos theme. Sales of The Sopranos DVD are top-selling. Howard says who are these maniacs who buy up everything by people who die, but says he’s wanting to watch them as well. The cast of Sopranos is upset with Joey G for giving interviews about James Gandolfini, since they hadn’t spoken in 7 years.  He actually called in the next day to say he wasn’t looking for publicity.  He had said it was crap that the reporters had focused on what James had been eating the night before he died, and they got mad at him and said that he was giving all these interviews.  He said he told each interview that he and James were never close, but they worked together and appreciated each other.  TV Reviewer David Hinkley wrote a review of the last season of Dexter and has lots of spoilers in it so Howard and Robin won’t read. Howard loves the show and says the sister is really insanely hot, and he thinks they’ll end up fucking. He says that’s where they’re going with the story.  The creator of Family Ties TV show, Gary David Goldberg died.  That was the show that Michael J. Fox played Alex P. Keaton.  JD tweeted that he has one reason not to see Taken 3, and that was Taken 2.

 

Started Wednesday’s show with the clip from Ed Wood, with Martin Landau yelling “Karloff doesn’t deserve to smell my shit!” and “Bullshit!”Larry King was in studio and he said his first film was a role in Ghostbusters.  Ivan Reitman had no idea how to make a movie where the special effects were brought in after they filmed the scene.  Bill Murray had taken the role written for John Belushi, and out of respect for John, Bill said every line the way it had been written for John.  Larry King was in studio and said during the filming of Bee, he got into a limo that was driven by a Teamster who told him that all mobile things connected with this film were under a Teamster contract.  When Larry asked what would happen if they hired someone not in the Teamsters, and the driver just laughed.  Larry said he was also in the movie Bee Movie with Jerry Seinfield, who was coming into the studio next. Howard said that his favorite Seinfeld episodes are when Kramer gets the Merv Griffin set for his living room, when George takes off his bathing suit and reveals his small penis and the masturbation episode. Howard asked if Rosie O’donnell had auditioned for the Elaine part, and Jerry couldn’t remember as there had been so many people that auditioned.  Larry David had left before the final 2 seasons, and Jerry said he probably could have continued the show longer if Larry had stayed, but that it worked out great.  He says he has a great sense of timing with his comedy and life and knew it was time.  He was grateful that Larry left when he did because it gave him the chance to run the entire show by himself for 2 years.  It was crazy but he did it. Howard said it was great that Jerry hired Michael Richards for Kramer, because he had been this crazy comic who was great on the Fridays show, but no one knew how to put that comic genius to work and use his talent correctly.  Jerry said that Michael took that character to the limit and he was great. Howard said another comic who hasn’t had that kind of chance to show his genius in TV or movies is Martin Short, and Jerry said he could have done the Kramer part well, too, but Michael was brilliant.

 

Robin again argued that Brad Pitt is not a movie star because he’s never opened a movie grossing more than $200,000,000.  Howard disagrees.  He says he was in more artsy movies that didn’t make much money, but Brad Pitt still puts the audience in seats.  He said he was great in Interview With a Vampire, but Robin said that Tom Cruise was the star in that movie.  Howard said yes, but Brad Pitt was still great and is a movie star.  Robin said she had failed to fulfill human’s prime directive.  They played bit of Beetlejuice in the Sopranos and Bobo in WWZ.  Howard and Robin talked about the Godfather and Sopranos how they kill all these people and never go to jail.

 

Howard said looks like Pacific Rim   is about robots fighting aliens that come out of the sea, so he’ll be going to see it.  On the Shuttle, they played JD contrasted with Napoleon Dynamite sound bytes.  Steve Brandano tweeted that  The Bank Job “…is a fun movie that a lot of people missed.”

 

This Date in Howard History:  Keanu Reeves is in studio with his band, Dog Star. Howard asked him if it was true he turned down $11 million to be in Speed 2.  Howard asked if he went to watch the movie and goof on it, saying that the producers think it was Sandra Bullock that made the movie so good, but it was me!  Keanu said he hadn’t seen it yet, but one of his bandmates said it sucked.  Keneau said he had read the script and turned it down.  Howard said he would have taken the 11 million without even reading the script.  Keanu said he watched Private Parts for a 2nd time the night before and it is a cool movie.  He says Paul Giamotti is great; he’s got liquid coming out of his mouth and everything.  Howard asked him about working with River Phoenix and having to kiss him in My Own Private Idaho.  He just finished filming The Devil’s Advocate with Al Pacino.

 

Thanks to Mutt for the heads-up when this interview replayed: Howard had Arnold Schwarzenegger on the phone when Terminator 2 was coming out.  Howard, Robin and Fred loved it. Howard said they were all blown away.  Howard said it cost $88 million, and you could see $50 million in the first few minutes of the movie, the special effects are that good.  He asked Arnold if he laughs at Ishtar that cost $65 million and it looked like Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty just videotaped themselves.  Howard predicts that it will beat Robin Hood.  Howard said that he’s good at predicting box office,and Arnold remembered that Howard had predicted Total Recall would make $25 million and it made $25.8 million, so Howard’s predictions are close.  Arnold said he made Conan and he was excited that it did well, but then each film he’s done since has gotten better and better. Howard said that Predator 2 didn’t work without Arnold.  Norm McDonald called in and said he was writing a bad movie.  Howard suggest he name it Austin Powers or Speed 3.   Speed 2 had just come out and Howard had goofed on it.

 

On GEEDTIME! Ralph said that Maniac was good, and he talked to Jason Statham and raved about White House Down.  Said it was really good.

 

Week of 6.17.13

 

Monday started with Howard and Robin both talking about seeing Man of Steel.  They both liked it, Robin said it was really good.  Howard said Superman is good-looking, and Beth and her friend thought he was really good looking.  He thought Lois Lane’s part was written horribly, and it wasn’t Amy Adams’ fault.  Ralph disagreed and thought that it was the best depiction of Lois to date.  Howard thought there was no romance this time between Superman and Lois.  He says Lois shouldn’t be blonde.  He liked it, though he hated the storytelling; again with the same story over and over,  and the theater, which was really cold.  Howard’s talking about legislation to make advertised movie start time be the actual start time.  Howard’s all for that, as he said he had to sit through two Lone Ranger previews.  He thinks Johnny Depp’s make up is worse than blackface, though he says he’ll see it. Wonders why they didn’t hire an Indian to play the role, rather than what looks like the Indian in the village people? Man of Steel was #1 at the box office, with This is the End 2nd, which is what Seth Rogen predicted and said he’d be happy with.  Howard liked first episode of this season’s  True Blood and he and Robin said it was good.

 

Scott Thorson, Liberace’s boyfriend was in studio.  He’s the one that wrote the autobiography Behind the Candelabra, and Howard tells him his problem with portraying Liberace as a vampire.  They were both impressed with Matt Damon’s on screen ass-screwing to Michael Douglas.  Howard thinks JD should get surgery to look like him.   Scott said Dan Akroyd was great, and the makeup alone on Debbie Reynolds should win awards.  Thanks to Marksfriggin for a complete summary of the interview.  During a live commercial read for Before Midnight, Howard asked Robin about this movie, and Robin said that, yes, she’d been following the two lead characters Jesse and Celine for years, so she must have liked the other two movies, Before Sunset and Before Sunrise.  King of All Blacks says that Chris Rock will ruin the next Adam Sandler movie Grown Ups 2, as he did the last one,Grown Ups.  Howard said he didn’t ruin it, but King said he tried.  Said he’s great at stand-up, but in movies he moves his arms weird.  Chris Rock was in studio the next day and he said that Grown Ups 2 is better than the first one.  Ronnie still has his Batmund moustache.

 

Tuesday, Howard started the show talking about watching The Bachelorette and how crazy it makes him.  He has to pause it constantly just to yell at the screen. How can all these men afford to take a year off? How are they crying about these girls after one date?  He says that Beth is getting a great education from him as to why these guys are all douches.  Richard went to the premier of World War Z and Brad Pitt was there and got up and introduced the movie.  Richard said the movie kicked ass.  Robin remembered that Richard had that poster of Brad Pitt from Legends of the Fall on his wall, and is way in love with him.  Ralph tweeted that World War Z was “Overall pretty good…had some GREAT moments but lacked “BITE”…DEF would recommend seeing it in the theater.”  Then he later said it wasn’t just good, it was “VERY GOOD.”  On Jackie’s Joke Hunt, Jackie says he’s done filming Send No Flowers and he’s actually excited that he gets more than 2 lines in this one.

 

Nick Cannon was in studio with Howard talking AGT and to plug his new series Wild N Out.  Howard asked him about his renewal of vows with Mariah Carey at Disneyland dressed like Prince Charming and Cinderella, and they did it in front of the Snow White‘s castle and it cost at least $65,000.  Robin said Nick’s like Zelig, as he’s in and done everything.  During Robin’s news, there was a story about a weatherman getting picked up for domestic violence, and Howard said they should make a movie about an angry weatherman, and Gary said that Nicolas Cage is in The Weatherman about just that.  Howard said he needs to see it. Julia Sweeney was interviewed and said that Steven Seagal was the worst guest host ever on SNL.  Robin said his early movies were great and he was great, and now the stories about him as a crazy man now are even greater.  She doesn’t know what happened to him.  The sound bytes for Robin’s news weren’t loaded correctly.  Howard and Fred sing the theme song from The Three Stooges while Scott the Engineer walks in slowly and defeated, looks at Howard’s board and says “I don’t know.”

 

Howard says he saw Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters and he liked it.  He knows it’s a bad movie, but he really liked it.  If he would have seen it in theaters he would have hated it.  Anybody killing witches has to be good.  Mutt tweeted it was horrible, but that Jack the Giant Slayer was great.  Robin said she didn’t see it, either, as she’s heard it’s so bad.  She said critics did the same thing with After Earth.  She says the critics must hate Will Smith, as they call it After Boredom, but she’d seen it and it wasn’t that bad.  Howard said Carrie Fisher always talks about her addictions, like that’s the only thing that’s keeping her famous. He wonders does she think it’s cool? He said he was never into Princess Leah; he never thought she was so hot when all the Star Wars fans thought she was so great.  Eric called in admitting he was “Derek” and Fred was back to his Mars Attacks! sound effects.  Selma Blair has said Charlie Sheen is out of control on the TV series Anger Management.  She says he shows up 3 hours late and he’s the executive producer.  Howard wondered how Selma could think he was NOT out of control?  Jon Hein said it’s not doing well in the ratings. Talking about Ryan Seacrest breaking up with his girlfriend and Robin said she had a friend who went out with Ryan and got sick like Kim Basinger in that movie where she throws up in a plant-don’t know which movie that is.

 

On the Shuffle, a guy called in who had been in a waterskiing/barbed wire accident and lost his penis.  Fred started playing the Robert De Niro laugh from Cape Fear and Jackie sang “Memories” from The Way We Were. Howard asked him if he how long he dated a girl before he told her he had no penis, and wondered if he was like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman and doesn’t give it to her for 3 days.  They played a Brett Michaels of Poison interview when he was talking about producing 3 movies, one with Charlie & Martin Sheen No Code of Conduct and Free Money with Marlon Brando and Charlie & Martin Sheen.  He also wrote produced and directed  A Letter from Death Row also with Martin Sheen.  Howard wondered what the movies are coming to if the guy from Poison is making movies.

 

Someone sent in a clip from this movie saying the voice of Roz, done by Bob Peterson, Monsters, Inc. IMDb sounded like Eric the Midget.  Robin said Eric was a caller back then, so Howard said that the movie ripped Eric off.

 

6.19 James Gandolfini from The Soprano and True Romance died suddenly. Jon Hein did a special honoring him on Friday, 6.21.

 

Steve Brandano tweeted that he liked World War Z and that Robin’s wrong. Brad Pitt is a bonafide movie star.

 

Stern Facebook Superfans tweeted an Image by Tom Adelsbacha picture of Sal in a posted for World War “P”:

 

On GEEKTIME! Ralph said they’re making a sequel to  Prometheus has some really great moments.  He said it really makes the audience think and gets better with multiple watchings.  He said it got such mixed reviews because too many people were thinking it would be an alien movie.  The movie makers said they are still trying to crack the story and to figure out where the sequel will go.  Terence Stamp was in studio, and Ralph said that one of his favorite movies of his is Steven Soderbergh‘s   Limey.  His new movie is Unfinished Song, which he stars in with Vanessa Redgrave.  He said he turned down a chance to work with Vanessa Redgrave in Camelot, so when the chance to play opposite her came up and his name in the movie’s Arthur and he has to sing, he figured it was life coming full circle.  JD posted that he loved Cloud Atlas.

 

Week of 6.10.13

 

First thing Monday morning Ronnie gets shaved:

 

 

Seth Rogen is in studio, and Howard tells him that This Is The End is really good.  It’s about Seth Rogen and James Franco with a bunch of other empty-headed Hollywood people at James’ house when the world ends.  Howard says James Franco plays a guy who is constantly ready to suck Seth Rogen’s dick, as Seth’s the writer who gets James all his jobs.  Howard asked if their real life relationship was like that, and Seth said it goes both ways.  Howard asked Seth about the story that Barbra Streisand’s son was jealous of her relationship with Seth during the filming of The Guilt Trip. Seth said that James Franco really drank piss, like Divine ate shit in Pink Flamingos, which Howard saw when he was high at a midnight showing and it was too much for him and freaked him out.  Emma Watson from Harry Potter movies is in Seth’s movie and he says she’s really small and very pretty, though he realized she was going to be hot in the first Harry Potter movie.  Seth called that the pervy moment for the world when everyone realized she was going to be hot.  Seth said she was great in the Perks of Being a Wallflower.   Howard asked Seth if he was worried that he might get an X rating for this movie, and Seth said they’d heard that Team America got their sex scenes by the censors by filming it much more graphic than they wanted, knowing the censors would tell them to tone it down to what they wanted originally.  Seth said there is a scene where the devil is fucking Jonah Hill and they show his penis, so they decided to make it very large and veiny, and the censors let it pass.  Howard guesses the reason is that it was a monster dick, not a real one. Howard watched it on his iPad.  Seth said his movie is coming out the same weekend as the new Superman Man of Steel movie, and they talk about how ridiculous it is that they’re telling the same Superman story of him growing up with the same farmer father to instill values and the same villain.  Howard says he hated Behind the Candelabra , the Liberace movie.  He says it’s a hatchet job written by Boober making Liberace look like a vampire that fed on the blood of young boys.  Said it was a piece of shit.  Michael Douglas, Rob Lowe and Matt Damon were all great, but the movie was shit.  We don’t learn anything about why Matt Damon wouldn’t have just said “fuck no” when Liberace told him he wanted Boober to have plastic surgery to look like Liberace.  Howard said there was no back story explaining their relationship, it’s just about him being gay. The movie Super 8 is the movie that gave him the bad rep with the movie studios because the advance copy they sent him never got back to the studio, and now he can’t get another advanced copy.  Jason Kaplan said the movie Pineapple Express is the first movie that spoke to him.  When Teen Mom was in studio, JD was pacing outside he is so angry with her. Fred plays the “GRRR” sound from Ed Wood and one of the reporters tells her that JD’s like Napoleon Dynamite.

 

Russell Brand was in studio and Howard asked him about the story of him trying to get Tom Cruise to convert him to Scientology during the making of Rock of Ages, and even Scientology didn’t want him.  He said he would approach Tom and say his life has no meaning, and Tom would mumble something and walk away.  Howard and Russell both agreed that  Malcolm X  was a great movie.  Howard said it was the only Spike Lee movie that was any good.  Howard asked Russell about being hypnotized to not be in love, and Russell said the story is that during the making of Bedtime Stories he was smitten with Theresa Palmer and couldn’t get his mind off of her, but also wanted to bang all the pretty extras.  So he did ask hypnotist Paul McKenna to make him able to go after other women.  The hypnotist would tell him to imagine her face on a fat body or on a man’s body and it didn’t work, as he ended up sleeping with her anyway.  Russell Brand says he looks to Howard like his Ben “Obi-Wan” Kenobi Obi from Star Wars V  as he followed his career advice to focus on his stand-up, but Howard reminded him he never told him to take it to any other country.

 

Howard’s talking AGT and saying how they shoot him, and that he’s like Dracula, he should not be shot in daylight.  Howard said that Mel B sounds like Eliza from My Fair Lady.  Ralph loved Superman Man of Steel.  Tweeted that Howard’s “ridiculous assumption” that the movie tells the same story of Superman‘s origins is from watching the trailers, but it does go further.  He said Russell Crowe’s Jor-el was the biggest surprise, and that this was the first Zack Snyder movie Ralph has liked.  Jason Kaplan loved Man of Steel also, said sound effect, the drums especially and the special effects were great.  Howard also saw Stephen King’s Under the Dome TV series and loved it. Richard came in bragging that he’d read the 1,100 page book.  Howard also liked the first 5 episodes of Falling Skies   Robin couldn’t find Ring of Fire, the Jewel TV movie about June Carter Cash that Howard liked.  JD said he liked the movie Before Midnight.  Howard asked him to describe the movie and JD said “there are 2 characters, a man and a woman who are married and you follow them.”  Then Howard said that JD gave it 4 “I don’t know’s.”  Howard played the guys using Maria Menounos’ laugh as the gun sound from Scarface. (or Doc Ivan‘s Mundface)

 

 

Here’s from Mark’s Friggin on 6.11.13:  “Howard said Brad Pitt is out promoting the movie ‘World War Z and he’s really behind this movie. Howard said he’s so into it that he’s been showing up to screenings of the movie. Howard said he’s had so many turkeys that he’s making an effort to promote this one. Howard said Brad showed up at a screening and a guy was freaking out about it. Howard played the clip and it was a group of people screaming and you can hear a guy going nuts over Brad. Howard asked how that guy can have a normal life. He said he’s talking about that guy and Brad Pitt. Howard said that you get applause but then you hear this guy screaming.”

 

Robin’s news about when men and women mature, Robin mentioned Howard finding meaning in what she called that stupid Marley and Me.  Gary said he watched This is the End with his son and there are some pretty dirty parts in there.  Steven Tyler was in studio talking to Howard about the tough job of being the lead singer in a band, and how the bandmates don’t understand..  He said he’d be working, and would see his bandmates sitting watching The Three Stooges.  He said Walk This Way was written after seeing the Marty Feldman scene in Young Frankenstein.  Gary says Not Fade Away is really good.  Robin said it would have been a good weekend to open a movie, as an independent movie The Purge was the biggest box office and it only cost $3 mil to make. The actor playing Chewbacca in Star Wars got held up at the airport for carrying a light saber cane.  Howard said he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on with Game of Thrones, but is glad at what happened with the Stark’s mother and Rob.  Robin agrees, as she says the whole Stark family was stupid.

 

This Week In Howard History:

 

2001 – Louis CK was in studio talking about his failures, and Pootie Tang came up.  He said it had killed him when all his heroes said they hated it.  He had grown up watching Siskel and Ebert, and Ebert hated it.  And then he heard that Robin said she hated it, that it was awful for him.  He said he had a meeting with the studio executive, Samuel Goldwyn’s grandson, who should know something about movies, and he just yelled at him.  He says that if this hadn’t been such a failure, his later series wouldn’t have been so good. Said he can’t watch more than 5 minutes of it now.   Artie asked him whatever happened to .Tomorrow Night, as he thought it was hilarious.  Louis said the only copy is under his bed.  He said he used his own money to make the movie.  Artie again said it is really funny, and has their mutual friend, Robert Smigel, in it.  They were discussing Sal’s obsession with all things Howard.  Sal had seen a picture of Howard going into a theater playing Legally Blonde 2. in the Hamptons with Beth and he looked so happy. Sal was obsessed with the picture and kept talking about it.  Sal liked what Howard was wearing and thought he looked really happy, but Sal couldn’t figure out why Howard would be going to see that movie.  Howard said he was a huge fan of Legally Blonde,, but he said Legally Blonde 2 was a huge disappointment.  Everyone wondered why Sal would spend any time thinking about all this.  A caller said that Sal should be fired, as he’s more crazy than the Cable Guy or David Spade’s Skippy and could be dangerous.  He told Howard to fire him now.

 

On the Shuffle:  Howard told Lou Diamond Phillips La Bamba was a great movie and he was great as Ritchie Valens in it.  When he was in studio in 1998 to plug The Big Hit, all Howard could talk to him about was his ex-wife who left him for Melissa Etheridge.  Howard thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen to a man, his wife leaving him for a woman.  He wanted to know if he’d had a clue his wife was gay before she left him.  Lou said that he didn’t, but that he’d realized he was naive.  Each time Howard thought of another question to ask him, Fred started playing Melissa Etheridge’s “Come Through My Window” and he’s ask Lou if Melissa is singing about his wife, and if she actually did come through his window.  He wanted to know if he was a good lover, and again he said he thought he was, but that he was naive about a lot of things.  He wanted to know how they met, how she told him, and he was furious that she was entitled to half of Lou’s earnings since she had left him for a woman.  As Howard starts each question, Fred starts with the “Come Through My Window.”  This has been awhile ago, and Lou had brought in his new wife of 4 years who was beautiful and confirmed he was a good lover.

 

Week of 6.3.13  Impressions Week

 

Bob Hope is on the phone and Robin tells Bob that The Lemon Drop Kid is her favorite Bob Hope movie.  Not to be outdone, Howard says that seeing I’ll take Sweden made him want to get into show business.  Gilbert Gottfried is played doing his Dracula impression.  They played Artie doing scenes from The Godfather after they were talking about a new video game using that most of the stars of the movie lent their voices.  Artie also knows scenes from Goodfellas

 

Doctor Ivan Image.  Ronnie:What’s Your Problem,I’m Funny HOW?!

 

Pablo Francesco did Arnold Schwarzenegger voice in a preview of Brokeback Mountain 2.  Artie said Vinnie’s love tape sounds like Hannibal Lecter from The Silence of the Lambs, saying “Clarice.”  Fred plays the pig rape sounds from Deliverance. Robin’s news talking about Vin Diesel in a Sydney Lumet movie, Find Me Guilty. Howard and Artie thought it was terrible that the great Sydney Lumet is now working with Vin Diesel when he’s made such great classic movies like Dog Day Afternoon. Artie tells Howard some other great Francis Ford Coppola movies are The Conversation, which he tells Howard he has to see, and Bram Stoker’s Dracula, which Howard agreed was a good movie. Artie loved the scene in The Deer Hunter when they’re underground waiting to play Russian roulette, saying they need to play with more bullets. Howard said that Meryl Streep got the role in The Deer Hunter as she was dating John Cazale at the time.  They had been talking about the Godfather movies, and then the John Cazale movies, that he’d only been in 5 before he died, but that they were all great movies, and best picture nominees: Dog Day Afternoon, The Conversation, Godfathers 1 & 2, and and the Deer Hunter.  He died at 42 of brain cancer.  Howard and Artie were talking about Paul Newman’s charity work and Artie said he really could have used all the money he raised, as supposedly Robert Redford met with Paul Newman about making The Sting together at Paul’s place, and Paul was still living in a small 5th floor walk up in New York City even after he was famous with great movies like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Cool Hand Luke.  Howard hates Charles Grodin, and has said the only good thing he ever did was Heartbreak Kid, but then he was reminded that he’d also made Midnight Run, which Howard liked.  Charles Grodin has gone on talk shows badmouthing Howard and generally complaining.  Howard said he’s a miserable man with a bad toupe.

 

When Johnny Carson made a guest appearance on David Letterman, Johnny said he was so overwhelmed with the response from the crowd he couldn’t talk, and Howard said, “What is he, a puppet?”  Howard said Johnny was always like that, someone had been under the desk working his body all those years. Was like a scene from Weekend at Bernie’s.   They played Billy West as Larry Fine of the 3 Stooges saying he was at Woodstock.  Then they played clips from Grillo’s short lived movie review show, where he was reviewing the Oliver Stone movie World Trade Center.  Howard said it was a movie review show for illiterates, as there are no other idiots doing movie reviews.  After listening to his review, you couldn’t tell if he recommended the movie or not, as he gave it a state by state review because it was too soon for New York City, but maybe not too soon for other states..  Grillo said it made him cry, and he laughed at Old Yeller.  They’re saying next he should review Beer League, and they hope that Roger Ebert will get better after Beer League‘s released.  Howard says Jackass is so funny because you’re laughing at guys really hurting themselves.  Fred was doing his Stuttering John talking about suing a ski place in Vermont, and they were playing music that Howard said sounded like it was from Field of Dreams, but it was the background music on a documentary about gay athletes. George Takei is on talking about Star Trek and Bill Shatner.  A caller says that JD should see Bird of Paradise before he goes to visit his mother in Hawaii, as they sacrifice people over there by throwing them into volcanoes.  While JD’s talking, Fred plays clips from Napoleon Dynamite.  Jim Breuer said that the movie

 

On the Shuffle, Howard says Braveheart is getting bad press due to a characterization of a gay king.  Robin said that’s Rob Roy, and Howard says neither one’s any good.

 

Sal was compared to The Cable Guywhen they were talking about how obsessed he is with everything Howard.  A caller said he’s crazy compared to the The Cable Guy, and he could be dangerous and should be fired.

 

 

 

Howard said he’s looking forward to seeing the new Planet of the Apes, as it’s going to be directed by Tim Burton.  He says Baba Booey will be in the remake without makeup to which Fred says in his best Charlton Heston voice “I love you, but you’re a smelly ape!” Howard says the first Planet of the Apes with Charlton Heston was a great movie.  Jason Biggs is in studio plugging his Broadway play of The Graduate.  He’s known for the American Pie movies.  There have been 2, and there’s rumors of a third one.  Howard and Artie start ripping into his Graduate co-star, Kathleen Turner, as she used to be quite a beauty and now is quite large.  Howard says that Anne Bancroft was a gorgeous woman, and Artie said, “and she’s a broad!”  Artie does his Kat-a-leen Turner voice saying to Jason, “I played the sheriff in Smokey and the Bandit. but I used to have great chemistry with Michael Douglas in Romancing the Stone.”  “I used to look like Kate Moss, and now I look like peat moss.”  They played Gilbert Gottfried’s Dracula, and also Gilbert doing a scenes from all the Abbott and Costello movies, where Costello sees something scary and tries to tell Abbott after Howard asks Gilbert,  “Did you ever see the movie Abbott and Costello go to Mexico during the Earthquake?”  Michael Cain is on the news talking about Get Shorty. He’s in the original and they gave him a cameo on the remake.  Michael is saying the movie is all about morality.

 

 

 

Week of 5.27.13

 

Katie Couric was in studio.  Howard was asking her about dating after her husband had died, and wondered if she’d need to do a Jack Nicholson Something’s Gotta Give by going and seeing all her old boyfriends and apologizing.  He also asked her if her husband made a tape for their daughters before he died, and she said that they’d seen My Life with Michael Keaton where he does that long before they knew her husband was ill, and it destroyed her.  During his illness, they always had hope, and she said whenever they got more bad news, she always said to him they would beat it, and never would have asked him to make a tape.  That would have been admitting he was dying.  During the news, Robin said that Fast &  Furious 6 beat Hangover Part 3 at the box office.  Howard wants to know who would watch this?  When Robin read a story about employees butt-calling a customer while they were talking about him, Howard said what are the chances of that happening?  About the same as Fast & Furious being #1 at the box office!  Robin said it’s the only thing Vin Diesel does anymore, and that they’re already working on #7, the sequel for Fast and Furious 6.  Howard says he gets to see Hangover every day with his staff.  Robin played some clips of Jerry Lewis answering questions about his never released movie The Day the Clown Cried.  Howard said he loved his old movies, like The Bellboy, and his movies with Dean Martin.  Robin said she couldn’t sit through one of his movies, either with Dean Martin or alone.  Robin never thought of him as funny at all. Howard said he saw the previews for World War Z and it looks cool, but there aren’t any reviews yet.  Howard said Brad Pitt’s finally getting smart and realizing he needs to make action movies.  No more of these deep movies.  Robin said she saw Tree of Life and still doesn’t understand it.  Hugh Jackman is getting into shape for the new Wolverine movie.

 

Maria Menounos was in studio to plug this movie that her boyfriend Keven wrote and directed, Adventures of Serial Buddies.  Richard Christy has a small role as a skinhead.  Artie Lange also has a small role as a brother of one of the buddies.  Keven said that Artie came in to film 2 days before he had his meltdown.  He said the whole time he was with him, he was gracious and telling jokes.  She says Richard looks good now; he was at his heaviest when he worked on the film.  She describes the movie as Dumb and Dumber meets Dexter.  It’s on Netflix, not in theaters.  Mutt talked about Fred’s bumper into commercials of Wendy doing her Freddie Kruger voice from A Nightmare on Elm Street.  Robin’s news reported that After Earth got some pretty bad reviews: 1 Star in the Post and Zero stars in the Daily News and that it’s a bit of a snoozer. They said Will Smith’s son is in too much of the movie, that his voice is irritating, and Howard and Robin are pleased that not everything is going well for the Will Smith family. It’s good that they fail now and then.  Glen Close was in the news as her cause is mental illness, and Howard said he loved Fatal Attraction that she was in and she was mental and cooked the rabbit.  Said it was really good. Fred said in his Ronnie voice, “and the rabbit squirted, and it wasn’t pee!”

 

Howard said he saw Behind the Candleabra, and it’s really good.  When he first started watching, he couldn’t get over looking at Michael Douglas in a wig.  He knew the movie would be skewed, as it was written by Scott Thorson, so it made him look like a good guy who would have loved Liberace even if he was broke.  Howard said it was really well done.  He said Michael Douglas looks like he’s really playing the piano, and he found out that they had put his head on a real piano player’s body, and that’s why it looks so real.  Gary said that Rob Lowe as the plastic surgeon is great.  Howard also watched Jewel in a Lifetime movie Ring of Fire.as June Carter Cash, and Howard said she did a really good job and deserves to win awards for her performance.  He said she looks great with the long black hair.  He was telling Robin about the story, and how he didn’t know anything about June Carter, but then Robin reminded him he’d seen Walk the Line. so that he did know the story.  Howard and Gary are talking about FaceBook being only good to look up old girlfriends and see who’s fat.  Howard asks Gary if that’s what he’s teaching his boys.  Gary says that his father used Shelley Winters as that example when he was little.  After they watched the Poseidon Adventure, his dad told him that Shelley Winters used to be a pinup girl, and Gary couldn’t believe it.

 

Thurs was Ralph Howard’s last day, as he’s retiring.  They were asking about his career, and he said his voice is in Changing Lanes.  Will Murray worked on that movie also.  Ralph’s voice opens The Paper, and he plays a reporter in Safe Passage.  He said it was not his voice in the background during the shower scene in Goodfellas.  Courtney Love was in studio talking about The Muppets and how she felt turning Kurt Cobain into a Muppet was like raping his memory. She also said she had to promise Milos Foreman that she’d stop taking heroine in order to get the role in The People vs. Larry Flynt.  Howard and Ralph were talking and they said that Star Trek Into Darkness  in 3D and IMAX was too much for the eyes.  Richard Christy talks about Planes, Trains and Automobiles making him cry, and that JD is like Tom Cruise in Cocktail being the confident butt-temder.

 

On the Shuffle, Howard was talking about his old days when he would have to do appearances for radio stations.  He said the worst ever was having to show up at a showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. He said he had to be there with all these morons who watch this movie a million times, and none of them knew who he was or why he was there.  He said there’s a part in the movie when all these morons throw toast at the screen, but this time they threw all of it at him instead.

 

On This Day in History, KC was talking about his Jackass stunts he used to do in college before Jackass. Howard said they were sad, not funny.  Robin said it was like the gang of hooligans in A Clockwork Orange.  When KC was talking about supernatural occurrences, he said, “How about Amityville Horror, how do you explain that?” And Howard said, “It’s a movie, you idiot!”  Artie breaks out in “Gonna Wash That Man (Those Farts) Right Of My Hair” from South Pacific after Dan the Farter farts in a girl’s face.  Howard played clips from Judgment on IMDb saying that Tom Chiusano could use them as the perfect training film for talking about sex on the radio without getting fined.  It’s a film about a priest being accused of molesting boys.  The boys are in court using words like “pee pee,” “down there” and “kissing his pee pee.”  Howard and Fred use their best Tom robot voice playing these clips and then giving a staff in-service on this is the way they should talk and not offend anyone and keep the FCC off their backs while still being “funny.”  Howard says Tom would love to hire this boy, and then Fred as Tom says, “This kid really knows how to spin a yarn.”

 

MasterTape Theater In the news, Robin was talking about the nudity in Troy.  She also played an Eddie Murphy interview when he was on the circuit plugging Shrek 2, saying this is Serious Eddie, and he’s not funny.  Artie said Funny Eddie’s been gone a long time.

 

Week of 5.20.13

 

JD Harmeyer gives Behind the Candleabra 5 out of 5 Um’s.  MasterTape Theater from 3/9/99.  Another time the crew was debating whether or not KC is gay, and during Howard’s grilling KC about his fantasies, Fred plays the Perry Mason music.  Gary talks about the movie Prince of Tides and  what KC would be like during therapy.  They are talking about the movie The Other Sister, which Howard calls a different love story, then asked who needed this story to be told?  Howard said Gene Siskel was lucky to have died, as he was able to miss the movie Cruel Intentions.  During the news, it was announced that Stanley Kubrick had died.  Howard said he now finally understands the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey.  Howard said the monolith was sent to us by an advanced alien race, and when Keir Dullea dies in the end he’s going to be reborn as a golden child that will to return to earth.  Howard says this year’s Oscars will be boring as all the movies are bad and Gwenneth Paltrow is the big star now.  Howard can’t believe that Elia Kazan is getting a Lifetime Achievement Award even though he turned in everyone in Hollywood during the McCarthy Hearings.

Zach Braff was in studio after Mel Gibson’s old girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva’s interview, and he and Howard were talking about Mel Gibson’s movies.  They both said Apocalypto was amazing.  Bill Hader of SNL was in studio.  When Howard asked him about his audition, he asked him if he’d seen A Chorus Line – it depicts the worst audition process. It’s a cold room, the ones you’re auditioning for have seen all the greats and no one laughs.  Bill said he makes good money from voice-overs, and Howard said Shrek‘s Eddie Murphy does the donkey in his basement and makes millions of dollars.  He’s going to be in  The Skeleton Twins with Luke Wilson.  He’s also going to be in The To Do List. Gary brought up My Favorite Year when he was talking about how awkward it is when the writers have to talk to someone else to to relay a message.  Lisa Lampanelli was in studio and said she had just seen Django Unchained and 42 in one week. She spent the next week apologizing to every black man, and if she wasn’t married, would have blown them.  Bill Hader was in studio and said he watched Crimes and Misdemeaners for his Alan Alda impression, and Glengarry Glen Ross for Al Pacino, and There Will Be Blood for Daniel Day-Lewis.

 

MasterTape Theater  They were talking about no Jew has a good physique, as Howard said no matter what he does he looks horrible.  Robin mentioned Jeff Goldblum, and Howard admitted he got into great shape for The Fly.  M. Night Shyamalan was on the phone, and Howard told him he loved Stuart Little & The Sixth Sense.  Howard is hoping he’ll write a movie for him someday.  Howard told him that he also loved She’s all That .  M. Knight said he did very little on that one – they brought him in to help smooth it out.  No one can believe he liked it – even Freddie Prinze Jr and M Night can’t believe Howard liked it as it was so bad, but Howard insisted it was good.

 

Week of 5.13.13

 

Jimmy Kimmel was in studio and said he’d seen the new Star Trek Into Darkness  movie and it’s great.  JJ Abrams was in studio, and again Howard said the first Star Trek was amazing.  Felicity was JJ’s first big show, and he even let Howard’s daughters do a guest-spot on one episode, and he wrote Regarding Henry.  At the end of the show, Howard said Side Effects was real good, as was Jack Reacher.  He said Jack Reacher was so good he bought the movie, that’s it’s like a James Bond movie.  He says Tom Cruise has a knack for finding the best scripts.  Robin said Mud was good.  Then Howard said Gangster Squad was good, and Robin said that she was going to see it now that Howard says it’s good, as she’d heard it wasn’t.  JD tweeted that Dr. Joyce Brothers had died, and said his favorite movie memory of her was from Loaded Weapon.

 

Ralph said he loved the new  Star Trek Into Darkness , and then on Tuesday, Howard said he did get to see it the night before and he loved it, even though he usually hates 3D.  He saw it not only in 3D but in IMAX.  He said he’s seen every Star Trek episode, every series and every move and really loved this new movie.  There were lots of references from the past.  He knows they will end up telling us in 10 years that 3D makes us go blind.  He thinks Zoe Saldana is really super hot, and says there’s never a dull moment in the movie.  She’s so hot, but into Spock.  She’s also in Colombiana; he ended up buying the movie after Ralph told him that she was in that movie, too.  She’s also in Avatar, but she’s blue.  He says the casting and writing of Star Trek are fantastic, and that it’s a good solid movie and is going to make a fortune.  Howard said Chris Pine, Captain Kirk, is a really good actor, and says it’s a cool movie and he recommends everyone see it.   He’s also in Unstoppable with Denzel Washington.

 

Howard said that Ralph was his best friend but he doesn’t always behave well, and Robin talked about the star of Hunger Games also having a mentally challenged best friend.  Howard went into traveling with Ralph and his demands, always starting with “Excuse me, uhhhh…!” which means he’s thinking and Howard says is very passive aggressive.  Fred played the Godfather music behind Howard’s impersonation of Ralph, saying that he’s a best friend and council.  Coming out of break, they played a promo for  Schlinder’s List, the Musical. that has parodies of songs from Grease, Annie and West Side Story about the Holocaust.  Howard’s talking to JD and plays yet another song parody of Annie.  Eric the Midget called in; Fred played Mars Attacks! music.  Rob Corddry was in studio, and Howard again said that he loved Hot Tub Time Machine.  Rob says he did a chemistry audition with Ashton Kushter for What Happens in Vegas.  They were ad-libbing an argument scene, and Ashton smacked him in the face-twice, and he still got the job.  Howard loves the movie Warm Bodies, said it was really good, but didn’t think it did very well, because no one he talks to has seen it.  Rob said it did well.  Rob is on Adult Swim, the nighttime Cartoon Network on Childrens Hospital.  He says Howard will really like it.  Says it’s kind of like Son of the Beach.  He’s going to start filming Hot Tub Time Machine 2.  He never wanted to be a star, but wanted to be “that guy” that you see in tons of movies but never know his name.

 

During the news, Robin talks about that Ariel kidnapper in Cleveland pleading not guilty.  Fred plays the Perry Mason music while Howard talks about how crazy that lawyer has to be to defend this guy.

 

This Day in Howard History:  Don Rickles is in studio.  He talked about his first movie, Run Silent, Run Deep with Burt Lancaster and Clark Gable.  He was nervous about acting and when he’d talk to Burt Lancaster, he’d hear (he says in his best Burt Lancaster voice )”I need to know what the submarine is about…Know why they dive!” and then Clark Gable would say (in a great Clark Gable voice) Forget that crap.  Go do the lines and let’s get a drink!”

 

Week of 5.6.13

 

Monday morning, there was lots of TV talk.  (thanks to MarksFriggin.com for hearing more show names) Howard’s looking for something to watch during his next trip.  JD says Strike Back is good, but 2nd season not as good as the first.  Robin said Spartacus was in its 5th season, Howard said 3rd called in Jon Hein to confirm Howard was right.  Howard still can’t understand the Kingslayer from Game of Thrones.  Robin says Howard should watch Banshee; she’s told him already but Howard doesn’t want to see it.  She also recommended Hunted, but JD says it’s no good, says it’s too slow.  JD liked Boss, but Howard doesn’t want to see that one.  Robin says Deadwood is great, but Howard probably wouldn’t understand it.  Mutt also tweeted that Deadwood is an older show but awesome, and that The Americans and Bates Motel are current and good.  JD says House of Lies is alright.  Robin likes Merlin, but says Howard wouldn’t.  JD was cut into a spoof of him as Maxwell Smart.  Howard was talking about Rocky being turned into a Broadway musical, and said that Schlinder’s List was coming out soon as a musical, and they played parodies of songs from Grease, Annie and West Side Story about the Holocaust.  Ross Mathews was in talking about being best friends with Gwenneth Paltrow after the movie 12 Monkeys with Brad Pitt.  Sal was talking about a psychic, and Gary asked him if he’d see Leap of Faith as they show the healer walking around the arena with an ear piece.

 

Tuesday, Howard talked about a short film, Room 8, saying it was really good, and reminded him of an old Twilight Zone episode.  Thanks to sternsuperfans.com for finding the link.  Robin said the only good thing about Thor being in the Avengers was Loki.  They talked about 2 movies I couldn’t find.  The one where Jackie the Joke Man is talking to a senator telling off-color jokes, the other was about a girl surfer who had her arm bitten off by a shark. Howard said he can’t tell the difference between F Murray Abraham and Ben Kingsley.  Robin said that Ben Kingsley was Gandhi, and F Murray Abraham was in the Amadeus movie, which Howard said was good.  Robin’s news about nobody wants the body of the Tsarnaev guy.  Howard said he and Robin want it.  They’ll put sunglasses on it, sit right next to it and take it on tour, a la Weekend at Bernie’s

 

Jon Hein posted his review of Disconnect on Twitter:  “Depressing film.  Story has major holes but it does makes you think about who and what is out there online.  Solid acting. C+”  Ralph saw Man of Steel before it came out, and said that the first 50 minutes is boring.  Howard is disgusted that they’re redoing this movie only to tell the same origins story that’s been told a million times.  He says to get on with the story already!

 

On the Shuffle, Goofing on Tom Chiusano and his movie watching. Tom goes to 2 movies a weekend with his wife Penelope, a light one and a heavy one, though if he’s had a particularly tough week, he’ll see two comedies. He said he’d seen Mars Attacks! for his “light” movie, and Howard asked if that was considered a comedy?  Then Howard said, “I bet the studio isn’t laughing.”  Robin said no one else laughed at that one, either.  Then Tom said it was stupid.  Tom also said he saw Michael and it was good, a light movie, and Shine, for the heavy one.  He said 101 Dalmatians was ok, but the real fun of seeing the movie was the kids in the movie theater who were loving it, and that he was at the same intellectual level as the kids.  Howard’s goofing on Robin when she brought her family in to the studio, saying she was going to show her family she’d hit the big time, like in Driving Miss Robin (Daisy)  Mark Harris was on, and Fred again plays the Deliverance pig raping sound.  They’re goofing on Scott the Engineer bowling, and Howard says it’s like the movie Field of Dreams, “Bowl and they will come!”

 

On the Satellite Years, the Wrap Up show is discussing Scott the Engineer’s dog, and Scott DePace saying he wouldn’t spend that kind of money on surgery for a dog.  Gary said we’re getting into Old Yeller territory.  Then Howard and Robin are talking about the year-long hold up of the merger of Sirius and XM, and Howard said it’s like the Eddie Murphy movie Distinguished Gentlemen as to how the government is screwing all of us.

 

This Day in History:  Stuttering John interviews Billy Crystal before the opening of Forget Paris and he storms off.  One of the questions he was going to ask was, “Isn’t it ironic that Mr. Saturday Night closed on Saturday afternoon?” Here’s the video:   Howard played the SNL skit with Michael McKeon from Spinal Tap playing Howard.

 

Week of 4.29.13

 

Thanks to designing genius Doctor Ivan GraphiX for new look and header and webmaster extraordinaire Cain Social Media!

 

On Wednesday, Howard was talking about wanting to travel, but then said he really doesn’t.  He asked Robin if he’d seen about that movie with Seth Rogen The Guilt Trip where he goes to the Grand Canyon and then he wonders how long he has to stand there after he’s driven so far to look at it?  Robin said she’s seen that movie, too, but they didn’t say anything about whether they liked it or not.  Anyone know which movie they’re talking about?  One of the bumpers going into break was of reporters talking about Howard’s comments about Gabourey Sidibe, the star of Precious.  The Shuffle played Mystery Guest with Carroll O’connor.  Howard said he loved the show All In the Family.  He asked him if he was going to do any more movies, and Carroll said he’d love to, but scripts are hard to find.  Howard said to tell him about it.  The best script he had seen that whole year was Ryder P.I. and it sucked and nobody saw it.  Howard started Tues show saying he didn’t understand Game of Thrones on Sunday night and he had Jon come in and explain.  He said he’s more into Spartacus, as it’s pretty simple to follow and there are also lots of hot, naked chicks.  Howard said he’s watched the movie Elektra at least 5 times.  Says it’s not a good movie, but he’s into Jennifer Garner and any superhero movie.  Robin agreed it was no good.  He wondered if the daughter in this movie was a young Jennifer Lawrence, but Gary said it wasn’t.  JD posted the preview for Pacific Rim and says it’s awesome.  Ralph tweeted he’s seen Iron Man 3 twice already, and it’s great.  Richard was talking about Jason Collins coming out as the first openly gay basketball player, and he said that wasn’t true, the first one was Lamar Latrell from Revenge of the Nerds.  Howard says he is so looking forward to seeing Behind the Candelabra.  Can’t wait to see Matt Damon and Michael Douglas make out.  Ralph said Iron Man 3 was so great he’s seen it twice, and he’s going to see it a 3rd time this week.  Steve Brandano agreed, said it was better than Iron Man 2.  Howard wonders how Ralph has the time to do that and why he hasn’t seen it yet.

 

On the Shuffle, some interns are hypnotized to think Crack Head Bob and Elephant Boy are Brad Pitt and Adam Sandler, and Fred plays the love theme from Gone With The Wind.  They played Grillo talking about turkey hunting, and Fred quoted Karate Kid “see a turkey, become a turkey!”  Janice Dickenson was in studio, and Fred played the Perry Mason music while Howard asked her the tough questions.

 

SternSuperfans.com released a movie short this week, The Pope of SFS.  Am awaiting any Stern Staffers reviews…

 

Week of 4.22.13   Howard’s in LA for AGT, so it’s Sport’s Week.

 

After Martin Landau won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for Ed Wood, Howard commented on his young girlfriend, Gretchen Becker, who later came in to meet him and challenge him to a tennis match, which Howard lost after being spotted 16 points.  Stuttering John beat Tom Chiusano in golf, reminding Artie of Caddie Shack.  Fred played both the Gone With the Wind love theme and the raping pig sound from Deliverance while Bernard Hopkins was in studio telling his prison stories, which sound Fred also played during the Refrigerator Perry interview when he was talking about hunting and Howard asked him if he ever came upon weird men in the backwoods while hunting.  The  Rocky theme was played during Artie’s pizza eating contest.  Howard plays Jackie in basketball, and tells Grillo to get him some Flubber.
JD went to the Tribeca Film Festival and said that Dark Touch was alright though the girl’s special powers was a lot like Carrie, and the movie was a little slow.  He thought The Machine was entertaining but not the best movie, and Some Velvet Morning had a hot girl .

 

MasterTape Theater Howard was talking about American Beauty, saying it’s a feminine movie and that no man will like that movie.

 

Week of 4.15.13

 

Robin said she really liked the movie 42. She also really liked After Earth.  A commercial for the video release of Django Unchained was played, and Howard says the CD has an extra feature with 20 bonus n-words.  Howard still thinks it’s one of the greatest movies of all time.  Robin did a story about Hugh Jackman, aka Wolverine, running from an attacker.  A Wendy the Retard bit was played with her talking like Freddy Krueger from Nighmare on Elm Street..  Howard said one good thing about Roger Ebert dying was that he didn’t have to review Scary Movie 5.  Rob Zombie was in plugging his new movie, The Lords of Salem.   Said he feels like Bradley Cooper when he was in to plug Silver Linings Playbook, saying it’s limited release, limited theaters, etc.  Says it’s good, a real scary movie.  Says he and Howard get together and watch all the old Munsters shows. Howard said the TV movie, Mockingbird Lane was a good retelling of the show.

 

Talking about the Bates Motel TV series, Howard said the movie Psycho was good, but he doesn’t want to see a whole series about an overbearing mother, as he’s always got one in his head anyway.  Howard says people are saying Ronnie’s mustache looks like the character in The Lorax.   Mark Wahlberg was in studio to plug his new movie directed by Michael Bay, Pain & Gain.  He’s going to work with him in The Transformers next.  He said he only comes in to plug movies he really believes in.  Last time he was there was for Ted which was so successful they’re working on a sequel now. Says he’s also in Broken City.  Mark said he played a father in Lovely Bones and Howard and Robin said that was a great movie.  Howard was talking about Sling Blade with Billy Bob Thornton, and said When We Were Kings, the story of the Mohammed Ali/George Foreman, was an amazing story.  Mark said he had an agent that was like the one in Broadway Danny Rose and he had asked him to do something a charity that Jerry Sandusky was on the board charity, so now Mark researches everything before he associates himself with it.    Howard said Mia Farrow finished filming Husbands and Wives with Woody Allen after the scandal broke between her daughter and Woody.

 

Wed’s show started with a clip of Howard’s playing full retard cut into a movie preview that says he’s just as good as Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump.  Howard always says he can play retard better than Sean Penn in I am Sam and Robert Downey, Jr. in Tropic Thunder.  Tom Sizemore was in studio plugging his new autobiography, By Some Miracle, I Made It Out of There.  He was in Reservoir Dogs, Bringing out the Dead, Heat, Natural Born Killers and Black Hawk Down.  Howard was talking about an old Elliot Gould movie where he runs into the bathroom to masterbate with a magazine and then realizes he’s married.  Was he talking about Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice?

 

Week of 4.8.13

 

It’s AGT time again, so this is a week of Staff Picks.  Gary’s first pitch at the Mets game was played, and Artie likened it to the failed field goal kicker in Buffalo 66.  Then Howard said that Beth could throw better, as her father had been like The Great Santini teaching her to throw and catch a ball.  Talking about how Gary threw like a girl, Fred played the pig sound from Deliverance.  Scott’s push-up contest was played, and music from Rocky is always in the background.  They played a parody for a promo of Scream 3, which featured Scott screaming “Told you not to use the goddamn tape!” and the music from the Godfather during the placing of bets.  They played the day that it’s revealed that Gary made a love tape.  Howard is selling tickets to the showing to callers.  He says it will be a movie that will be so great he could see it 20 times, like the Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.  The fight between AJ Benza and Stuttering John is played, and Fred plays the theme from Rocky. The Gary Apology tape cut into Bruce Springsteen’s Secret Garden from Jerry McGuire is played.

 

Quentin Tarantino was another staff pick when he was in studio to plug Django Unchained and his 8 movie box set.  He said one of the movies he loved last year was Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris.  Howard and Robin loved that one, too, but say that Woody Allen’s movies are hit or miss.  He doesn’t think Owen Wilson is a good comedic actor, but he liked him in this movie.  Howard loves Quentin’s Inglorious Bastards and Pulp Fiction.  Quentin also wrote True Romance, which Robin said was brilliant & Natural Born Killers.  Howard said the photography in Kill Bill and Inglorious Bastards was great – each frame could be a still, frame-able picture.  He loved the lighting and framing of the film.   Quentin talked about not wanting to make films when he’s so old that will ruin the perception of his body of work.  He said one bad movie ruins the perception of 4 good ones.  He wants a fan to be able to pick up any of his movies and see a great movie.  When asked for an example of a director who did that, he said Billy Wilder.  His last 4 films:  Avante  in 1971, was a legitimate film with some nudity—would have been a great one for him to retire on, but instead he made 3 more: Front Page, Fedora and Buddy, Buddy which he though were all god-fucking horrible! He brought John Travolta back into stardom, but says we can’t blame him for Michael, or Look Who’s Talking 3  (or Look Who’s Talking Now).

 

George Takei’s bachelor party was played with Jonah Falcon.  He said he was more of a Star Trek Next Generation fan.  He’s the big penis guy, and was in the movie Just My Luck (uncredited as the best man at wedding).  After the party, Howard said he knew he wasn’t gay, because he just had his annual physical with a rectal exam and how nightmarish it is.  While explaining, Fred plays the Gone With the Wind music.  Howard again says that Julia Roberts used a body double in Pretty Woman, and that Mel Gibson is crazy.  Robin said she loved Scream 3.  Howard said the Fight Club blew.  They played the clip where Howard, Fred and Robin goof on Jackie’s crummy houses, and Fred, in his Jackie voice, say that they’re his Xanadu.

 

Week of 4.1.13

 

Bobby Moynihan from SNL was in studio, plugging his new movie The Brass Teapot.  He was in When in Rome and The Invention of Lying.  Howard played a phony phone call with a recording of China calling a guy that Robin said sounded like Sling Blade.  Howard was talking about David Bowie, and Robin said he’s now turned into the character he played in The Hunger with Catherine Deneuve.  Howard played Jay Leno and Jimmy Fallon doing a spoof of the song “Tonight” from West Side Story.  Howard said they should have done the Shark and Jets song.  On the Wrap Up Show, Jon and Richard were talking about Cheech and Chong. Jon said his favorite movie of theirs was Up in Smoke.  Richard said his was Cheech and Chong’s Next Movie.  Louis CK was in studio, and he talked about auditioning for a Woody Allen movie coming out soon Blue Jasmine.  Howard said he’s a weird guy and talked about Mia Farrow finishing her last movie with him even after they broke up, Husbands and Wives.  Louis said he didn’t get the part he auditioned for, Dice got it.

 

This Day in Howard History 4.4.  George Takei was in studio and Chris Rock was a guest, pushing a play he was in, “Mother Fucker with a Hat.”  George said he couldn’t see it, as he was going to see Catch Me If You Can on Broadway.  Chris told him that was a waste, as he’d already seen the movie that was a much better version of the story.  They were talking about Mickey Rourke’s failed plastic surgery, and how his career was going down the tubes, and then he got the role in Sin City, which Howard and Robin said he was great in, and it revived his career.

 

4.4  It was announced that Roger Ebert had died.                                                                                     image by Doctor Ivan        The SternSuperfans website tweeted this link to an old Channel 9 show with guests Siskel and Ebert.  Howard showed them a parody of Awakenings  Ebert had liked the movie and Siskel did not, and they felt the same way about Howard’s parody.  Ebert said Siskel thought Robin Williams kept his elbows too close to his body.  Howard and Ebert thought Robin Williams should have been the one nominated for an Academy Award instead of Robert De Niro.  In this parody, Howard played the De Niro role.  Then Howard was asking Roger about him dating Chas, a black woman that he would later marry.  Howard asked Roger if he and his girlfriend liked to play Master/Slave games.  Howard said he’d love to do that, and that he always fantasized about it like in the movie Mandigo. and would love to force a slave to have his babies.  Howard had wanted to date black women when he was younger, and they’d always turn him down.  Then on 4.5, Howard 101 ran a special dedicated to Roger Ebert, where they played various interviews.  Howard was goofing on Roger for writing Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, which Roger still defends, saying it did well at the box office (his statistics were questioned by both Gene and Howard).  Roger said it was more original than movies like Pretty Woman and Under Siege, which are just rewrites of old movies.

 

The week started with Howard talking about the Academy Award show that was on Sunday night.  He said he hated the musical numbers from Chicago and Les Miserables.  Thinks they’re both horrible, and Les Miserables looks totally miserable.  Says it looks like it’s the worst ever of all the horrible Broadway shows.  He doesn’t like Adele’s Bond song from Skyfall, thinks Shirley Bassey has lost her voice when singing Goldfinger.  Robin reminded him she’s in her 70′s.  He wonders why the Oscar show has to use those horrible song and dance numbers, when Argo used Led Zepplin songs – why not use those in the award show?  He was glad Argo won best film, and thinks Oscar did wrong by not nominating either Ben Affleck for Argo or Kathryn Ann Bigelow for Zero Dark Thirty in the best director category.  He thought Daniel Day-Lewis had a funny Best Actor acceptance speech for Lincoln, and he liked Tarantino’s Best Original Screenplay speech for Django Unchained.  Howard said Barbra Streisand is losing her voice.  He says he’s glad, as he never liked her singing, but thought she made some great movies and wants her to get back to directing.  Howard and Robin were talking about Liam Neeson.  Howard said he was in the one of the best superhero movies ever, Darkman.  Then Robin went on to say that Liam is never able to loose his accent in these movies.  Howard said he didn’t have one in Taken, but Robin disagreed, insisting that he did have an accent in this movie.  Joan Rivers was in studio, and Howard said again how much he liked her documentary, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work  Started the show with a clip from Full Metal Jacket.  Here’s a short film a fan did when the guy in the movie came in to yell at Howard and the gang.  For Black History Month, they played a clip going into commercial of Samuel L. Jackson when he was in studio talking about the controversy over Tarantino’s use of the “N” word in the movie Jackie Brown.  Samuel said that that was the way the character talked, and for each time Quentin had it in the script, Samuel added a bunch more.  Donald Trump called in and said he thought Django Unchained was racist. Robin says again that she didn’t like it, but Howard still asserts that it’s genius.  Howard played a clip of Alec Baldwin on David Letterman, where he was talking about the news report that he called a reporter a racial slur.  Alec was saying sarcastically that after all these years, they finally realized he was a racist, and that he used a racial slur that hadn’t been used since the 60′s Rod Steiger In the Heat of the Night.

 

MasterTape Theater Howard was talking with Joey Ramone about Leaving Las Vegas, that Nicholas Cage did a great job playing a drunk, because he acted realistically and didn’t play a falling down drunk.

 

On the Shuffle, Eric the Actor’s hit request was played, and Artie went into his Godfather monologue, then said he was talking straight out of Eraserhead.  In another segment, Fred played the Tarzan yell, one of his favorite sound bytes.

On the Shuffle, some interns are hypnotized to think Crack Head Bob and Elephant Boy are Brad Pitt and Adam Sandler, and Fred plays the love theme from Gone With The Wind.  They played Grillo talking about turkey hunting, and Fred quoted Karate Kid “see a turkey, become a turkey!”  Janice Dickenson was in studio, and Fred played the Perry Mason music while Howard asked her the tough questions.

SternSuperfans.com released a movie short this week, The Pope of SFS.  Am awaiting any Stern Staffers reviews…

Quentin Tarantino was another staff pick when he was in studio to plug Django Unchained and his 8 movie box set.  He said one of the movies he loved last year was Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris.  Howard and Robin loved that one, too, but say that Woody Allen’s movies are hit or miss.  He doesn’t think Owen Wilson is a good comedic actor, but he liked him in this movie.  Howard loves Quentin’s Inglorious Bastards and Pulp Fiction.  Quentin also wrote True Romance, which Robin said was brilliant & Natural Born Killers.  Howard said the photography in Kill Bill and Inglorious Bastards was great – each frame could be a still, frame-able picture.  He loved the lighting and framing of the film.   Quentin talked about not wanting to make films when he’s so old that will ruin the perception of his body of work.  He said one bad movie ruins the perception of 4 good ones.  He wants a fan to be able to pick up any of his movies and see a great movie.  When asked for an example of a director who did that, he said Billy Wilder.  His last 4 films:  Avante  in 1971, was a legitimate film with some nudity—would have been a great one for him to retire on, but instead he made 3 more: Front Page, Fedora and Buddy, Buddy which he though were all god-fucking horrible! He brought John Travolta back into stardom, but says we can’t blame him for Michael, or Look Who’s Talking 3  (or Look Who’s Talking Now).

George Takei’s bachelor party was played with Jonah Falcon.  He said he was more of a Star Trek Next Generation fan.  He’s the big penis guy, and was in the movie Just My Luck (uncredited as the best man at wedding).  After the party, Howard said he knew he wasn’t gay, because he just had his annual physical with a rectal exam and how nightmarish it is.  While explaining, Fred plays the Gone With the Wind music.  Howard again says that Julia Roberts used a body double in Pretty Woman, and that Mel Gibson is crazy.  Robin said she loved Scream 3.  Howard said the Fight Club blew.  They played the clip where Howard, Fred and Robin goof on Jackie’s crummy houses, and Fred, in his Jackie voice, say that they’re his Xanadu.

      

Week of 3.25.13

James Franco was in studio to plug Spring Breakers.  He says he thought Spring Breakers would change cinema the way Tree of Life  did years before. Howard said it looks pretty fucking hard core and is looking forward to seeing it.  He talked about hosting the Oscars with Anne Hathaway the year he was up for 127 Hours.   Said Colin Firth won that year for The King’s Speech.   He was going to do a bit dressed as Cher in Burlesque, but it was cut.  He talked about losing the lead roles in Spider-Man and  Seabiscuit both to Tobey Maguire.  Sam Rami asked him to take the role of Spider-Man’s friend.  He had to think about it, as the only other good and successful superhero movie up to that point had been Tim Burton’s Batman.  So the news was reported that he was thinking about taking the role, and he heard Howard and Robin talking about it on the air, calling him an asshole and saying “James Franco has to think about taking the friend role in Spider-Man.  Yeah, right!  What’s he got going on?”  Howard said that probably James Franco was too good looking to play Peter Parker.  Again, Howard said he loved Your HIghness.  James said he went to school with Danny McBride and they used to sit around and make up names for movies, and they came up with that one.  James talked about James Brolin in  Goonies, being a good bad guy with his severe face.  He talked about getting his big break in Freaks and Geeks,  and then his role in  Pineapple Express,  which Robin said was a great movie.  James didn’t like his movies Tristan + Isolde, Annapolis, Flyboys, and Whatever It Takes,  He said he got the role in Milk  after Sean Penn saw him in James Dean,  He started smoking and wouldn’t speak to his family for 3 months while becoming James Dean.  Said it was weird in Milk having to kiss Sean Penn, but it really was just kissing like another human being, just the beard felt weird.  He said they went all out with tongues and everything.  Howard asked if he always stays in character like Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln and then Howard told the story of the time he’d been on The Larry Sanders Show,  and Garry Shandling had to talk to the staff to see if his character would eat yogurt.  Howard wanted to scream, just eat the fucking yogurt.  James said he’s still friends with Tobey Maguire, who’s making  The Great Gatsby,  now.  They talked about the director of American Beauty.  that he was in Detroit for 6 months filming  Oz the Great and Powerful, and that the dad on Your Highness  is also the dad on  Game of Thrones,   Howard told him the guy who wrote  Pretty Woman was also going to write Fartman at one time.  James Franco was in Freaks and Geeks with Robert Davi, who was in Goonies  and The Profiler  Says he’s a great bad guy, has a severe face, which Robin called acne.  That’s where he met Judd Apatow.  Howard asked if he stayed in character like Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln.  He said he does if he needs to learn an accent.  Omarosa was in studio.  She was engaged to Michael Clarke Duncan who was in The Green Mile.  Howard said it was a great movie and he was a great actor.

Howard talked about Precious.   Said she should make a comeback on Fat Splash.  He and Robin said they watched Olympus Has Fallen  over the weekend and really liked it.  It was like  Die Hard just tearing up the White House with lots of planes and shit.  The violence looks like you’re in a video game.  Robin’s news had a story about a man who staged a fight to impress his girlfriend, and Howard said it was like The Bodyguard.

This Day in History, Raymond Norman was in studio (Oprah Winfrey, Negro Woman of the South) and he talked about The Color Purple and especially Beloved being a piece of garbage.

Week of 3.18.13  (thanks to MarksFriggin.com, SternFan MuttStern Superfans and various websites and tweets for keeping us updated while we couldn’t listen)

One of the people who won a charity auction to sit in the studio was actor Michael Kearns.  He was in Body Double and Kentucky Fried Movie.

Howard talked about Kate Beckinsale being so hot in Underworld.  Then he said he recently watched Braveheart, and Mel Gibson should become Braveheart full time, as he was such a great guy in that movie.  Robin says she realized that Mel’s so angry now because she had just seen Mad Max 2 and he used to be such a great looking guy.

Fred had a special Monday night: The Power of Drops.  He played played the “Redrum” clip from The Shining, “Ack!Ack! from Mars Attacks, both he uses whenever Eric the Actor calls in.  Right before Eric shouts out “I’m club fucking footed, you asswipe!” Robin and Howard were talking about how weird his feet were, and Robin said he’s put together like Jeff Goldblum’s brindle fly in The Fly.  He played lots of George Takei sound bytes.  One was his talking about wrestling, and Howard said that whenever gay men talk about having sex, they always start out wresting.  He said that it’s like Brokeback Mountain, where the guys start out wresting, and then suddenly are in someone’s ass.  He played the “Fuck You!” “Bullshit” “Do you think it takes talent to play Frankenstein. Dracula it’s all in the eyes” and “Karloff doesn’t deserve to smell my shit!” all from Martin Landau’s Bela Lugosi, and Johnny Depp’s “I like to dress in women’s clothing” all from Ed Wood.  He played OJ Simpson when Gary drug him in for an interview when Naked Gun 33-1/3, The Final Insult, which OJ said was going to be called Beating a Dead Horse.  Fred got lots of great sound bytes from that interview.  He played John Vernon as Dean Wormer saying “0.0″ from  Animal House.  The smelly vagina smell Fred plays is from the 1932 Our Gang’s The Birthday Blues.  Howard was talking about a woman’s pubic hair is made to smell to attract men, and Howard said that reminded her a scene from Quest for Fire.  The Richard Crenna’s “It’s Over, Johnny.  It’s over!” from First Blood, the first Rambo movie.  He played Christian Bale’s “Oh, good for you!” outburst during the Terminator Salvation, the Deliverance pig sounds of Ned Beatty, and the Baba Booey “I want you back tape” that was cut into the Jerry Maguire Booey Maguire song.

During the news, Howard was interviewed about trying to sleep on the plane to San Antonio for the AGT taping.  He complained he was next to Ralph and said he was crazy laughing like Robert De Niro in Cape Fear while watching The Walking Dead.

Week of 3.11.13  (thanks to MarksFriggin.com & SternFan Mutt and other tweets for keeping us updated while we couldn’t listen)

Gerard Butler was in studio to plug Olympus Has Fallen.  Aaron Eckhart, 2 Face from Batman is in it.  Howard asked him about liking Barbra Steisand’s singing. Howard said he hates her singing, but liked her movies: Yentl, Prince of Tides, The Way We Were and The Main Event (Gary couldn’t believe he liked that last one).  Gerard told a story when he was a teenager doing a French Connection roll out of a car.  He said he played an extra in The Bodyguard.  Talked about Phantom of the Opera, Skyfall, Chasing Mavericks and Howard compared his new relationship with Pretty Woman.  He thanked Howard for his support of Machine Gun Preacher.

Bill Maher was on Shuffle and after being questioned, said it felt like The Godfather. Talked about Kevin Smith’s Dogma movie, saying religion is a crutch for simple minded people. He said he was in a theater watching Presumed Innocent and told some kids to shut the fuck up, which they did, but then proceeded to beat him up after the movie.

Week of 3.4.13

This week is Mammory Lane, as Howard’s in New Orleans for America’s Got Talent.  One of the segments was a news story about Danny Glover who filed a complaint with New York City because he felt cab drivers wouldn’t pick up black men.  Howard and Fred went off doing their awful Indian accents as cab drivers, saying rich Hollywood black men should wear red hats so that the cab drivers know that these black men would actually pay their fare.  Howard said these cab drivers are fresh off the boat and have no way of knowing that this man made the Lethal Weapon movies with Mel Gibson.  They also played Gilbert doing his Dracula Gottfried, and Billy Crystal doing his “It’s not fun or funny” when being asked if  Mr Saturday Night closed Sunday morning.  During Robin’s news, Howard started talking about Detroit being dangerous and looking like those old Mel Gibson movies Mad Max, Road Warrior.  JD’s Movie Minute was played during the news, and he gives End of Watch 4 out of 5 Um’s.  Wendy the Retard called in and asked for some gadget that could help her store lots of Sirius content.  Howard said he’d let her have it, and then said they needed to film her trying to figure it out.  Said it would be like the beginning of 2001:  A Space Odyssey with the monkeys and the monolith.  Frank Gannon was in studio, who was Nixon’s confidant and a one-time date of Robin’s.  Howard asked him if he’d seen the Oliver Stone movie Nixon.  Howard said he’d spent thousands of hours with Nixon, yet was not featured in the movie.  He asked Frank if he liked the movie, and Frank said it was mostly entertainment, but flawed. Bobby Vinton’s studio visit was played, and he talked about meeting with David Lynch about having a bit part in his movie, Blue Velvet, but Bobby wasn’t available during the filming.  David told Bobby he wanted to use his song for the title soundtrack.  He said he thought the song had such a feeling of innocence, it was the perfect song for his violent movie.  Howard said this is one of the best movies ever made.  Damon Wayans was in studio, and they were playing the piano when he was telling his sad stories, and Howard and Artie were teasing “A Very Special Damon Wayans Story,” and then went off talking about the bad “Very Special” episodes of sitcoms.  Robin said the TV stories could never get graphic, so when the Fresh Prince of Bel Air’s cousin was date-raped, they tore her clothes to look like Flash Dance.  SofiaVergara was in studio to plug Chasing Papi.  This was produced by Forest Whitaker, whom Howard calls the black guy with the lazy eye.  She said she had also been in Big Trouble.  Incubus was in studio discussing the name of the band, and Fred started playing the music from The Exorcist in the background.

Week of 2.25.13

The week started with Howard talking about the Academy Award show that was on Sunday night.  He said he hated the musical numbers from Chicago and Les Miserables.  Thinks they’re both horrible, and Les Miserables looks totally miserable.  Says it looks like it’s the worst ever of all the horrible Broadway shows.  He doesn’t like Adele’s Bond song from Skyfall, thinks Shirley Bassey has lost her voice when singing Goldfinger.  Robin reminded him she’s in her 70’s.  He wonders why the Oscar show has to use those horrible song and dance numbers, when Argo used Led Zepplin songs – why not use those in the award show?  He was glad Argo won best film, and thinks Oscar did wrong by not nominating either Ben Affleck for Argo or Kathryn Ann Bigelow for Zero Dark Thirty in the best director category.  He thought Daniel Day-Lewis had a funny Best Actor acceptance speech for Lincoln, and he liked Tarantino’s Best Original Screenplay speech for Django Unchained.  Howard said Barbra Streisand is losing her voice.  He says he’s glad, as he never liked her singing, but thought she made some great movies and wants her to get back to directing.  Howard and Robin were talking about Liam Neeson.  Howard said he was in the one of the best superhero movies ever, Darkman.  Then Robin went on to say that Liam is never able to loose his accent in these movies.  Howard said he didn’t have one in Taken, but Robin disagreed, insisting that he did have an accent in this movie.  Joan Rivers was in studio, and Howard said again how much he liked her documentary, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work  Started the show with a clip from Full Metal Jacket.  Here’s a short film a fan did when the guy in the movie came in to yell at Howard and the gang.  For Black History Month, they played a clip going into commercial of Samuel L. Jackson when he was in studio talking about the controversy over Tarantino’s use of the “N” word in the movie Jackie Brown.  Samuel said that that was the way the character talked, and for each time Quentin had it in the script, Samuel added a bunch more.  Donald Trump called in and said he thought Django Unchained was racist. Robin says again that she didn’t like it, but Howard still asserts that it’s genius.  Howard played a clip of Alec Baldwin on David Letterman, where he was talking about the news report that he called a reporter a racial slur.  Alec was saying sarcastically that after all these years, they finally realized he was a racist, and that he used a racial slur that hadn’t been used since the 60’s Rod Steiger In the Heat of the Night.

MasterTape Theater Howard was talking with Joey Ramone about Leaving Las Vegas, that Nicholas Cage did a great job playing a drunk, because he acted realistically and didn’t play a falling down drunk.

Week of 2.18.13

Monday is the Satellite Years from March 3, 2009.  Fred was playing Cream’s Sunshine of Your Love, and Artie said how great that scene from Goodfellas was when De Niro is talking and this song is playing.  He says it’s awful when there is a classic rock song that shows up in a horrible movie, but in Goodfellas it was terrific.  Howard was talking about books about the Stones.  Then he mentioned the movie  Shine a Light and that scene where Bill Clinton is there at a benefit concert.  He wonders who would pay that kind of money just to take a picture standing next to a Rolling Stone?  He says that Keith Richards is really not impressed standing next to all these rich and famous people.  It’s like he’s thinking, “I’m a Rolling Stone, who the fuck are you?”  George Takai was in studio, and Howard and George spent part of a morning singing the songs from South Pacific .  Howard knew all the words.  Howard said he can’t wait to see both  the new Oz, the Great and Powerful and Jack and the Giant Slayer.  David Spade was in studio.  He talked about working with Chris Farley in Tommy Boy and Black Sheep.  He said that Chris Farley had been offered Jim Carey role in Cable Guy, but had signed a 2 picture deal so couldn’t do it.  He said Grown Ups was the highest grossing film, so now they made the sequel.  David said that Chris’ movie career hadn’t been going well, as Almost Heroes with Matthew Perry didn’t do very well at the box office.  David also talked about Eddie Murphy being pissed for years about his SNL’s Hollywood Minute joke he did about Eddie Murphy after the movie Harlem Nights bombed, “Look, kids, here’s a falling star!”  He also got booed when he joked about Jim Carey over-acting on Ace Venture, as everyone loved Jim Carey and that movie.  David said that he doesn’t like watching Joe Dirt when it’s on, as it’s not a good one.  Howard was glad that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s latest movie, The Last Stand didn’t do well, and it was about time Arnold had a smack in the head and realized that he can’t control the world.  He wonders how his next one will do that he’s making with Sylvester Stallone.

Mr. Skin came in with his Skin-Antomy Awards.   2 movies not released yet that required mention are Sweetwater, with a nude January Jones, and Very Good Girls with a nude rear shot of Dakota Fanning  running down the beach, but the rumor is that her butt was actually CGI’d.  He says one of the great last of the real breasts was Julia Roberts’ quick shot through the bedpost in Pretty Woman.  The best nude TV shows are Magic City, and Banshee.  Robin says that Banshee is a great show.  Best Nude-Comer is Ashley Hinshaw in About Cherry.  Best Pixilated nudity is Chelsea Handler.  Best debut nudity is Nadine Velazquez in Flight.  He and Howard agree that she’s got one of the hottest nude scenes ever.  She’s walking around naked while Denzel Washington is on the phone.  For Best Merkin, or fake bush, Gina Gershawn wins for her role in Killer Joe,  a movie with Matthew McConaughey.  Howard said that it’s also a good movie.  Take this Waltz with Sarah Silverman and Michelle Williams taking a shower win for real retro-bush.   Best Over 40 award goes to Helen Hunt for Sessions.  She’s 49 and Howard says she looks beautiful and thinks she should win every award out there, she’s that beautiful and that good in the movie.  Best Butt Bong goes to Mac & Devin Go To High School, and the Lifetime Skin-chievement goes to Sylvia Kristel.  The actress most men want to see naked is Jennifer Love Hewett, who did have a nip-slip in Tuxedo.

On the Shuffle, Arnold Schwarzenegger was in studio right after True Lies had been released.  He came in because he was excited that Howard and Robin had said so many good things about the movie on the air.  Howard and Robin kept kissing his ass, and couldn’t say enough good things about that movie.  Said it was fantastic, with great action, stunts and effects.  Howard liked Tom Arnold in the movie, even though he thought Tom had originally been a bad choice.  Arnold was going to make Junior next, again working with Danny DeVito.  Howard loved them together in Twins.  Howard again told the story of he and Fred following Arnold into the men’s room, telling him how much they liked Conan the Barbarian, while Arnold was taking a shit.  Arnold was very nice, saying “Thank you, boys.”  Gary Busey was in studio and they talked about The Buddy Holly Story.

This date in Howard History, they played the segment when Stuttering John is trying to evict Gange and Grillo.  Gary says they’re fighting over this apartment, and he’s seen the place, and it’s not like it’s Xanadu or anything.  Henry Hill was on the phone, so they talked about his life story that was made into the movie Goodfellas.

MasterTape Theater had an older interview with David Spade when he was making Joe Dirt.  Howard asked him wasn’t this the movie he had been paid not to make?  He said that was true, after Lost & Found had bombed, the studio just paid his contract.  Then Adam Sandler had read the script and thought it sounded funny, so he took it to his studio.  David also talked about The Original Kings of Comedy, Spike Lee’s movie, and was saying how it wasn’t fair that the black comics could make jokes about white people, but if he ever started a joke saying, “You ever see when a black guy does…” he’d get a telegram that he needed to leave show business immediately.  He talked about Bring it On, how it’s such a bad movie; Robin agreed.  Howard said just give him a camera and point it at some young girls and he had a movie.  David said it was a family movie, as long as the family was all 40 year old perverts.

 

Week of 2.11.13

This is Valentines “Whole Lotta Love” week.  The Courtney Cox, David Arquette interview was played, and they mentioned meeting during the Scream movies.  Courtney said one time before they were married and had gotten together after a split, David told her he’d been with 2 girls.  They were watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and it’s spoiled that movie for her.  They played Gary’s “I Want You Back” tape cut into the theme of “Jerry (Booey) Maguire.”  Also their gay dance party was played with the Goo Goo Dolls from the movie Philadelphia.  They asked the Goo Goo Dolls to play for this party because Howard had said their ballads always made him weepy and when they were going to book them for the show, he thought these songs would be great for a party like the one in the last scene in Philadelphia.  They performed “Name” and “Iris” which was in the movie City of Angels.  An old girlfriend of Gilbert Gottfreid’s called in, and Howard and Fred compared Gilbert’s behavior during this relationship with Psycho.  A man called in who was following his wife who he thinks is having an affair.  Howard said this was great–just like the movie American Beauty–he can tell his wife he knows, and now he can do whatever he wants.  The wife can never tell him what to do again.  Brigitte Nielsen was in studio talking about the making of Red Sonja, and all the rumors that she and Arnold had had an affair.  Arnold later confirmed.  Gary’s love tape was played, and Howard said that Gary talking sounded like John Travolta’s character in Saturday Night Fever, but the bad filming of this tape was more reminiscent of Ed Wood.  Willie Nelson was in studio and did a duet with Jeff the Drunk of “You Were Always on My Mind” when the movie Dukes of Hazzard was released.  Jeff said he loves Willie and loved this movie.  Howard later said this movie was awful, though he loved Jessica Simpson in her hot pants.  In one clip, Howard was telling a story about the last time he’d smoked pot was with Steve (Grillo’s) and he said they were watching some Cheech and Chong movie, and he couldn’t follow what was going on.

On the Shuffle, Eric the Actor’s hit request was played, and Artie went into his Godfather monologue, then said he was talking straight out of Eraserhead.  In another segment, Fred played the Tarzan yell, one of his favorite sound bytes.

Week of 2.4.13

Russell Brand was in studio.  They were talking about the remake of Arthur and why it didn’t work.  Russell said he thought it was going to be good, they’d let him improvise, but he said when finally was able to sit down and watch the entire movie, he knew it hadn’t worked.  He doesn’t know what went wrong, as it had great writers and a director that had a good track record, but it just didn’t work out.  They thought that maybe it was just the original Arthur was such a great classic, and Dudley Moore was the best.  Gary said he saw Django Unchained and really liked it.  Robin saw it and didn’t like it.  Howard made the announcement that he’d just seen Django Unchained.  He said that this movie and Quentin’s last one, Inglorious Bastards, prove that he’s a fucking genius.  Says he’s beyond anyone, and this movie is brilliant.  Howard can’t believe the nut jobs that are being critical of his use of violence and the N-word.  He says for those in this country who think we are holier than though need to see this movie to remember that this country was built on brutal and barbarian practices like slavery. Howard said this should win the Oscar for Best Picture.  Robin says it should be Argo.  Robin said that Quentin should have asked for her advice before he made the movie, as it’s not doing as well at the box office as he’d hoped.  She didn’t think think it portrayed the way slaves were treated realistically.  She thinks Argo should win the Oscar this year.  Howard said she’s entitled to her opinion, but that she’s wrong, and he reminded her that she liked Last Action Hero.  She says she’ll still stand by that-she says it’s still the best spoof of action hero movies made.   Howard says his job reminds him of the Wizard of Oz.  His co-workers are the Cowardly Lions, and the Wicked Witch was all his former program directors.  Howard and Robin were talking about 3D movies, and saying any movie in 3D that isn’t Avatar isn’t worth watching in 3D.  It’s more of a nuisance.  Robin says she watched the Narnia movies, and she always cries.  She said she hated the thought of wearing those glasses as she was crying, she thought it was gross.   Howard said it’s unsanitary, as you’re supposed to turn your glasses back in to be reused.  Howard hasn’t seen any of these movies and thinks they look horrible.  Tommy Mattola was in studio, and said he’s producing a Broadway musical based on the 70’s movie Super Fly, which Howard said he was a great movie.

Howard said that Beth let him off the hook in seeing Les Miserables.  Howard said he had told her would see it with her, but really didn’t want to go, so was happy when she told him he she would see it without him..  Howard had the idea that Hanzie should be in the remake of the King’s Speech.

On the Shuffle, they played an interview with Michael Richards, who was coming in to plug his movie with Jeff Daniels, Trial and Error.  Howard mentions the name of the movie when he first walks in, but then never said the name again.  He said that Jeff Daniels has been trying to get on the show for a long time, and it’s kind of a game that they won’t let him on.  Arnold Schwarzenegger was on the phone plugging Collateral Damage, and Robin said Predator was a great movie.  Howard said that as long as he’s killing people, it’s going to be a great movie.  Robin said she’s even going to see Terminator 3.

On the SuperFan Round Table, SternFan Mutt said that Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter was really well done, and a good movie.  He said he really did like it better than Lincoln.

Week of 1.28.13

Howard said he saw the movie Warm Bodies over the weekend at a special showing.  He met the director and said it was a cool idea nd he liked it.  Howard was talking about last weekend’s SAG Award show.  Anne Hathaway won for Les Miserables.  He says she’s one of the best actresses around, but seems to be totally unlikeable.  Whenever she’s on an awards show, she plays totally surprised and out of breath, and starts with a weak joke even though Howard says that she always has her acceptance speeches written by a writer.   Daniel Day-Lewis won for Lincoln, and again Howard thinks he’s crazy.  In his speech he talked about the risks he took making this film, and Howard says you make a risk by going to Iraq, not making a movie.  An actress from the PBS series Downton Abby made a speech while she accepted a SAG award and Howard said she sounded like Robin Williams as Mrs. Doubtfire.  Howard said there was no way Sally Field would not have known that Mrs. Doubtfire was her husband, instead believing she was an old woman with a beard.

Jason Bateman was in studio to plug Identity Thief.  Howard hasn’t seen it yet.  They talked about his role in Juno, which he said he had turned it down before his kids talked him into doing it.  They talked about The Switch with Jennifer Aniston. Howard and Robin said that was a funny movie, and Hancock, which Howard said didn’t do well, but Robin said it had done well at the box office.  He asked Jason what it was like kissing Charlize Theron, but he said he was so nervous he couldn’t remember, though when pressed, he did say that he was sure he didn’t have a boner.

This Week in Howard History & Shuffle – An old interview with Goodfellas autobiographical writer Henry Hill.  He was plugging a website that named all the different ways the mob used to kill its enemies, and said 40 pounds of lye could completely decompose a body to leave no trace in 4 months.  Howard and Robin played the Martin Landau clips of him playing Bella Lugosi from the movie Ed Wood.  Howard and Robin say that it’s a great movie, and Fred still uses lots of sound bytes from that movie: “Karloff? Karloff doesn’t deserve to smell my shit” “Fuck You!” and his “Bull Shit!”

Week of 1.21.13

Monday is the inauguration and Howard was talking about President Obama’s daughters, and brought up that he’d watched First Daughter a few weeks ago.  He said it was amazing that anyone would come up with a couple million dollars with the idea to waste it on making this horrible movie.  50Cent was in studio Tuesday, and talked about giving Robert De Niro business advice after he’d worked with him in 2 movies, Freelancers and Righteous Kill.  Howard referenced Kentucky Fried Movie, likening its huge cast and format of vignettes to the new Movie 43.

On the Shuffle, Out of the Closet Stern and his lifemate Blackswell played the remake of Raging Bull, titled “Raging Bulemic”.  Beetlejuice was in and he said he’d been in Men In Black II as a robot, but he’s not in IMDb’s credits.  He said he’d met Will Smith and hung out with him. Elizabeth Berkley from Showgirls was in studio when she was 23.  Howard said that was the best age for women.  Robin reminded him that he’d said last week that 26 was the perfect age when he had had a 26-year old in studio.  Howard said it was a good career move for her to change her image, as she was originally known as the girl from Saved by the Bell, even though she’s blamed for the failure of this movie.  Howard said it wasn’t a good movie, and she said there was no indication while she was filming that it was going to be this bad; it even did well at film festivals.  But it gave her name recognition, so that now she’s in First Wives’ Club.

This Day in Howard History:  Sylvester Stallone was on the phone in 2008 to plug the newest Rambo.  Howard said he and Robin were expecting the worst with this film, but that Howard loved it.  Sylvester said he was skeptical as well, as it had been 20 years since his last Rambo film and he’d gotten older.  He figured he’d get slammed, people saying Rambo was going to break a hip.  Howard said, swear to God, this is the best Rambo ever.  Has great violence and a great story.  Robin doesn’t believe it will be good, but Howard said go see it if you like the Rambo movies, it’s the best one so far.  Sylvester said that Arnold Schwarzenegger and and his daughter called him and said they both loved the movie.  They asked him about the rumor that he reportedly started about Richard Gere and a gerbil.  He said they had been rivals, as both were up for the movie Lord’s of Flatbush, but he denied ever saying anything about Richard Gere.  Then they asked him about movies he might be sorry that turned down, like Romancing the Stone. He said he got the R’s mixed up as he’s dyslexic, because he made the choice to do Rhinestone instead, which turned out to be horrible.  He turned down Face/Off, which Robin said was a great movie, and Rules of Engagement.  Howard said Sylvester had turned down the Christopher Reeve role in Superman, but Sylvester said that wasn’t true, the casting director thought he wasn’t tall enough.  He was asked to be in Beverly Hills Cop, but he thought he wouldn’t be able to pull off telling gay jokes, as he was seen as being a tough guy, not a smart ass.  So he actually rewrote the script and it looked more like Training Day than the original comedy, so the makers of the movie backed out.  He also turned down the Bruce Willis role in Die Hard, the Harrison Ford role in Witness, and the Jon Voight role in Coming Home.  He denied every having sex with Sharon Stone, but he did take a shower with her in The Specialist.  He says it never sparked between them.  From the same day, J.J. Abrams called in.  He wrote Armageddon and Regarding Henry.  He was calling in to promote Cloverfield, which he produced and Howard said was really wonderful. JJ was the producer.  A caller said his wife vomited while watching due to the camera angles.   One caller said she was disappointed, as she didn’t learn anything.  JJ said it’s definitely not for everyone.  He also directed Mission:  Impossible III and talked about how he went to the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding, and said what great people they are.  He’s directing the new Star Trek now, and Tom brought his daughter Suri to the set.  Said the casting of Spock, from the series Heroes in this new movie, is genius.  Robin said that JJ created the two best series on TV:  Lost and Alias.

Week of 1.14.13

Live in the studio this week.  Golden Globes were on last night.  Howard says he usually fast forwards through Julianne Moore, though he thinks she’s a great actress, and loved her in Game Change.  They played Daniel Day-Lewis’ acceptance speech for best actor for Lincoln, saying he probably needs a handler, as he sounds pretty crazy.  They played Jodie Foster’s rambling speech, and the cameras panned to Mel Gibson, her co-star in The Beaver, which Howard said he never saw, but looked awful.  Robin said she did she it and told Howard not to waste his time, it was terrible.  Howard was glad that Tarantino won best screenplay and Christoph Waltz won Best Supporting Actor both for Django Unchained.  Robin said she saw a great vampire movie, but then wouldn’t confirm it was a vampire movie, only that Howard would love it and it was fantastic:  Grace.  Howard said the most pirated movies over the past weekend were Django Unchained, Zero Dark Thirty and The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.  Tom Arnold was in studio, and talked about being good friends with Dax Shepard after working with him on Hit and Run.  Howard told him he was good in that.  Tom said it’s a good movie and is out on video now. Dax is such a good friend, he had even offered to give Tom sperm as Tom has a low sperm count and he and his wife were trying to conceive, but they decided to try again, and this time it took.  He’s been good friends with Arnold Schwarzenegger ever since True Lies..  A song from Howard Stern, the Musical was played.  JD singing “Jason Is a Snitch Man” from Fiddler on the Roof.  During the news, Howard said that a note written by Francis Ford Coppola was found that had names of alternate actors he had been considering for The Godfather.

Robert Carradine and Curtis Armstrong from Revenge of the Nerds were in studio.  Howard asked them if they’d seen Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower, a recent nerd movie.  Howard said them acting in that movie was like Sean Penn doing Fast Times at Ridgemont High, their agents must have told them it would be a horrible movie for them to make if they were serious actors, but for each of them it turned out great.  Curtis Armstrong had also been in Risky Business, which he said was a good movie, and Howard said it was a great movie.  Robert Carradine’s father was John Carradine, who was in some of the greatest movies ever made.  Howard asked him to name some, and he said Stagecoach, Grapes of Wrath and Captains Courageous.  They said Anthony Edwards stopped them from making Revenge of the Nerds III, as he turned it down to do the TV series ER.  Robert Carradine likened his brother David’s death to the movie Argo, the fact that it won’t be solved.  Howard said David’s suicide never made sense, as his career was just revitalized and was taking off after his role in Kill Bill & Kill Bill: Vol 2, so agreed it must have been a homicide.  Howard has made fun of his death for years, as he was found bound like he had been masturbating and practicing auto-erotic asphyxiation.  Robert said there was no way he could have bound himself like that, and there were footprints around his body, so he knows someone else strangled him trying to make it looks like a self-inflicted accident.  Kevin Bacon was in studio.  He told a story of making a movie with Charlize Theron called Trapped and doing a love scene completely naked, though wearing a cock sock or “bacon bag.” Howard went on to name all the great movies Kevin’s been in:  Wild Things with Denise Richards, Flatliners, Animal House, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Diner, Frost/Nixon, A Few Good Men, and Mystic River.  He talked of still not being able to go to weddings without a DJ playing the title song from Footloose. Howard played for Kevin Benjy’s Footloose speech that he gave at a town hall (it’s on HowardStern.com). Kevin obviously enjoyed it.  He was in the original Friday the 13th, and said Kevin Bacon Can Dive Nor Run for Shit, a you tube clip from that movie that shows just that. Howard asked him what he put in his swim trunks during that movie, and Kevin says he must have used something but didn’t remember.  He said that his dick wasn’t that big.  Howard loves him in XMen:  First Class.  Says he’s one of the best villains ever, and deserved an Academy Award, but they never honor comic book movies.  Howard asked him if he’d seen the remake of Footloose, which Howard thought was awful. Kevin said he enjoyed it.  Kevin says that JFK re-started his career, as he’d been in a 10-year slump starting with Quicksilver.  His agent said he should start looking at himself as a character actor rather than a leading man, and then he talked to director Oliver Stone and got the part, and his movie career has been going strong ever since.  Lena Dunham was on the phone, and said that Judd Apatow had seen Tiny Furniture, and that’s how she got the job in her TV series Girls.

Week of 1.7.13

They are live in studio this week, though Robin’s out Monday.  Howard started talking about movies he’s seen over the weekend and complaining about studios not sending him screeners.  He did see Zero Dark Thirty.  Gary had gotten the screener and given to him to watch and he really liked it.  He said he could rewind and watch the scene of killing Osama bin Laden over and over.  Gary talked about it being listed by critics as one of the top 3 movies of 2012, which included Argo, which Howard, Gary and Robin loved, and Lincoln, which Howard didn’t like–said first part was really boring, and the 2nd half was a little better.  Jon Hein really liked Lincoln, though agreed it was a little long.  Howard said he also watched an older movie with Katie Holmes and Michael Keaton called First Daughter, which he thought was a good chick-flick.  Howard said Michael Keaton played the worst father ever.  He also had a photographer in studio, Kevin Mazur, who was pushing his new movie Sellebrity.  Howard hadn’t seen it.  He mostly talked to him about his website, wireimage.com, and all the money he’s made with it.  Tracy Morgan was in studio and said he really liked Django Unchained.  He wasn’t offended by the high use of the “N-word”.  He wouldn’t comment on Catt Williams and Spike Lee coming out against the movie, saying it was just their tastes.  Tracy also talked about The Days of Wine and Roses, said he admired Jack Lemmon, and that he’d raised him, as he studied him along with Peter Sellers.  He referenced the movie The Onion Field when he was talking about dealing with his own survivor guilt.  Said he loved and studied the original Planet of the Apes, but didn’t like the prequel, Rise of the Planet of the Apes.   Wed on the Wrap Up Show, Jon and Gary were talking about Scott DePace helping JD with his finances, and they mentioned the movie The Boiler Room.  They both said it was a great movie.  It was hard to understand, but sounded like JD mentioned he saw the movie “The Red Bluebird” and it was  great.  Can’t find that on IMDb, will try to listen more closely to the replay (it was Looper that he was trying to say that he liked so much) J.B. Smoove was in studio, and listed movies he’s been in, and though Howard didn’t say he liked these movies in particular, he said J.B. was good in them:  Tomorrow Night, Pootie Tang, Hall Pass, Date Night, The Sitter, We Bought a Zoo.

During the Shuffle, an interview with Rob Schneider is played. They talk about Deuce Bigalow, and Big Stan.  Howard said these were great movies.

Week of Jan 2, 2013.

They are back live in the studio on Wed, Jan 2, 2013 and will work Thurs & Fri.  The show starts with Howard talking about smoozing with the stars over vacation.  Said he met Emily Blunt, and that he had seen Looper said it was really good.  JD later tweeted that he thought Looper was one of the best films of 2012.  Howard also met the guy who wrote Your Highness.  He said that was a great funny movie–one of those he has to stop in the middle of whatever he’s doing to watch if it’s on.  This guy also wrote Tropic Thunder, which Robin said that was her stop in the middle of whatever you’re doing movies.  Howard also spent time with George Clooney and said he loved his movie The American.  Robin said her favorite George Clooney movie was The Descendants.  Later, Robin was talking about the documentary The US vs. John Lennon.  She said she loved it.  It did a great job showing John’s activist involvements in the anit-war movements.  Talking about Martin Short’s movies, 3 Amigos, Father and the Bride, and The Big Picture, saying his movies were never were able to showcase his true talents like they did in the SCTV series.  They also liked him when he was on Saturday Night Live.  They played audio from a a scene from The Big Picture where Martin plays an agent.  Howard says it’s brilliant. and he always manages to shine even in his small cameo roles.  Not much movie talk on Thurs & Fri.  Mainly talked about Ronnie revealing that he washes his ass in the bathroom sink after taking a shit.

Archives 2012